What is your favourite non sweary insult?

[BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger]

Mine is : 'You are a boot faced idiot, with the morals of a Tory.'

The wheels going round but the hamsters dead

COCKWOMBLE 😇

From a recent thread
"Who left the gate open at the cunt farm?"
is one that I will never use out loud, but I'll be thinking it in my head

Oh the OP said non sweary.

I've used "Were you brought up or dragged up?" a couple of times.

Bozwellocks

Numpty

Bimbo

Overgrown chav (personal favourite for our local tracksuit idiots who run in front of cars)

Like wank badger and numpty.
Ds(17) calls people "melts" or "spoons" if they are being thick. Both of these make me laugh

Cheese eating surrender monkey!

Wank badger lol

Bright as a blackout

Cretin, although probably not very pc!

Tube

Slow clap

On a different note, I like a good swear and I'd rather people say actual words rather than something that hints at it - can't stand it when people 'barsteward' instead of 'bastard'. Just say it, we know what you mean.

Jog on you donkey faced cock gibbon (DH’s little gem)

You fell from the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down and when you got to the bottom, you had your face smashed in with a spade.

Worth practicing a few times

Sausages

So dense light bends round you.

We do have a girl at work that's known on the QT as lava lamp.

Pretty to look at but a bit dim.

Face like a well slapped arse is a firm favourite

Or
When god gave you teeth he ruined a perfectly good arse

I obviously have a thing about arses

You, sir, are as much use as tits on a fish.

Well isn't he/she a b.o.b.f.o.c.
(body off Baywatch, face off Crime watch).

At home with our kids, we use plonker or moose for silly behaviour.

NatashaRomanov, forgot about BOBFOC, not heard that for years and it made me giggle

Wazzock

Body off Baywatch with a face off crimewatch. I’ve used that quite recently meow