What is your favourite non sweary insult?

[BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger]

Mine is : 'You are a boot faced idiot, with the morals of a Tory.'

‘Not too many neurons to rub together, have we?’

Either you’re acting stupid, or it’s not an act

The wheel is turning but the hamster’s dead

Yer da sells Avon

I just call idiots melts 😂

I think a lot of these are actually far more insulting than swearing. Seriously derogatory stuff about people with learning disabilities.
Fucking cunt is far less offensive.
This

Another one, "the lift doesn't go to the top floor with them"

The lights no but nobody’s home...

He's a fart in a colander
She's a Naus (as in nauseating)

Tube
Clown
Tool
Plum

You absolute balloon !!!

Somewhere a village is looking for its idiot !!!

Nincompoop

Yer maw

Ur da sells avon

Flungbeetle.

I agree with PP that some of these, while seeming to be inoffensive, are hugely disabilist and would probably get you the sack quicker than if you called someone a twat! I think I'll stick to my swears!

Can't put brains in coconuts

How can you be so stupid with only one head?

"Special kind of stupid" or "not right", said with a precise combination of disdain and sympathy.

Last night at my DND game, reference was made to make 'meaty bang-bangs' out of someone.

I've decided it's the new thing.

"sir, I say SIR, you pompous buffoon, come back here so I can make meaty bang-bangs out of your cold lifeless body"

Face like a bag of spanners
Thick as two short planks
As much use as a chocolate fireguard

Fucking cunt is far less offensive.

^^

Really? Like, really¿

I hope your balls turn square and fester in the corners.

I much prefer to swear, then people ask me why and I say well would you rather I use violence. (Not violent just say it to annoy people)
My fave swear word is bollocks 😊

hadenough mine is Lobbocks!

Also...if brains were dynamite, he/she wouldn't have enough to blow his/her hat off.