I just burnt my toast. AMA.

[Purplevioletsherbert]

I’m happy to share whatever insights might be helpful.

Can’t believe he slept in and left me to fend for myself. Selfish twat. Doesn’t matter that he’s taken on my son as his own, works hard to provide for us and put a roof over our head, AND sleeps on the sofa when I’ve been poorly so I can get a good night sleep.

Sorry we can’t all be as wonderful as you.

Also, Did you have Teddy Robinson watching the toast?

(Teddy Robinson being a character in a children's book, who is tasked with watching the toast, and watches it turning from white to brown to black, and remarks that it makes an interesting smell.)

Does it matter if I’ll enjoy the pain?

I need more details but refuse to use common sense and google it for myself can someone tell me everything please.

Did you start the Great Fire of London?

It was believed to have started in a baker's shop.

Teddy Robinson is Deborah's sentient bear. Mummy puts toast under the grill, and asks Teddy Robinson to watch the toast, which he does, as it burns. A little bird comes in, and thinks it's very smoky in the kitchen. Later, mummy comes back, and screams with horror that she forgot about the toast. Teddy Robinson replies proudly that he hadn't forgotten it, and had been watching it all the time.

Have you considered this might be a symptom of ADHD? Obviously I'm not about to diagnose on the basis of one incident, but it might be worth considering

Have you apologised on WhatsApp street chat to your neighbours for setting off alarm?

RTFT, didn’t set off an alarm.

I’ve strongly considered this actually.

HA! he reeled you in, and now his mask is slipping........

Love cold burnt toast with loads of butter!

Classic narcissist.

Not a fan of it burnt but yes, the optimal temperature for toast is COLD AF. Who wants melted butter and soggy toast? Gross.

I was on your side OP but now I think YABU. Warm buttery non burnt toast is the way forward.

Do you have children because if you do I think you should report yourself to SS tbh.

I do not believe this happened.
You are a liar.

Also, what colour was the toaster?

If you have concerns about my post then report it. No troll hunting.

toaster does not exist.

I've just nearly wet the bed at that diagram😂OP you should definitely work I graphic design if you don't already😂

Tiger bread? Don't you realise that tigers are an endangered species?

It's your own fault for buying tiger bread. Disgusting stuff. Just the smell in the shop turns my stomach. What's wrong with you?

Also, is your name by any chance Alfred?

You must be peri menopausal OP, go to GP just to be safe

The sound of my childhood, toast being scraped.

Did it taste good?

This thread is hilarious! Thanks for cheering up a rainy bank holiday.