Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

[Oldbutstillgotit]

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

Flipping hell! That’s anxiety and there’s total and utter cheeky fuckery. Poor Anne, having tried to do a nice thing has had it completely ruined. I suffer with anxiety and I also have adhd but I wouldn’t agreed to something then engineer my dh coming. If I was Anne I’d be hugely tempted to cancel Carole’s flight.

Absolutely cancel the flight!

This has now gone into way past CF- - he’s been aggressive to the villa owner and clearly HASNT booked alternative accommodation and is intending to force him and Carol into your accommodation

THis could get very nasty, cut them off please?

They really are the gift that keeps on giving, aren't they?

Dick and Carol have decided they are staying in the villa. It is their free holiday. Carol is bewildered at Anne's continued silliness, which suggests Carol fully expects to turn up at the villa with Dick, look hurt/confused and be given the master suite without further nonsense. They are probably getting increasingly angry at their free holiday being stolen from them.

Well you won't run short of things to talk about on the holiday...

I'm afraid I would advise Ann to cancel Carol's ticket. Such poor behaviour. No good deed goes unpunished certainly.

Good lord! Did Dick think that Anne was fibbing about changing the villa do you think? Trying to find out if you’d still be there to push himself and his awful wife in? I am flabbergasted at the nerve of these 2

I sincerely hope that Anne will not pay for Carol's flight. Carol reneged on the agreement and I believe that means she forfeited her 'right' (it wasn't really a 'right' for anyone), to a free flight.

Anne is too nice for her own good.

@BurnedToast it’s the same owner . She is an expat friend of a friend who has a few properties.

Is the transport from the airport to the villa all sorted?
Am assuming the taxi company will be made fully aware too, just in case Dick tries to get into the cab before the rest of you do

Perhaps link Carol to this thread so she can see she is alone in not getting what is wrong with their behaviour ( and find out about Dick bowstring about free hols in t.he good club)

Fucking hell, what is wrong with people??

Wow just fucking wow. I really didn't believe that this pair could get any cheekier but fucking hell, the CFery of them knows no bounds. It was a really nice gesture for Anne not to cancel Carol's ticket but after them pulling this stunt I would cancel the ticket and not tell them. Let them make a show of themselves at the airport. They really do deserve the embarrassment after this.

Wow! What a horrible man. I think I would msg Carol and ask her if she's aware of her husband's latest actions. (I'm hoping she doesn't realise.)

"It was the villa owner saying that she had had a phone call from a man saying that he and his wife would be in the x area next week and they would like to pay a surprise visit to friends ( mentioned Anne’s name) but had misplaced the villa address ! Owner said she couldn’t divulge that and man became a bit shouty but she still refused but thought she should let Anne know."

What a pushy piece of shit. Thank goodness the villa owner stood firm.

Anne really should cancel Carol's flight. I hope she does.

Dick is determined to bully his way to his free holiday isn’t he. If it were me, I’d honestly re-arrange my flight so as to avoid this ghastly pair, as they will almost certainly latch on at the airport. Could anyone’s DH have a word with Dick and ask him what the hell he’s up to?

@Theimpossiblegirl

Dick is certainly living up to his name now. I feel a bit sorry for Carole. Maybe she needs to be rescued from her husband.

Carol is feeding him all the info so that he can behave the way he does.

I was with a horrible man for a number of years and you learn not to give them the info that will make them behave like Dick.

Carol knows exactly what she is doing.

I have just read the Mexican House thread - is the neighbour related to Dick ?

Can you change your dates and not tell C&D?

How did she have the new villa man’s number?

Sorry cross post

Make sure that you pre-book your seats on the flight, if the flights were booked together you may well end up being seated next to Carol and I’m sure Dick will then muscle in. You should be able to book online, seating Carol away from you.
That way you will be boarded separately, or at least not at the same time.

Anne sounds as though she has been super nice. As great an asset as that is, clearly that approach isn’t working.
I think it’s time for a firmer approach, would you and Barbara feel comfortable meeting with Carol to try and get across just how inappropriate her and Dick’s behaviour is? They are running the risk of spoiling what for Anne was intended to be something very lovely.

What a revolting man.

Hmmmm....so will Dick now tell Carol to tell them he won’t be going so she can join them.......and Him appear later after hiding out into boarding......he sounds that desperate to get his free holiday!
Maybe suggest they collect Sin vouchers next year if they want a cheap getaway

If I were Anne my next email would be

Carol, I’ve just discovered that along with boasting at the golf club about you and him taking advantage of me and bagging a free holiday, your husband has also phoned the villa owner to discover the whereabouts our new villa saying that you and him want to make a surprise visit.

This outrageous behaviour is a slap in the face to my generosity. Myself and the other two ladies do not want our relaxing holiday ruined by you and your husband turning up uninvited and because of this you leave me no option but to cancel your flight.

Sin vouchers??!!! I think that’s they’ve done enough if that! Sun vouchers!