Today I farted in the beauticians face

[numberonecook]

Was gonna NC but sod it.

Today had to be the most embarrassing day of my life. I’ve had three very loud mouthed children and this has topped any situation they’ve ever put me through. I’ve been eating a plant based diet for three weeks and I’ve lost 9lbs so today I went to treat myself to a pedicure.

The lady was very nice and sat me in one of those massaging chairs. Fancy. She was knelt in front of me scrubbing my feet when the massage chair rolled a pulse down my back. Before I knew it I let rip! Anyone who is plant based or vegan will know plant based farts reek

OMG I felt awful. I wanted the chair to swallow me up. The lady was most polite and said ‘il just go get my other file’ and walked over to the shelf (probs to get away from my stench). I left a big tip when I paid lol

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

Hehe, that’s funny. Not what you wanted to hear though.

Oh my that's brilliant! I'm sure its happened to lots of people. I just had a very important work meeting and discovered afterwards that I conducted the whole presentation with a big bit of salad stuck right in the middle of my front teeth. Smashing!

Op did you snap and fart or just fart?

You left a tip? Could have been much worse that you left.....

I farted directly into a doctor's face.

I was a wek post partum and he was removing the stitches from my episiotomy that had broken down.

I hadn't had a bowel movement since I had had the baby.

It was a bad day for all concerned!

Very embarrassing but you'll survive

Just as a side note, it's probably your change in diet rather than your diet that's causing the bad smell.

I know everyone's different but it irrates me when people say vegan's fart more or smell worse.

I hardly ever fart unless I eat white bread & I'm a dairy free vegetarian.

I would definitely say meat eater's farts are way worse than vegetarian or vegan farts. Vege's may fart a bit more due to the fibre but it tends to be windy rather than stinky. Meaty farts are ghastly.

My sister farted in the face of the beautician who was giving her a Brazilian wax. She cried when got she home, I on the other hand laughed for fucking hours at her.

Oh fuck!

I farted throughout a leg operation. Had no idea (I was under GA) and in recovery, the surgeon came in with the nurse to see how I was doing. Probably thinking I was still under, I heard their entire chat about my trombone symphony.

The midwife who stitched me up after DC3’s birth 5 years ago MUST still be talking about the treat I lavished upon her as she toiled away, cross-stitching my nether regions. It was just awful. I just hit the poor woman with a non-stop wall of farts. I became like some fucking conveyor belt of farts. Awful.

Defiantly louder and with more force than before the change in diet.

I sat it out in silence until the end walkamileinmyshoes then gave a tip when I paid. I don’t know if should go back again. She might be ‘fully booked’ next time

Oh god how awful. I once was driving a student to see a patient and sharted I had awful diarrhoea the day before. I had to go home and change my trousers while the student cringed.

Vegan farts are the worst, I say this as someone who ate lentil curry then went to a yoga class The whole room came to a standstill and the instructor ran to the window in horror to open it; it was like a scene from a Stephen King film

Well done on your weight loss OP 👍

thevanguardsix

Sorry but

We largely eat a plant based diet but with no ill effects. Just two major exceptions: chickpeas and farti-chokes.

DH joined me at my yoga class for just one term. He gave up because of the difficulty of trying to keep a fart in.

It's hilarious when it's someone else, you just want to die when it's you.
It's normal though! I am sure the poor doctors and nurses are very used to it! Pedicurist maybe less

Defiantly louder and with more force

Glad you're being defiant about it!

Oh my god that's brightened up my very boring day !

The farts smell worse when your gut biome is adjusting to more fibre. Maybe drink more water.

Post c-section fart - the longest, loudest fart ever!!! Everyone on the ward would’ve heard it. I was relieved, rather impressed and embarrassed in equal measures

You'll have to find a new beautician for definite .

My most embarrassing moment is when I had sepsis during labour and the very good looking registrar had to open me up and fish out my very smelly baby from my even smellier infected uterus. On my notes it says 1:53am live baby boy delivered, offensive smelling ++. That Dr was lovely though, he came to see me 2 days later, apologised for doing the c-section when I wanted a vbac and went over to nicu to see how ds was as well.

I trumped in the hairdresser's chair then put myself through the embarrassment of trying to recreate the sound with my foot, then the chair until I finally gave up

Argh vegetarian plus general anaesthetic is not a good combination as my local hospital learned the hard way