Village Facebook Page

[Ursaminor]

There's been a change of main topic from dog poo, to the repatriating of Christmas cards sent to the wrong address, sometimes many years after the addressee has moved house. It's like a walk down memory lane!

We have weekly "suspicious vehicle" threads! One vehicle nearly had a fork wielding village posse confront it.

Parked every morning in the same place! Good grief the horror! Turned out it was a care worker visiting a client.

My favourite all time thread was the Eastern European van drivers murdering/eating our swans!

My friends and I have a WhatsApp group dedicated to laughing about the most bizarre posts!

Dog poo is def the most popular, oh and missing cats!

Love this thread!

Weekly topics usually include youth vandalism, missing cats, dog poo, litter picking and suspicious vehicles / strange European men peering into gardens.

We recently had someone saying tiles were stolen from their roof.

My favourite though was the person who came on to ‘share concern’ for the toddler crying all night who sounded very distressed with the rough location. Bloody busybody. Turned out the child was staying with someone for the night for the first time presumably as an unavoidable one-off, which was none of anyone’s business, but the person caring for the child explained and apologised. We’ve all had the crying child at night. I’d have told the sticky beaked cow concerned neighbour to butt out and if she’d been so concerned knock on the door an offer some assistance or to make a cup of tea!

Oh yes, we got lots of ‘just makin every1 aware, Iv just seen a white van parked outside my house. Betta safe then sorry!’

Best one this month though:

‘Just saw the village name fox cross a road so everyone’s aware’
That’s it. Not sure what there is to be aware of. I like to think maybe the fox was carrying Novichok.

Ours is surprisingly quiet at the moment, now I come to think about it. The odd cat either missing or shitting in apparently unrelated incidents.

A few months ago, a village Facebook splinter group created a second village Facebook group and things were getting a bit hairy. It was a bit like the city/United rivalry. The second group was set up so you could post negative reviews about local businesses as the first group would delete any posts complaining about anything other than traffic.

I rarely post but like a pp, I have a WhatsApp group of trusted local sources where we examine our neighbours motivations.

Recent gems from our page...

Woman posts photo of car on fire in woodland on edge of town asking "what do I do?"
People reply "move away and call 999 for fire service/police"
Woman "oh I'm not doing that, it's not an emergency".
People replying end up calling emergency services as woman won't.

Couple of hours later the fire service put up a post on our page recommending that any suspicious fire is reported asap.
Family of woman who refused to call go mad and state "this is clearly aimed at mum/aunty Ang, you bullies" etc etc. Turns into a slanging match between family and others (not the fire brigade) until admin remove it.

There's regular posts from a young bloke and his partner calling for the removal of all play parks from town as children don't pay taxes so why should council money be spent on them? They are tax payers and would like their dogs to have more off leash areas.
We already have two big off leash areas and this couple are notorious for intimidating other dog owners using the area as their dogs "need space".

We also have an Uber driver who hates other Uber drivers as he wants to be the only Uber driver in town. He also hates taxi drivers.
He never misses a beat when someone recommends Joe's Taxis and he'll come on calling Joe and his mob "cowboys" and to use him instead.
He'll also be less than polite to the person who dared to recommend a rival company/driver.

Dogs going missing/turning up in farms literally every. Other. Day.

We did do a successful fund raiser for a defibrillator and they ran 3 free courses by the village Doctor, so now pretty much everyone knows how to use one.

Other than that it is literally just missing dogs.

Oh and the "name and shame"'posts where local children have been up to no good! Those ones really kick off!
My friends and I screenshot those to share as they soon get deleted after the the poster does indeed "name and shame".

Get *out the village more often!!

Lots of posts about ‘suspicious’ van drivers and strangers... driving slowly around the village (presumably looking for the delivery address), usually with comments such as seen at xx place at xx time. Always accompanied by warnings to ‘make sure doors are locked’. We live in a very quiet, rural area with a very low crime rate, yet these posts crop up multiple times a month. I should be pleased there is a community that cares, but it’s so often it’s ridiculous!

Doorbell with cameras have opened up a whole world of suspicious lurkers we must all be aware of

Plus a lot of brexit crap, no idea why it gets approved as its not at all relevant

recently its the tip runs and trying to sell pups. overpriced and likely not registered to do so.

Hot press

Someone has pinched the batteries from the temporary lights at one of the tiny road bridges.... and planning permission has been granted for the Red Lion Pub!

As you were

Oh and rumours a recently shut pub is turning into a mosque. This is unnaceptable of course.

The group really makes me dislike where I live...

We've had warnings about carol singing gipsies recently. That really kicked off.

We had a post in ours recently asking if the postman had been yet (it was late in the day). There was about 80 comments discussing the postman and his arrival time. Half the people were complaining he's too late and half sticking up for him.

We've also had Christmas cards being relocated lately, dog poo and photos of dodgy vans going round the village.

We seem to get a weekly posts of:

Phone lost whilst out on the piss,
Photo of found bank card (all details fully visible),
Photo of found cat that probably was just minding it's own business and not lost in the first place,
Someone moaning about DPD/Hermes/Yodel.

It's currently all about "Does anyone know where Santa is? when will he be down our road? have we missed Santa?" as the local Rotary Santa is doing his rounds on the back of a tractor (very sweet).

The annual "when do we put our bins out over christmas" question has already started

Parking. Youths. And anyone who lives in my village will instantly recognise this: a cat who went in all the shops and pubs in the village centre but she sadly was run over and killed a week or so ago.

Everyone moaning about amazon parcels!

The dog is lost - emergency! Two minutes later...dog found.

Parking over a pavement, and constant short power cuts.

The most exciting topic on mine at the moment is the news that a pair of glasses has been found in the supermarket car park.

We had one earlier ‘I have had a parcel delivered for number x village road if you are on here?’

Surely would have been easier to just take it down to them?

Oh and we had uproar by one cat owner who did a shouty post accusing of people stealing her cat as they were feeding it. I think we ended up with about 150 (mostly pisstaking) posts

Passive aggressive moaning about bad parking

Repatriation of misdelivered post and parcels

Loose livestock

The worlds most technophobic courier looking for non-logical addresses

At the moment it's dog poo.

A few months ago it was window cleaners. That ended up in the topic of window cleaning being banned from the group, due to the arguments and name calling it caused. wishes she'd never agreed to be admin