What is your favourite non sweary insult?

[BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger]

Mine is : 'You are a boot faced idiot, with the morals of a Tory.'

Go bob for apples in a deep fat fryer.

Eejit

Also like you big galoot

You absolute banana.
Pranny.
Nitwit.
I fart in your general direction. (Basically any of this scene from Holy Grail...now go away before I taunt you a second time!)

Sometimes only a swear will do though

Who put 50p in the moron 😂 😂I am so stealing that one!

My stock insult is cockwomble but I guess that’s a bit sweary 😆

According to British legal stature, an idiot is an individual with an IQ of less than 20, an imbecile has an IQ of between 20 and 49, and a moron an IQ between 50 and 69.

Cretin was the term for a child with an untreated congenital thyroid deficiency causing developmental delay and with associated facial anomalies.

bottom feeder is my favourite

Dumber than a bag of hammers always makes me laugh too. Or calling someone a waste of skin.

'Face like a melted welly'

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong!
Numpty

I think a lot of these are actually far more insulting than swearing. Seriously derogatory stuff about people with learning disabilities.
Fucking cunt is far less offensive.

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

All front door and no upstairs
Two bricks short of a load
All lace curtains and no knickers
All up your passage and nothing in your boots
When you were born common sense was on strike
Words can never hurt me but you'll choke on yours

I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed. - Shakespeare

Cotton-headed ninnymuggins - Elf

Chuckle-head

Rocket
Weapon
Tube

Wish I had the nerve to use some of these.

Can backfire though. Once saw somebody wearing a t-shirt which read:
"Everyone has a right to be stupid occasionally but your abusing the privilege"
😐

Six million years of evolution and you are the best we can do???

"Was you born stupid or have u just had a lot of practice"

Div

Bleedin eejit!

When someone doesn't indicate/cuts me up/other annoying driving incidents, I should "I hope you get explosive diarrhoea"

I love Basil Fawlty's 'cloth eared bint.'

I may be fat but you are ugly, At least I can lose weight! or she's got a face for radio, or Yikes he looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Crannog

If pigs could fly, you'd be wing commander!

Your father was an 'amster and your mother smells of blueberries!'