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Original poster

Am I being an idiot going to meet this man?

109 replies

fairgame84 · 16/08/2019 12:57

I went on holiday to Tunisia in May. Met a lovely waiter at the hotel and I asked him out on a date. We went for a coffee, had a kiss and nothing more.
Since then we have video called every day. He seems genuinely lovely and I'm due to go back next month to spend a week with him. Except I'm getting cold feet.

He is 10 years younger than me and wants a ltr with marriage and children. I'm mid thirties and have a teenager, I don't know if I want to start a family all over again. I'm settled with my career and happy.
I've heard and read all the horror stories about being used for visas etc so I'm aware that he might not be genuine. He hasn't asked me for money and I would never give him any.

My friends have warned me not to go due to safety concerns.
When I write it all down it seems so stupid to go but then he could be one of the few blokes that is genuine.

Do I just go and see how things go or do I cancel my flights and bin him off?

OP posts:
captainprincess · 16/08/2019 13:04

Don't go!! He is using you, 100%. Sorry, but I do believe that. Had a family member who has an almost identical story and is now £6000 poorer...

Kalim8 · 16/08/2019 13:06

Cancel and bin, it's not difficult to be nice once a day for a video call, sounds like a scam.

TheQueef · 16/08/2019 13:06

Don't be so bleeding stupid.
You are setting yourself up.

howyoulikemenow · 16/08/2019 13:10

I wouldn't. Think of your safety, and your child if anything were to happen to you.

I did something daft when I was 18 with a guy I met abroad. I went to meet him when we got back home, travelled from Yorkshire to Plymouth and stayed with him a few days. I then it phased out as I didn't really like him. Looking back it was daft of me to go all that way alone to see someone I met on holiday, but I didn't really have anything to lose at that time either as I had no responsibilities and no money.

Silversky70 · 16/08/2019 13:12

Please cancel your flights, and block him. There's probably a few of you he's got on the go.

flumpybear · 16/08/2019 13:12

This is a terrible idea - it'll be a scam ...sorry OP - get out now, in tact and without losing money or your worldly goods

toadabode · 16/08/2019 13:12

Please listen to yourself. Even IF he was genuine (which I don't think is likely), what are you going to do? Leave your teenage son, family and friends and your job and move to Tunisia to live with a waiter ten years younger than you? Really? Come on

Bluntness100 · 16/08/2019 13:13

Cmon now op. You know the answer to this.

Ginmel · 16/08/2019 13:13

Dear me. I was sure you'd be a first time poster but your are far from it. Please listen to your friends OP. They have your best interests at heart. I would happily bet that waiter tried it on hundreds of other times that day and has done since.

TildaKauskumholm · 16/08/2019 13:13

You know the answer... these things do not end well.

Original poster
fairgame84 · 16/08/2019 13:13

It doesn't help that there are 2 women at work that are married to North Africans and they are encouraging me to go. One has been married for years and he is genuine, the other is clearly only with her for a visa.
It's hard to see it because they kind of lovebomb you.

OP posts:
Mishappening · 16/08/2019 13:13

A waiter! - are you serious????

Run a mile.

SunSeaLust · 16/08/2019 13:14

Cancel & Bin!! Come on OP haven't you read about this sort of thing? He will use you & drain you financially in a manipulative manor!

FabulouslyFab · 16/08/2019 13:15

“Bluntness100
Cmon now op. You know the answer to this.”

This ⬆️

TheVanguardSix · 16/08/2019 13:16

Short answer: Yes
Long answer: Hell yes.

Belgravian · 16/08/2019 13:17

There are websites in Tunisian love rats!

He does not love you!

www.tunisianloverats.com/

BrunettesDoItBetter · 16/08/2019 13:19

Get a copy of Take a Break or That's Life they will be full of real life stories of women just like you.They do it so can come and live in Britain it's a well known con

Belgravian · 16/08/2019 13:20

I bet if you look on the Tunisian love rat sites you will eventually find him on there having tried to dupe other women

Original poster
fairgame84 · 16/08/2019 13:22

I've all the stories and seen the websites but it's one of those where you always think 'mine is different'.
I know you are all right that's why I've been wobbling over the decision. I just needed to see it in black and white to push me into cancelling. I'll not a refund on the flights but in the long term it's nothing compared to what could happen.

OP posts:
Original poster
fairgame84 · 16/08/2019 13:23

I bet if you look on the Tunisian love rat sites you will eventually find him on there having tried to dupe other women

He's not on there. Not yet anyway.

OP posts:
M0RVEN · 16/08/2019 13:25

Wise decision

MaverickSnoopy · 16/08/2019 13:27

I get it. It's the "what if" and also the fact that plenty of people meet their spouses all over the world.

For me the risk of losing everything would eradicate the teeny tiny remote chance that hes genuine and mr right. You have to think of your child in this.

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