If something HUGE was to happen ..

[MaDuggar]

... how long could you survive with what you have in your house right now?

Do you have any tins/bottled water etc put away in case of a emergency?

Have been frealing myself out reading some wacky conspiray sites (all baging on about something huge happeneing in the next 2 weeks) - Im not be;lieveing it, but it has made me think that one day there could be an event and I probably would only last a week with my store cupboard!

Have you seen that zombie film with Will Smith? It's very sad. He had to kill his dog. His only friend.

I'm not sure if I'm resilient enough to be honest.

I might just opt for surrendering to a quick death. Don't know if I've got the will to go on, what with the impending shortage of gin and slimline tonic, and I'm not good with violence generally. Not even with my leaf blower. I don't know if I'll have enough fight in me. It's just a long drawn out death with no chocolate, surely? We win the first battle but exist in a world of misery with nowhere to get a good blowdry.

And how will I feel come July 9th 2011, when, surrounded by a parched post-apocolyptic wasteland, looking like a crazed old hag, oozey pustules, no teeth, pubes down to my knees, six inch long grey roots, broken nails due to the bow and arrow action, I realise that today was the day I should have been seeing Take That and Robbie?

No! No! Leave me! Save yourselves. I'll only be a burden. The day they come for me I'll run myself through the heart with my own sword, and but I'll text you first to tell you the whereabouts of my well, and my neighbours livestock. You can have my homemade Christmas puds as well, and I gift you my extensive festive bauble collection.

further to that I fully support the communist aspect on board SSApocalypto - as long as i can shcmooze with the elite/gang of four/ upper echelon party members

Who are they ladyfirenze? If one of them is me I might rethink my last post.

fellationelson

you are coming at this all wrong. Come 2011, if you've played your cards right, you could be in the Tankeray factory, with a lifetime supply of tonic (or you may have seen sense and switched over to ginger beer with yer gin)

The outside gates will be shored up against unwanted visitors, and the Take That lads, being so gratefull, for the daring kidnappingrescue you executed, that they will be taking it in turn to sing to/shag you (all in the interests of moral, and restoration of the human race etc etc)

We can discuss finer points (water supplies, vit c, power source for gin factory et etc) when you regain your will to live

yes! ok. we'll be at least half of them. if scattermummy is watching - she can be one. that leaves you one to choose and we're set for a hypothetical bloodless coup..

Ok, well now you put it like that, consider my will fully regained. Do I get to shag all of them, or do I have to choose? I can take or leave Mark Owen to be honest, so if anyone else wants him he's free.

Oh I can't choose - it's too hard. We are all so worthy in our way. It might have to be Mrs Bear because she'll have lots of useful kit and insider information, but it might have to go to a proper election campaign on the warship. Proper democracy and all that.

I am a little worried, having read the Christmas thread that Fellatio started, that some kind of skill in decoration making or cake icing will be demanded.

Am I ruled out if I admit to not being able to make my own crackers?

hmm agreed. in fact, seeing as we'll be making the laws, mark fannyrat owen can be given all the horrid jobs (peak knocker for example or masticating used sanitary products for recycling)

sorry, but how is democracy going to help our benign fascist dictatorship communist cause?

Wait, when did we decide on a democracy? Cuz, ya know, that's working so well for the UK and the US right now.

Dictatorship is the way to go. I shall make the ultimate sacrifice and agree to be Dictator.

Tee, that's very kind. If you wanted to be a puppet leader I could be your invisible string puller.

::add's ladyfirenze to her 'better off dead' list::

Sorry, did you say something, ladyfirenze? I was working on my survival plan and wasn't listening.

random apostrophe there.

I've been a fool -

this is what we need - it's freeze-dried which means it'll never go off.

and it's small packages, which means we can stock pile loads and loads of it!

(oh, and with the political debate - the leader should be MaDuggar, cos it was her idea and whoever it was that invented the Oh Fuck Ruck Sack)

::adds 2 more to her 'Better Off Dead' List::

Oh, absolutely nickelbang.

have no bottled water (but lots of juice / cordial)

so long as my tap worked i could survive for ages (just without milk)

i make my own bread and could have nutritous and nice and normal meals for at least 2 weeks, would be down to tuna pasta and jam /baked beans on toast then but could curvive on that for several more weeks

I have a celler full of tins etc so never run out of tinned tomatoes / beans / washing up liquid and anything else i can keep down there

I just discover a single can of tuna in the back of the kitchen cupboard, so I can bring that along, if y'all like.

We have loads of mrs Beetons & similar! We also have loads of pickle/chutney/large bottles of vinegar.

I've just been and bought a months worth of food for 4 people in dried and canned form. DH is abroad and sighed a sort of patronising "if it makes you feel better" approval of the hoarding.

The Tesco lady asked if I was having a party. With value meatballs, rice, pasta, tuna, tinned spinach, and carrots??? What kind of shite party is that??? I threw in some brownies, but they wont keep, so I'll eat them later.

Roffle at toddler's chav party menu. Every week a checkout operator asks if I'm having a party. I think I just buy an obscene amount of alcohol and pringles.

sorry meant to be toddler's not toddlers

Fuckwit, me.

you can freeze brownies, so we can eat them before the power goes off (actually, if we stoclpile diesel fuel, we'll be able to run the generators for ages, so that's fine)

brownies will be nice with the Ben and Jerry's we've already got.

stockpile

(i had spellcheck on firefox beta until it made me go back to firefox 3 so that I could get the upgrades :( )