To think some women automatically see attractive women as a threat to their relationships?

Yes. It’s delusional.

It's him they don't trust but will direct the emotion towards the woman. Often making a fool of themselves whilst doing it.

I was once checking in for a flight. The woman in front was giving me the death stare. Her husband hadn't even looked me. I was seated next to them on the plane. When she saw it was me who'd be next to them she started making a fuss and swearing. She made her husband swap from the middle seat to the window as he wasn't ''going to be sitting next to her''. She practically spat that in my face. Husband still seemed clueless. Or maybe he'd been there before...many times.

A friend of mine used to say, ''Don't let another woman see your jealousy. They'll take it as a compliment''.

You said it yourself, doesn't mean we all fancy him. What people find attractive is subjective. If the OP keeps encountering this scenario and it's genuinely only because of her looks then maybe she's Angelina Jolie

I think you’re conflating modesty with self-deprecation. They’re not necessarily the same thing.

I'm not. Self deprecation tends to be the response to a compliment. Modesty is knowing yourself but choosing not to point it out.
I tend to agree with others who've suggested that spiky behaviour is more likely to be reflective of trust issues within a relationship. Sometimes it can be about tolerance too, women tend to be less tolerant of arrogance than men.

Do you dress in a way that might be seen by some people as trying to attract male attention, over and above your natural attractiveness? E.g. more revealing clothes or a more made-up look than the other women you're interacting with? Or are you unusually extraverted/friendly? That could be taken as flirtatiousness by some.

Attractive people tend to be aware of the fact without others needing to tell them; and quite often, people outside their family/relationships will say so.

Why wouldn't someone be able to identify that they are in fact attractive? Why wouldn't they be self-assured? I like seeing a woman who's attractive, knows it and owns it. I also like women are less/not attractive, but knows she's amazing in other ways and owns that too.

Too many women are insecure/unsure of themselves/ self-deprecating... Head up, shoulders back and make the best of what you are.

Yes but you can acknowledge someone is attractive (like my husband would say BP is) without fancying them (like my husband doesnt fancy BP). I think the same about Idris. He's obviously very attractive because of how his face looks, but I don't fancy him because there's something about him that isn't...sexy to me. Familiar but not sexy.

I’m not sure whether it’s about attractiveness but definitely since my 30s, women will come closer to their partners/husbands at events at stuff if I’d be talking to them

I think it’s maybe an age thing I dunno. I’d much rather not be cornered by some boring guy droning on usually about himself.

bit annoying tho because I definitely don’t want to jump Tom or Rob or Toby’s bones he’s actually boring me talking about a knife expensive knife set that he bought

The women in my family are very attractive, they have been paid for their looks. Over the last 3 generations, we have had a dancer, an actress and three who have worked as models. Two of them always said other women didn’t like them, that they felt threatened by their looks. They had to be the centre of attention. I always thought it was very much in their heads, personality wise they were very insecure, one had an eating disorder. They were also the two that had unsuccessful relationships.

I worked as a model and have had the best compliment of all other women telling me I’m attractive, who cares what a man thinks. Personality wise I’m down to earth, my husband says I’m a bit of a diamond in the rough because having had the stress of a work contract when young that monitored my weight and I was not allowed to cut my hair or anything without approval I rarely wear make up and do very basic grooming these days.

When it comes to women being single in a group setting then I know that can happen as outlined in posts. One of my friends divorced last year and she was shunned by her big friendship group in her village. Her husband left her and she was very much the innocent party as he had an affair. I invite her over to ours for lunch and still see her with DH in a little trio. One of my ex colleagues was a gorgeous woman when she was going through a bad time, fiancée dumped her just before the wedding she used to come to mine for dinner once a week, it’s how we became very good friends. It never crossed my mind she was a threat.

Some sure. But mostly I think it's when the "attractive" woman is flirtacious. So maybe look at how you interact with the men if you are consistently getting that reaction.

How should women interact with men? What behaviours are inappropriate?

Essentially don’t laugh or look like you’re having a good time
and don’t take of your appearance

@MyOpalTurtle see I do kindof agree with you in that women shouldn’t have to behave differently to not be perceived as a threat. And I don’t think normally women do have to do that. But, I’m saying this because you are having this as a repeated problem. Genuinely I have experienced this at some points as have most women (especially if single and attractive) but. And here’s the but. It happened so rarely that it was a that woman problem. Not a me problem. If it’s happening often for you, I can absolutely guarantee it’s a you problem. Especially as you say age doesn’t affect it. Because I can tell you after 25+ years of marriage for me and most of my friends. We don’t give a shit who is talking to our partners. We have deep trust and love. If you are giving vibes to other women. It’s a you problem. So yes. It’s your body language. Make some changes but if you’re intelligent then you’ll already know this and just not want to hear it.

I don’t know about “attractive” women. I am completely average in looks but have experienced this multiple times from women in relationships because I’m single. And apparently every, single woman is a threat.

Which makes me laugh. I think to myself “sweetheart I don’t want your man. I don’t even know why you want your man.”

I think we all know what flirting is, don't we? I don't feel it's necessary to explain.

I know many attractive women and they will not - consistently at least - get this reaction from women. I know other women who act flirtatiously with men, including married ones, and they tend to get the reaction the OP describes. I think it's more about that than looks. In my anecdotal experience.

That's not at all what I was saying and I think you are being deliverabtely obtuse. Well here's an example - a woman from school told my husband that she simply couldnt' believe he was married to me while she was smilling, and touching his arm and batting her eye lashes at him. I am not the jealous type in the slightest, and we had a good laugh about it, but I can see why that sort of behaviour will not be appreciated by other women.

I guess I am considered objectively attractive by some people, I used to model in my 20s obviously not now. I'm not a stunner but you know why I mean. I have never felt that other women think I'm a threat to 'their man'. I don't tend to talk to men alot if there are other women around as I prefer female friends and conversation so maybe that plays a part. Maybe it has to do with your behaviour?

I know I've been accused of flirting for simply interacting

This has been my experience- it is any woman that the man finds attractive. That is all that matters.

Obviously a more attractive woman is likely to get hit on I would think… I’m confused why so many posters disagree. Likewise we all live in a world in a culture with beauty standards. Is it outrageous if a conventionally attractive woman knows she is attractive? It’s so confusing to me - the responses of pp.

Ok, I wasn't there so have no idea if you were or weren't. Some people have a naturally more flirty way of conducting themselves, and some people are more "senstive" to what is flirting. I feel often the "tell" is whether the woman would interact the same way with the women as they do men. In either case you asked for an example and I gave one. As i say, I'm not really a jealous person, but OP asked and this is my experience (i.e. it's behavioural rather than to do with appearance) in why women are perceived the way she describes.

Yet you think other women should have to behave welcomingly to you, even if they've no interest in you or don't warm to you, otherwise you'll write them off as jealous? You are using the 'women shouldn't have to..' line rather selectively here in your own interests.
If you want to reserve the right to do as you please (as you should) then this extends to other women too, who can surely do as they please without your analysis and criticism.

So perhaps, much of the time, flirtatious behaviour is the subjective assessment of a complete outsider to the interaction. Party A isn't intending to flirt. Party B doesn't feel flirted with. But Party C still casts the interaction between A and B as flirting due to their own insecurities, desires, hopes or dreams.

I say this because I've had female friends who would swear blind that an interaction between me and someone else was flirtatious because they hope it was.

Maybe just stop leering at men and sucking your finger suggestively when you talk, OP. It’ll clear it all up.