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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not pay this invoice from nursery?

225 replies

PayOrNotToPay · 12/11/2026 14:27

Bit of background, my DDs old nursery was terrible with invoicing, it was constantly late, not correct, things missing or added that shouldn't have been, free hours not calculated properly etc...

There were a lot of complaints from parents at the time about their accounting and how rubbish it was.

I have recently received an invoice from them for some apparent ad hoc days that DD did and they are chasing me for payment.... However, DD left the nursery 2 years ago, she is in school now, year 1!

They chased me for payment again and have given a couple of vague dates in 2024 when apparently DD was in when she wasn't usually.

AIBU to just ignore this or tell them I'm not paying? I have no idea if she was in those days but this just tallies with how crap they were at proper accounting, 2 years later?! I don't trust them enough to just blindly pay it and I've no way of really checking now after this much time that it's accurate.

AIBU to think sorry after 2 years it's your own fault and they should let it go?

OP posts:
sunflower85 · 12/11/2026 16:03

Springtimeinsunshine · 12/11/2026 15:43

You can still see edited posts you know. Were you referring to the part where I said OP needs to be sure the nursery wasn't confusing her child with another? It does unfortunately happen.

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Yeah, sorry, no idea how I managed it but I somehow quoted the wrong post and my response looked absolutely mental. If I could’ve deleted I would!

Thechickenhasmypillow · 12/11/2026 16:04

I'd ask for evidence of attendance and put the ball back in their court.

Neuronimo · 12/11/2026 16:05

Would you have noted anything on your phone calendar? I don't think I'd pay withour some proof.

Thechickenhasmypillow · 12/11/2026 16:06

I pressed send too soon!
They must have registers, records of who dropped off and collected, incidents etc. If they can't provide that how can they be certain the invoices are correct?

ColinISabirthdaycake · 12/11/2026 16:09

OP they can come after you for 5 years if you are in Scotland and 6 years if you are in E&W.

But I would do what pp's have said, and say that they need to (a) prove your DD was in on those days and (b) that you haven't already paid.

And then wait to see if they actually do or they are taking the mick.

Sartre · 12/11/2026 16:11

I’d be requesting proof that she actually attended on those days and that you failed to pay. I can almost guarantee they won’t be able to provide it.

mybiggreenfrog · 12/11/2026 16:11

I'd tell them I'm not paying and why

Glowingup · 12/11/2026 16:12

To the people mentioning Google map history does this mean you have location tracking on all the time? Why? Do you not worry about the fact that someone could potentially see where you are now and where you were every single day forever? I just can’t see any advantage to that whatsoever. I checked whether my tracking was on but thankfully it isn’t.

ColinISabirthdaycake · 12/11/2026 16:12

I don't have a personal diary either but I could look at my work calendar and it would be easy to go back two years to see if I was on leave or working on the days they've said. But that's as far as I would take it. If they want the money, they need to prove the OP owes it.

ColinISabirthdaycake · 12/11/2026 16:13

Glowingup · 12/11/2026 16:12

To the people mentioning Google map history does this mean you have location tracking on all the time? Why? Do you not worry about the fact that someone could potentially see where you are now and where you were every single day forever? I just can’t see any advantage to that whatsoever. I checked whether my tracking was on but thankfully it isn’t.

I turned that off years ago!

stuffedanimalsandchocolate · 12/11/2026 16:13

Even if you don't have records, they should have them

If they can prove that your DD was there on those days and you haven't already paid for them, you'll have to pay

Springtimeinsunshine · 12/11/2026 16:14

Passaggressfedup · 12/11/2026 16:02

Legally, they can chase through the court up to 6 months. If they can evidence that you dd was there (through their own diary etc...) that she was there, you do owe them the money. Stating that they were rubbish at invoicing is not an excuse to refuse to pay in law.

If it escalate to bailiffs or court, you'll be expected to pay the additional fees which can quickly escalate.

Even if she was there, can they prove OP hadn't already paid considering their accounts are a mess. She might have paid it 3 months later when they issued a corrected invoice.

@sunflower85 Fair enough, it's horrible when that happens Flowers

Oxaloacetate · 12/11/2026 16:14

redskyAtNigh · 12/11/2026 15:19

If OP put her daughter in nursery for an ad-hoc day there will be a reason for it. It tends to be quite difficult to book ad-hoc days as nurseries are full. Maybe she was asked to work (in which case there will be a record at work); maybe she had a personal engagement (in which case there's likely a message trail of it being organised; and potentially photos or social media posts).

I have 2 children who spent 4 years each in nursery. i can remember that in that time the older child had precisely 2 ad-hoc sessions and the youngest had none. They are now both in their 20s and I can tell you roughly when the oldest child's ad-hoc sessions were. If I went looking for old messages I could find the exact days.

OP mentions that the accounting at the nursery was awful, so it seems rather odd that she didn't check everything extremely carefully at the time. But she's not saying that. She's saying "they can't expect me to pay after 2 years, can they?".

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Why should she hunt all this down though? They can send her proof or they can swallow the results of their poor accounting.

Bountyhunter888 · 12/11/2026 16:14

Easy way round that, email them and ask them to list all the sessions she EVER attended and the dates and all to list all the payments you made with the dates, for tax and accointing purposes they need to keep records going back 7 years, when they sent you this( which i doubt they will) you can argue the toss and ask them to prove that your child was in on the dates they suggest which they wont be able to do...your childs name on a register is not proof they attended,

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 12/11/2026 16:15

Glowingup · 12/11/2026 15:45

Really not normal to have memories of precisely when your children were in nursery as hoc 20 years ago but you’d be perfect as a witness in a cold case. What were you doing on the 3rd of June 1993? Well, funny you should ask but that day I a remember I had a dentist appointment.

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I think that's an oversimplification. Ad hoc nursery days are usually really difficult and only happen in extreme situations which are likely to stay in the memory. My DC is 16 and the only days I might have even asked for an ad hoc nursery day was the day of an elderly relative's funeral and the day I had to attend hospital as an outpatient to deal with the aftermath of a miscarriage. No idea what the dates were but if I was invoiced for ad-hoc days it would be possible to work out whether they were broadly credible as matching to these events. But there would definitely be written evidence of the booking - no nursery should be taking a child in for an extra ad-hoc day without a paper trail to prove it was asked for.

JustMyView13 · 12/11/2026 16:15

I would just reply and say: according to your records DD was not in nursery on the days stated, therefore you aren’t paying.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/11/2026 16:16

If you know you did sometimes do ac hoc days then you are in debt and need to pay

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 12/11/2026 16:17

redskyAtNigh · 12/11/2026 14:49

I'd want to pay if the charge was justified.

Is it really that hard to find out? You must remember DD's normal nursery pattern and whether it was usual for her to go in for ad-hoc days. And then you can just check your diary to see what you were doing on any days they've suggested. That will surely give you most of the answers?

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A diary from 2 years ago?

Swmk · 12/11/2026 16:17

GregoryFluff · 12/11/2026 15:51

Am I in the minority of having everything written down on an actual physical calendar in the kitchen? I could only tell you what I've done this year
I transfer all my photos onto a USB once a year to save Google storage and I clear my messages out every few months too
I'd find this totally unreasonable. If their accounting was that bad, you may well have paid already if she even did attend

I think you probably are.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/11/2026 16:17

Also, if they told me the dates I’d easily be able to check my calendar and see oh yes I did have plans that day, makes sense

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 12/11/2026 16:18

Just had a thought @PayOrNotToPay - most nurseries ask you for a deposit when you first register which is returned to you after your child leaves. Did this happen? If it did then that can reasonably be taken as evidence that all financial matters between you are concluded with no debts in either direction.

FurbySaysYummmm · 12/11/2026 16:20

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/11/2026 16:17

Also, if they told me the dates I’d easily be able to check my calendar and see oh yes I did have plans that day, makes sense

Proving her child attended on that day is not enough though. They also need to prove that at no point in the proceeding days, months or years she had been issued an invoice which included any extra days that was then paid.

Purplecatshopaholic · 12/11/2026 16:23

Franpie · 12/11/2026 15:09

I wouldn’t ignore it but I would ask them to provide proof that she attended those specific days and to also prove that you haven’t already paid for them.

Just keep putting the ball back in their court.

This. Of course I would pay it if I owe it, but after two years I’d want more evidence.

Acafan · 12/11/2026 16:23

ColinISabirthdaycake · 12/11/2026 16:09

OP they can come after you for 5 years if you are in Scotland and 6 years if you are in E&W.

But I would do what pp's have said, and say that they need to (a) prove your DD was in on those days and (b) that you haven't already paid.

And then wait to see if they actually do or they are taking the mick.

I was actually shocked to Google and see that this seems to be the case. I'd assumed there was a requirement for timely invoices. I'd be too embarrassed to issue an invoice two years after services rendered.

OP, you could try saying that when your deposit was returned, you took this as agreement from them your account with them was cleared and up to date. Definitely ask for proof (e.g. attendance registers) that your daughter was in on that date.

Original poster
PayOrNotToPay · 12/11/2026 16:25

FurbySaysYummmm · 12/11/2026 16:20

Proving her child attended on that day is not enough though. They also need to prove that at no point in the proceeding days, months or years she had been issued an invoice which included any extra days that was then paid.

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This is it as well.

I'm not necessarily saying for definite that DD wasn't there, I don't remember either way tbh. But if she was there I'd not be convinced that I hadn't paid this in some other invoice so it also includes going through all those too and as I've said, they were MESSY.

We used to joke (parents) that you needed a degree in maths just to make sense of them at the time. It was honestly terrible.

OP posts: