Trigger warning - I've had 4 terminations for non-medical reasons AMA

[Schnorkmaiden]

I'd like to explain the reason why I did and hope that people won't be too cruel but either way - I do know the reasons I did were right for me at the time.

thanks for letting me know - hmm, interesting.

Studying, of course it doesn’t have to be the case that “you’re pro choice or you’re not”,

Quite a few people on here say they are overall pro-choice, but that they also think that with that right comes the responsibility to cover yourself as much as possible against having to make that choice in the first place. There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking this way. It does NOT have to be black and white.

Clearly it isn’t totally black and white for you either or you would not feel guilty over one of your abortions, woukd you?

How do you expect the “judgey doctors” to act? Their job is actually to save the lives of babies and their mothers in labour yet one of their roles is to do the opposite. Whether you’re pro-choice on the whole or not as a doctor, that must be really very difficult for them to deal with. I’m sure most of them just want to do a the best job they can professionally but do you really expect them to offer you congratulations and give you a smile when it’s over?

I think it's Voltaire I will misquote here - "I may hate what you say, but I'll die for your right to say it". I feel like that about abortion. I am pro choice. I may not like why you choose to have one, but I believe wholeheartedly that it's your right to make that choice.

So to take it back to the OP - there's nothing I'd ask. I don't think it's anyone else's business why you've had four abortions. Those choices were yours to make.

I had my abortion in a BPAS clinic, the only people who were nice was the lady serving the meals, and the man who put me under anaesthetic.
Everyone else was rude, abrupt and treated me like a horrid schoolgirl who needed punishing and was on a conveyor belt.
There was no need for it.
Why work there if you have no compassion?

@CurlyhairedAssassin it is black and white tho. You believe it’s a woman’s choice to carry on with a pregnancy, or it’s not.
The guilt was actually due my indecisiveness, rather than the decision it’s self. I felt bad for the extra 4 weeks I carried on with the pregnant when I knew really I should of terminated sooner.
I would never expect a congratulations no. I would expect a doctor to do the job at hand and not let personal feelings/ beliefs be known tho

How do you expect the “judgey doctors” to act? Their job is actually to save the lives of babies and their mothers in labour yet one of their roles is to do the opposite.

I don't agree. Their job - in all circumstances - is to act in the best interests of the patient and with her full and informed consent.

Natalia explained what I was trying to say perfectly, much better than I did. I want the choice to be there but I don’t think i have to like the reasons why people make the choice.

The thing is though, Natalia, I think all it takes is for a couple of doctors to sign something that basically accepts a woman’s claim that having that baby woukd be harmful for her mental health and that’s it, abortion approved.

I’m guessing that the “harmful to my mental health” claim for SOME women is purely a tick box exercise to ensure they get it approved.

I don’t think i have to like the reasons why people make the choice.

100% agree. I think this is why people tie themselves up in knots with illogical arguments like "abortion is wrong unless there's been rape" and suchlike. If you believe something is a right, then you have to accept that in all circumstances. Free speech means people can say things you don't agree with. Democracy means people can cast their vote for reasons you think are stupid/I'll informed. The right to bodily autonomy and abortion means some women will choose to end a pregnancy in circumstances you wouldn't.

Sorry, Curly, we are having a time delayed conversation!

I'm pretty hardcore on this. I believe in abortion on demand. For any reason. I think anything else is contrary to a woman's right to bodily autonomy; nothing trumps that for me. Any right to life (that's another question, I know, but let's assume it) cannot involve the right to use another's body. I accept that means someone may decide to abort in circumstances I find abhorrent.

I don’t think i have to like the reasons why people make the choice.

Absolutely.

@IHaveBrilloHair
Maybe they had more compassion for your unborn child they had to kill? I dunno. Unless there are extenuating circumstances your choice was very wrong IMO.

@Schnorkmaiden I am booked on for a termination for next week. How did you cope with the bleeding once the process had started?

Well AhoyDelBoy,
Rather silly of them to take a job in a private abortion clinic.
You say unless there were 'extenuating circumstances'.
What are those?

I am personally pro life. However Im not here to condemn your decisions. Good God no women ever 'wants' an abortion. Most of the the they didn't want to be pregnant in the first instance.
Yes they may not have been medical reasons why made the choices you did but. They were rea sons none the less.

A mothers place is in the wrong.

If the op had had her 5 dcs and was now neglecting them she’d get flamed.