Today I farted in the beauticians face

[numberonecook]

Was gonna NC but sod it.

Today had to be the most embarrassing day of my life. I’ve had three very loud mouthed children and this has topped any situation they’ve ever put me through. I’ve been eating a plant based diet for three weeks and I’ve lost 9lbs so today I went to treat myself to a pedicure.

The lady was very nice and sat me in one of those massaging chairs. Fancy. She was knelt in front of me scrubbing my feet when the massage chair rolled a pulse down my back. Before I knew it I let rip! Anyone who is plant based or vegan will know plant based farts reek

OMG I felt awful. I wanted the chair to swallow me up. The lady was most polite and said ‘il just go get my other file’ and walked over to the shelf (probs to get away from my stench). I left a big tip when I paid lol

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

Dil farted continuously through the last half an hour of labour, we were all in stitches by the end including the me. Dil thought it was especially hilarious but that was probably the drugs

*including the mw

Wait! You fart under anaesthetic?!

I’ve had a fair few operations and will have more in the future. I’m going to be paranoid I’m letting rip all through my next op. 😭

I love this thread . I know I've farted accidently loudly in public but I just can't think of any specific examples. And definitely none as funny as pp.

Omg these stories 🤣

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Hang on, wait
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
I’m done
This thread has give me the most childish giggles Thank you 🙏

Haha so funny! I teach online and once let out a loud one during class on my plastic chair!

I was once at friend's house with two new people. Chairs were scarce so I sat on the floor (wooden floorboards), then farted. Something about the floorboards and angle... basically the whole house shook. The two new people were aghast, we're best of pals now but they have never forgotten it.

It's lucky they weren't at my work the day I had museli, dried apricots and coffee for breakfast though. Three meetings later, desperate to let one go, I popped to the loo and actually fucking levitated, I farted so hard. Sadly, no witnesses to that one though.

This thread has give me the most childish giggles

Me too 🤣

It happened to me too at the beautician - during a bikini wax - it was mortifying. She turned red and was laughing. I was like : I’m so sorry I’m doing the GI diet at the moment 😳

Omg this is hysterical. I am a beauty therapist and regularly am down wind of clients, especially in massages and they gave gone to sleep. Really don't worry about it. I am happy to wax a vagina a bit of wind is fine! I had a client apologise she was late because she was having a really big poo last week! So think my clients are pretty free and easy with me.

I farted in a big meeting once when I worked in the city. I was so sure it was going to a delicate puff, but oh no.

I also managed to flash a tree surgeon last year. I work from home and a client arrived really early. I dashed upstairs undressing and my partner had opened the curtains. We have a 5m wide floor to ceiling window in the bedroom. They definitely got an eyeful of everything. Then had to walk past them with my client.

When I work nights the change makes me very windy, it's deathly quiet at work and there's nowhere to hide!

Donald

Mine isn't a fart one but I have some of those also but a couple of months ago I went to my early morning yoga class. I always pop into the loo before hand normally just to do a wee but this morning I had do a bit more. I did the longest shite I have ever seen. It trailed half way up the toilet bowl. I tried flushing and nothing, tried again, nothing, tried one last time and still it wouldn't budge. I just covered it gently with some toilet paper and went a did my yoga.

The next morning when I went to class, I popped into the loo and there was a sign up on the cubicle I had used the day before saying - out of order.

I was so embarrassed but my kids thought i was great.

Out of order mysweetaudrina you win the thread

I made the mistake of having an egg sandwich whilst I was in labour...a few hours and an epidural later resulted in non stop and totally uncontrollable farts. To be fair I didn't much care at that stage but I do remember the young doctor who was looking after me laughing away.

I didn't know you could fart under a general anaesthetic 😂💨

I used to lactate - 5 years after giving birth! I went to Dr, she asked me to show her, so I squeezed and milk shot out and hit her in the face and eye!!!
The look on her face....

Giggling like a school kid at this thread. I'm ill in bed so it's definitely cheered me up. Not sure if vegan farts are any worse but my DB always knows when it's one of mine because apparently they "smell green"

I am sitting in my car, waiting to go to the beauticians. I am crying with laughter!! Thank you for cheering me up

Loving these tales - am chuckling away like Muttley ( Dick Dasturdly’s dog in Wacky Races for those who are too young to remember )

@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett "actually fucking levitated, I farted so hard"
I just spat my drink out, hilarious 😂

Ha ha ha ha! That must have been MORTIFYING, but is so funny when retold as a story!

For me, it's potatoes that cause extreme flatulence. I must remember never to eat those before a visit to the beautician ...

milk shot out and hit her in the face and eye!!!

a few years back i was in the van with my dad and i had just discovered my love for indian food, anyway he asked me to pass him something and as i lent forward the biggest fart escaped me, i did the whole opps sorry thing, my dad was choking with what i though was laughter up until he opened the van door and threw up.