To think some women automatically see attractive women as a threat to their relationships?

How can it not be true? We all know a lot of men (not all) think with what’s in their trousers. I guess their partners will understandably be wary!

Don’t worry op. You’ll get older. Also that only tends to happen in new first time acquaintances. Go out of your way to be friendly and inclusive of all partners. There are ways to appear unthreatening even when you’re smoking. It’s all body language and you’re maybe not aware or f yours. Not that I’m saying it’s up to you. But you can stop this. Just how much you want to.

I agree with you OP. I'm not sure of the driving force exactly, it may be insecurity about the relationship itself or another person's looks...but the change is palpable when meeting some folk solo as compared to meeting them with their partners. Something akin to protectiveness kicks in even without having interest in their partner, whatsoever.
I don't even want mine half the time...why would I want yours? (said lightheartedly)😂

I don't know any women who feel like this. I certainly don't.

OP writes that she is so goddam gawjus that her mere presence makes other woman feel ‘threatened’ and presents it as an opportunity to undermine those women for their insecurity.

The patriarchy lives. Yay.

That probably happens sometimes but why are you so invested in this question?

I noticed a strange hostility towards me from some women when I was slim and young (and attractive)
Luckily it went away after I had 3 more kids and morphed into an old frump

I was widowed at 40
My couple friends couldn't have been more welcoming if they tried.

My career (healthcare) allowed me to be in the company of people from lots of different demographics, and this particular behaviour was often present in people (both male and female) of low intelligence. Fights, often online, over stealing each others partners was commonplace, and it did not reflect attractiveness 😂
It's not something i've encountered in my social circles, even when stunningly attractive people are present.

I’ve said you’re not unreasonable but I also see it as more nuanced. I dont think it’s about the men.

i think some women feel threatened and immediately dislike women they perceive as attractive or more attractive than them.

Some Women compete with other women, they compare themselves, or they have their own hang ups about their looks or body, and if they see a woman they perceive as not having these issues, great hair, fit body, pretty face etc, it makes them jealous. Some of them want to attack the other women, verbally or physically,

jealousy, insecurity, are signficant issues for some, so I don’t think it’s about the men, or feeling you are after their partner, I think it’s a much wider and more nuanced issue.

I first experienced it as a young teen, a girl at school assaulted me and scratched my face up, very badly, the guidance teacher and head master said it was jealousy, i heard them say it to my parents, the guidance teacher said it to my face, I couldn’t understand why anyone would be jealous of me, I was the poor kid whose parents abused her, not that anyone knew that, but I knew that, so why would anyone be jealous of me, my life was shit.

it wasn’t until I was older, I understood, why rhe teachers had seen she’d clawed my face and assumed jealousy, we’ve also seen sporadic media reports of adult women who have done similar,

and I’ve had bitchy comments from women all my life, not my friends or family, but random women I don’t know, bitchy comments as I’ve passed them by,

generally though I talk to the women first, and I talk to them predominantly, so few think I’m after their blokes, or their blokes stand a chance.

curiously I now get a lot of compliments from younger women, admiring looks from them, compliments on my hair, clothes etc , women I don’t know, but seldom to never women my age.

women can be other women’s biggest supporter, I’m a woman’s woman, but there is no way round the fact, women can also be other women’s biggest enemy,

My suggestion was made purely as a pragmatic way to help you navigate the situations you say you don't like. It's all well and good saying how other women should be better, more trusting, sort their relationships out to spare you, but given you have no control over that, all you can do is manage the interaction.
After all, we are presumably talking about fairly superficial social situations with no long term investment on any side. So you don't really need to dwell too hard, simply be more comfortable in the moment.
Its not that hard to pay a woman more attention than her husband.

Definitely this. You're not the threat. The man is untrustworthy. Don't flatter yourself it's because you're so pretty/sexy. Men that that will shag a hole in the wall.

I think the crux is that people modestly would not describe themselves thus (ie proclaim "I'm successful" / "I'm intelligent"). Indeed people who would/do, generally aren't 😉😂

But again, when you talk about acknowledging your own attractiveness, you're assuming that it's a given. Physical attractiveness is far more subjective than intelligence or success.

Is this what the young people call a "humblebrag" ?

Have you ever heard of the term "conventionally attractive"?

Brad Pitt is/was conventionally attractive. Doesn't mean we all fancy him but it would be silly to say he's an ugly man (on the outside). I think Brad knows he is conventionally attractive.

This is quite bitchy, I’m sure the op is attractive, why the need to attack and pull her down as she’s honest about it,

Here in Scotland, we've always called such types a 'blaw' 😂 Short/vernacular term for blowhard.

Because just because there's an attractive woman in the room it doesn't mean every man wants her and every married woman is threatened by her

Well that's lovely for you, and I'm pleased to hear it, but not the experience of my friends who were both very hurt at how they were treated.

She clearly needs better friends. I hope she moved on from them

Some PEOPLE just see everyone else as competition. And some PEOPLE find self-validation in how successfully they perform gendered roles and thus the competition is always through a gendered lens.

I said people because yes, this happens among women but it also obviously happens among men as well. Have you never witnessed straight men when another man who's obviously very attractive enters the room?

Anyway, these people are extremely tiresome (and especially stupid too, in the case of the ones who validate themselves by how much of a man/woman they are) and the good news is that while I've certainly encountered them they're very much in the minority in my life. Find normal nice people to be friends with, problem solved.

(However I do find this funny in retrospect - in my 20s I wasn't that secure about my looks, I was scrawny and a bit alien looking. Looking back on old photos I was obviously youthful and gorgeous, just had no idea. I spent a long time wondering why certain older women kept giving me dirty looks. It didn't occur to me that they thought I was hot, because I didn't consider myself hot... the penny only dropped when I started reading MN, where some of the toxic gendered competition attitudes are alarmingly common)