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I’m a big family mummy

334 replies

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 13:35

So whist talking to a random mum at soft play she was surprised at our “big family” 9 children (full time custody of 3 step children) l. Never thought of us as a big family lol but ask away

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smartiesnskittles · 11/08/2022 15:21

You mentioned the step children going into care a few times. Obviously your husband would look after his biological kids since mum can't rather than care? And surely that was a potential factor in family planning?

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JanisMoplin · 11/08/2022 15:37

Yes, I didn't understand the care thing either.

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wellhelloitsme · 11/08/2022 17:37

@Devonmum2022

My 3 step children we took full custody of after getting together as their mum was finding it tough and we’re about to go into care.

How did it get anywhere near the stage they were 'about to go into care' if your husband is a decent dad?

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Devonmum2022 · 11/08/2022 22:51

So I will obv be careful what I say so it isn’t to “outing” but their mum did a disappearing act for a while and was taking a lot of drugs, drink and the boys women do to do with it…. we tried to track them down (she was letting us see them but we couldn’t find where they were). As we went to solicitors for custody SS we’re also trying to remove them. I was pregnant just before she met the absolute idiot bloke who turned her to all this and if I’d known we’d absolutely not have had more.

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wellhelloitsme · 11/08/2022 23:20

Devonmum2022 · 11/08/2022 22:51

So I will obv be careful what I say so it isn’t to “outing” but their mum did a disappearing act for a while and was taking a lot of drugs, drink and the boys women do to do with it…. we tried to track them down (she was letting us see them but we couldn’t find where they were). As we went to solicitors for custody SS we’re also trying to remove them. I was pregnant just before she met the absolute idiot bloke who turned her to all this and if I’d known we’d absolutely not have had more.

It sounds like he left it a long time before engaging a solicitor to fight for custody? Especially considering they were with someone unsafe who was attempting parental alienation. What's done is done though.

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JanisMoplin · 12/08/2022 04:04

See, even if their mum was great and able to care for them, I can't imagine already having a total of 7 children between you and deciding to go for 9.

My gran had 8 children but she was an Indian woman in the 1940s with no reliable contraception. Every one of the 8 has only had 2 or 1. I can't get my head around women in 2022- with climate change, cost of living, war- taking on that load. You make it sound very ' Sound of Music" but I do not believe it is. Even if only half of them want to go to uni, how will you cover that?

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Marvellousmadness · 20/08/2022 05:59

You can't give so many children proper individual attention. Do you ever consider yourself selfish for wanting so many?

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LilacPoppy · 20/08/2022 11:32

@Marvellousmadness many people use nannies or other childcare 7-6 Monday to Friday and a lot longer for nannies. How much lost attention is that.

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Highfivemum · 22/08/2022 11:24

some of the comments are so frustrating. I have 6 DC and yes that is our choice and we love our large family as do our DC. They get attention and lots of it. I am fortunate at the moment due to husbands job to be a SAHM and my DC never want for anything. They always have someone to play with. I am always around for them. To say they don’t get attention is wrong. So a family with 2 DC who go to work and drop Dc of a child minders/ nursery etc get more attention then mine. ??? No they get others attention but no parents. My DH and I are both hands on. We include or Dc in everything and so no they are not missing out in attention. Each families are different. I know one family at school who have 1 DC and they have little interest in the DC and both work long hours and holiday without the DC. So each family is different whether big or small. Good luck OP

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