Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

[Oldbutstillgotit]

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

He'll find somewhere else to stay and then tell everyone at the club that he had his free holiday OR say he decided not to go because it wasn't up to his standards - there's no way he'd want to lose face by admitting it fell through!

I would have never told them about the new villa because now they will definitely follow you. Dick doesn't seem fazed by anything I'm afraid. Everybody's worst predictions have come true and he is the kind of person for whom you can easily expect the worst case scenario to materialise.

Update . Anne sent a very nice email to Carol. She showed it to Barbara and me and it was certainly a lot friendlier than mine would have been ! Basically , Anne said that she appreciated everything Carol had done but stressed that the holiday was always going to be an all female event and Dick simply couldn’t go.
She again said that Carol could have the flight but it was probably better if she and Dick didn’t socialise with us at the airport . She finished by saying that we will be staying in a different villa.
Carol replied saying she was still very upset and was a bit “ bewildered “. She also asked where the new villa is to which Anne replied that she would not be sharing that information.
That was it until this morning . Anne, Barbara and I were having coffee ( I promise I do things other than drink coffee or wine!) when Anne’s phone rang. It was the villa owner saying that she had had a phone call from a man saying that he and his wife would be in the x area next week and they would like to pay a surprise visit to friends ( mentioned Anne’s name) but had misplaced the villa address ! Owner said she couldn’t divulge that and man became a bit shouty but she still refused but thought she should let Anne know.
In case you are wondering how he got the number, when Anne booked the original villa she sent us all copies of the information which included contact details.
It has all become a bit unpleasant thanks to Dick .

Well, I should think that would be Carol's flight cancelled then.

Omfg!

The nerve of them!

Message to Carol - X just happened - and you wondered why we didn't want any men along?!

Definitely cancel Carols flight! I don’t buy all this rubbish that it’s just him. Carol has willingly fed him all the info and they are both equally nasty people.

had a phone call from a man saying that he and his wife would be in the x area next week and they would like to pay a surprise visit to friends ( mentioned Anne’s name) but had misplaced the villa address

OH. MY. GOD!!

Dick has NO SHAME whatsoever! 😱😱

They are still hoping to wangle a free room!

Fucking hell.

Wow! I've been lurking on the thread becoming more gobsmacked by their behaviour! But this is the limit! Anne was doing something lovely which they are now trying to ruin. I felt she was very gracious to still allow Carol to keep the flight, but after that update she really has no choice but to cancel Carol's flight. To be honest they sound slightly unhinged!!!

This is getting more concerning, I'd be feeling very uncomfortable about the possibility of meeting them at the airport and how Dick will act when he doesn't get his way.

Anne and Carol soon won't be friends at this rate!!

I hope Anne messages Carol and asks exactly what Dick thought he was doing!!!

Anne is doing really well to stand up to the CFers.

Well done the villa operator not giving out the info either.

So much damage has been done to this friendship group.

I am confused. Which villa owner did Dick speak too, the new villa or the previous one?

I honestly don't know what is wrong with Carol, she knew what the deal was when it was first mentioned. Can she not see how out of order she has been or is she completely under Dick's thumb? If I was Carol I would be very embarrassed by my husband.

Very glad that neither of them know where your villa is. I can't believe their bare faced cheek in trying to find the address. Beware though, they may hunt you down. Why? I honestly do not know. I certainly wouldn't want to go somewhere I wasn't wanted.

Anne needs to flatten Dick once and for all. Really have it out in a straightener. Bloody hell.

And the CF-ery just gets worse and worse.
Poor Anne.
I think a PP was right.
Text Carole 'X just happened - and you wondered why we didn't want any men along?!. I'm very disappointed in you right now. This is just getting worse. Please tell Dick that he is not welcome in any way, shape or form. We will catch up when we all get back'

Why are some people so forceful surely if you thought for a second someone didnt want you somewhere you wouldnt dream of going ...yes you would be upset in private but would you force yourself into a situation like that

I get the feeling they won't actually travel as it involves paying for accommodation.

Carole has definitely lost the rights to any perks such as the free flight now!!

Omg Dick is SUCH A DICK what an entitled twat! I'm so glad the villa owners have Anne's back.

Carole has definitely lost the rights to any perks

Carole has definitely lost the rights to any friendship!

Dick is certainly living up to his name now. I feel a bit sorry for Carole. Maybe she needs to be rescued from her husband.