I am a Mumsnet expert AMA!

[nuttybiscuit]

I am officially well endowed with the knowledge.

Can I still display twiggy shit?

Tell all about the high sift please.

@KloppsTeeth

What angle is best to display a stunt pineapple? Should they be upright, or at an angle in a fruit bowl? Please advise oh wise one.

according to a recent Swingers ama in chat upside down for your pineapple!

How many ducks are in a row?

What is your husband’s obscure and outing hobby?

My garden is terraced, with 3 distinct areas of patio. The brickwork is rather pretty. AIBU to be able to select which one to dig up for DH when he leaves one more (#%&(%# drawer wide open?

What can be done about spoony fuckers?

Can you please demonstrate a ‘tinkly little laugh’?

Should I cancel the cheque?

Should I cancel the cheque?

How do you strike that delicate balance between being kind to your cleaner, but also making sure she knows her place?

Who is more evil, a Tory MP or a GP's receptionist?

When will people realise that grey walls are over, and navy pretty much is, too?

Is "Cressida" smart or a bit nouveau?

Which of these is the average MNer least likely to own - a DH on 6 figures, a Yankee candle, an ancient Barbour, a mud-spattered Land Rover with a 2005 reg?

Who is she-who-must-not-be-named? And what is that fishy smell?

Out yourself with a hobby. I DARE you!

Can you post a diagram?

And where have the creepy wee brackets gone?

How do I head tilt in the correct manner, to achieve maximum Mumsnet superiority?

And while we’re at it what is this?

UCM is that you ?

@RockinHorseShit

What is the vegan alternative to "Naice Ham" ?

Naice Sham.

Jolly well done @Bytrgrewd

Wow. Just wow.

What is the correct amount of times per week to clean house/change bed sheets/shower/wash hair ?

Is there anything we shouldn't Google?

Ooh I know that one!

What are you wearing today ?
What's going on in your house right now?
I hate my interfering MIL . What can I do ?

Whatever happened to Phyllis?