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I’m a big family mummy

334 replies

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 13:35

So whist talking to a random mum at soft play she was surprised at our “big family” 9 children (full time custody of 3 step children) l. Never thought of us as a big family lol but ask away

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RisingSunn · 09/08/2022 22:38

The snarky comments are so weird.
Just ask the OP your question.

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TheDuchessOfMN · 09/08/2022 22:46

How often do you do grocery shopping, and how much does it cost?

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Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 22:49

PearlClutch · 09/08/2022 21:03

Ach, you were making fair points, up until the old pearl clutching insult!

Ultimately we need both legislative AND personal efforts. The two are indivisible, in a sense.

@PearlClutch but you named yourself in my honour! So counting it as a win

However, fair enough, it’s maybe an unhelpful phrase.

We need both individual and policy level, I agree to a degree, but we need to be very realistic about what will affect real change too and that often means countering “individual responsibility” narrative, not because it’s got no validity but it’s already way over represented in the conversation especially in the UK. Telling people how wrong they are is great, but as you pointed out -vaguely or directly insulting people doesn’t win many over to the cause, and even if it did it would take more time than we’ve got for it to show up in the climate stats. The world was basically locked down for a year, and despite temporary improvements, it barely moved the needle of CO2 levels in the medium term. We need to do something big. And god knows @Devonmum2022 has enough to be doing without putting this on her plate too.

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HermioneKipper · 09/08/2022 22:57

How do you find the time to give any of them individual attention?

Not trying to be snarky. I really struggle with this with 3 of them!

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LilacPoppy · 09/08/2022 22:58

@emmathedilemma I have 8 children, they do stagecoach, brownies, rainbows, kids church club, youth club, boys brigade, swimming lessons, run for the county and air cadets. Three activities per child weekly.

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Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 23:01

😥just settled my big girls and come back . I honestly never meant to offend people or p* people off

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ScreechingEchoChamber · 09/08/2022 23:04

You didn't, OP. While you were away, people had arguments discussions. Smile

FWIW, most of the comments weren't/aren't - I don't think - directed at you personally.

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Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 23:06

venus7 · 09/08/2022 19:07

Ecofascitic? You do know, presumably, what fascism means?

@venus7 I do know what fascism means. Do you understand what eco fascism is? and why I am referring to it in the context of this conversation? Here’s a link to an explanation just in case you’re not familiar with the term- Eco fascism I disagree with this ethos, a lot of overpopulation arguments were made popular by people in this movement for fascist reasons, and I think the arguments they made were flawed based on the evidence we have now.

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Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 23:08

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 23:01

😥just settled my big girls and come back . I honestly never meant to offend people or p* people off

@Devonmum2022 its not you! This forum has a life of its own. There are some really interesting questions in among all the arguments as well.

People aren’t really offended, they’re just up on their soap boxes!

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Thinkingblonde · 09/08/2022 23:21

YRGAM · 09/08/2022 21:12

It amazes me how horrible people on this website can be

Me too. Some very judgmental people on here.

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Lacey247 · 09/08/2022 23:28

I’m one of 11 children. 9 sisters and one brother. All biological siblings

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PurpleEllie · 09/08/2022 23:29

@Devonmum2022 you sound like a lovely mum who is well able to provide for all your children. Ignore those who can't, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.

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EmmaC78 · 09/08/2022 23:44

I think you sound like a great mum too OP. Don't take the comments to heart it's easy for people to make judgemental comments from the safety of their laptop.

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venus7 · 09/08/2022 23:51

Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 23:06

@venus7 I do know what fascism means. Do you understand what eco fascism is? and why I am referring to it in the context of this conversation? Here’s a link to an explanation just in case you’re not familiar with the term- Eco fascism I disagree with this ethos, a lot of overpopulation arguments were made popular by people in this movement for fascist reasons, and I think the arguments they made were flawed based on the evidence we have now.

Just because the arguments were flawed- deeply flawed- doesn't mean overpopulation is not a real and pressing problem. The idea is not responsible for the people who believe in, and skew it for their own, highly suspect reasons. The only reason to question controlling population growth is capitalism.

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shinynewapple22 · 09/08/2022 23:57

@venus7 "We would need fewer taxpayers, carers etc if there were fewer to take care of."

The issue is the age profile of the current population - more over 60s and far less children who will grow up to be the tax payers of the future .

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shinynewapple22 · 10/08/2022 00:00

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 23:01

😥just settled my big girls and come back . I honestly never meant to offend people or p* people off

Don't worry @Devonmum2022 at least 50% of posters on MN find something to be offended at around any topic .

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Notbeforemycoffeeplease · 10/08/2022 00:03

Some people are very nasty, no wonder this site gets a bad rep. Just ask your question, why be so rude? I wouldn’t want that many children, I was also pretty shocked that the OP initially said she didn’t think of theirs as a big family but I don’t feel the need to berate or belittle the woman.

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Leafy3 · 10/08/2022 00:09

RE vasectomy I did offer to do it myself but he was less keen

Sorry, @Devonmum2022 , you offered to conduct his vasectomy yourself? No wonder he turned you down! 😂

Seriously though, you sound incredible and can't wait to see more of your answers!

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Silverswirl · 10/08/2022 00:14

Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 16:10

@Lillith111 living up to your handle there I see! no surprise you were banished from the garden 😉

We’re going to need people to fix the planet, so having plenty of children is a good thing. We are also going to need tax payers and carers and medical staff to be nice to us when we get too old or sick to take care of ourselves. I’m sure all of “the world is overpopulated” won’t mind going to the back of the queue given they would be happier if said carers, medics and tax payers never existed?

@Devonmum2022 sounds like hectic fun! You must be incredibly organised- do you find you have to do a lot of pre planning?

Exactly. I will be looking to the ‘selfish you had more than 2 children’ brigade to get to the back of the queue for care and medical attention when they reach 75+
The majority of us need to be having at least 3 children AT LEAST in order for the population not to decline enough in 50 -70 years to be a serious serious problem.

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mamabear715 · 10/08/2022 00:38

@YRGAM Totally agree.
OP & @Foxglovesandlilacs86 you both sound great mummies!
I have seven children, all my own, grown up now, just the three left at home. They are the light of my life. :-)
Oddly, as @Foxglovesandlilacs86 says, I never had the conversation either, 'should I have a big family or should I save the planet'? FFS!! Why does everyone on MN have to conform to some odd way of thinking? People are different - what suits one won't suit another. But a lot of folk here can't seem to accept that..

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Itsbritneybitch22 · 10/08/2022 00:47

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 23:01

😥just settled my big girls and come back . I honestly never meant to offend people or p* people off

@Devonmum2022

You could post a kitten and a cupcake and it would offend or piss someone off on here, don’t worry ❤️

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honeyrider · 10/08/2022 01:01

TeapotTitties · 09/08/2022 17:16

I come from a very large Irish family and I can honestly say, nearly all the eldest ones (out of cousins etc) left between the ages of 16-18.

They couldn't wait to get out, get their own space, and not have to help raise their siblings.

I'm the eldest of 9 biological siblings and left home at 17 and that was before the youngest was born. At least I had my own bedroom and had some chance of privacy.

Having had plenty of conversations with others from big families over the years none went on to have big families themselves apart from one of my younger sisters and one striking thing we noticed is how the mothers would claim to have spent regular one to one time with each child when the reality was it was a rare event.

The older ones like myself were left to pick up the slack and missed out on a childhood. No way was I inflicting that on my two children. Most of my siblings have one or two children, one had three and one has six.

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Tabbouleh · 10/08/2022 04:13

I don't think the OP has time to answer the non-climate change related questions But 6 schools does my head in.

Don't even know what to say to "We need more people to fix the planet" argument. Sure.

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Pumasonsatsumas · 10/08/2022 04:40

Yes. I'm getting on so I don't know if I'll be able to have many more, but I love the idea of lots x

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Pumasonsatsumas · 10/08/2022 04:41

Ah that was in reply to @Louise0701

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