I just burnt my toast. AMA.

[Purplevioletsherbert]

I’m happy to share whatever insights might be helpful.

🤣🤣

Have you tried toasting m&s bunny crumpets? I think they are a bit stodgy

I was so concerned that I called 999 to report the post, unfortunately my phone was upside down and I called 666, now I have an exorcism to deal with on Easter Monday of all days.

However now that you disclose that there is no toaster, I am vindicated…

😂😂😂

@coldcallerbaiter

"I was so concerned that I called 999 to report the post, unfortunately my phone was upside down and I called 666, now I have an exorcism to deal with on Easter Monday of all days."

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think it rather cruel of posters to make jokes at the expense of the OP. More sympathy should be shown to someone who obviously has a serious heating disorder.

Toast is best when it's toasted to just before the point of burning. Left to cool then a thick slab of salted butter sat on top.

I am probably the funniest person I know, so it’s only fair.

Agree. Thankfully the Asda shop is coming tonight with a fresh loaf.

Excellent post OP!

I once tried to toast a croissant in a premier inn. Nearly burnt the place down. Really should have took notice of the no croissants sign next to the toaster.

Has anyone else noticed, that early on in the thread the OP made the very revealing statement “But this morning I got distracted”, and that since then, there has been absolutely no reference to this diversion of her attention away from toasting procedure ?

Whilst acknowledging that what the OP does in the privacy of her own kitchen is her own business (we are, after all, all grown-ups here) may we at least know a little more.

I suggest OP, that you give a brief hint or outline of the distraction, so as to prevent sordid speculation, because we all know Mumsnet can be a Petri-dish for guesswork, conjecture, unfounded rumour and conspiracy theories.

Was it a distraction of cosmic dimension or simply something more mundane such as the Orcado delivery truck crashing into your front living room after brake failure?

Thanks in anticipation.

@Itoosurvive I commend your attention to detail!

So, after placing the toast under the grill, I would normally potter in the kitchen and make a cup of tea, and get my son’s medication ready for when he wakes up (I pour him a glass of water in a Harry Potter cup that has a dome shaped bottom, so I then put his medication under that dome so the cat doesn’t get to it, and leave it on the side).

Normally my son doesn’t wake until much later if left to sleep, so I was expecting a peaceful half an hour at least. Alas, he awoke! Which meant a complete switch from my morning routine to his, meaning ensuring he went straight to the toilet, removed his pull up, took his medication, and then he had the audacity to engage me in conversation. He’s a right charming lad. Completely dropped the ball on the grill situation.

@Purplevioletsherbert You out-detailed me !

Well, it's certainly a plausible story, but personally I'd have preferred a few more car chases and a bit of time travel and maybe a shoot-out or two.

But thank you for the considered reply and may I be the first person this year to wish you a merry breakfast.

Follow up question for you with regards to that chart - what would your preferred level of toastiness be?

Also, how long would you normally toast your bread for, and how long did you leave it toasting this time?

@Purplevioletsherbert , there is another bank holiday coming up , do you intend to cement your burning toast ritual by doing it again tomorrow.
If so I may have to report you to the rspct

D5 for sure. I don’t time it, I wing it, much with most things in my life.

Avoiding toast at all costs. Can’t deal with the trauma.

But toast is the best thing since ummm err aww sodding hell I forgotten the rest of that phrase

good to see you're playing it safe against the dangers of acrylamide

https://wintoncentre.maths.cam.ac.uk/news/how-dangerous-burnt-toast/

It's a potential death trap.

btw I hope you haven't misgendered your grill, that's a hate crime in some places.

Both OP’s DH and toaster sound abusive.

This entire thread has triggered me.

OP, please make use of the the 30 minutes free legal advice everyone is entitled, get your ducks in a row, gather paperwork and make sure you screenshot the burnt toast in case the toaster denies it.

All the best hun xx