What is your favourite non sweary insult?

[BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger]

Mine is : 'You are a boot faced idiot, with the morals of a Tory.'

Don't just stand there like a tit in a trance,
Septic tank,
Stop occupying my breathing space, you anal probe,
Trash monkey,
Filth pig,
Chimp deluxe

Do one fishface!

That’s my favourite.

That face needs to take a dump.

Fuck face. Such a classic.

You're not the biggest idiot in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die..

@powershowerforanhour that made me laugh and I like that you ignored the non sweary rule cos now I don't feel so bad about mine - cuntnugget and cuntybollocks and wankybollocks

And before anyone says anything no I'm not very ladylike

Ya Glaikit Bawbag

Wheel spinning, hamster dead.

The other day I read a meme on FB that said
'I would unplug your life support to charge my phone' and it made me laugh far too much

One I remember was "I'm not having that from you, White Trainers!" (said to someone with very new footwear but otherwise wouldn't work).

Yer Traycloth
and
Birdbath (credit to Victoria Wood)

“Help! Someone’s anus has broken loose!”

@Lofari I'm absolutely and blatantly stealing that!!

I once called my ex a twat faced weasel. I still say it a lot in my head.

TractorTartofThigh

Completely agree.

Twerp
Dingbat
Doof
Doofbutt
Stinker
A one- as in He’s a one
Idiot
Wally
Moron

Second Nincompoop and Fishface!

Also, Merry Andrew, Doughnut, Waffle, Saucy Merchant.

Slightly sidetracking, but I love the fact that the current US President is proud of his name, because it is a synonym for 'the boss', 'ace', 'top dog' etc.

He appears not to know, however, that to a large proportion of the UK population (especially the children), it also means something else - something rather comical and not particularly something you'd usually want to be compared to....

My mum once called someone a 'tattooed shagwit' and i laughed for days.She is very funny x

You degenerate oaf

A rare non-sweary Malcolm Tucker moment, 'he's so dense that light bends around him'

My DD called my DH a ‘titbag’ the other day because he made her go to bed. It’s become my favourite word.

Lost fart in a wind storm

Don’t fancy yours much

No favourites, as such, but I often call appropriate people:

Nincompoop;

Nitwit;

Doylem;

Numskull;

Div.

Asshat
Communter (originally a estate agent typo)
Cagina (from the Peter Andre star stories I think)