To think some women automatically see attractive women as a threat to their relationships?

On Mumsnet, many women consider ANY other woman, attractive or not, partnered or not, a threat. Simply owning a vagina makes them dangerous and suspect.

Oh, absolutely. I experienced a lot of uncalled for, instant and obvious hatred from older women when I was younger. But have been told on Mumsnet before that it's all in my head! It wasn't - and no, I never flirted with their bloody husbands!

Attractiveness yes - but also being single. Perhaps even more so.

I would think the threads on here of women questioning if they should be concerned/ worried about a female friend/family member/coworker/neighbor, etc talking to their boyfriend/spouse/husband saying the women is attractive and hasn’t done anything wrong and some posters saying they wouldn’t trust their own spouses around her should be proof that what OP is describing sometimes happens.

Plus, attractiveness is subjective. What my DH deems as an attractive woman and who I deem as attractive are not the same. I do think sometimes insecurity and the spouse’s personal history/type plays a part in it.

Tbh, if my husband chose to cheat, I wouldn’t be blaming the other woman whether she flirted or not. It would be him and she can have him.

It’s probably more that they’re upset their DH will fancy you because they know what he’s like.

Some women can be extremely attractive without feeling at all like a threat.

There are others, however, and from experience a lot fewer, who immediately set your antennae twitching - you just know that given half a chance they would make a move on someone else’s man - not because they particularly want them, but because they can.

IMO most women possess these antennae. Men hardly ever do, unless they’re gay. So if you ever say anything (to a man) about PPW (potentially predatory woman) you will just get, ‘I think she’s really nice! You’re just jealous,’ etc. etc.

I dare say I’m not the only one who’s known a PPW pinch someone else’s man, only to have her dump him not long afterwards - after she’s proved her point, I.e.that she could do it. And the bloke is left licking his wounds and wondering what went wrong.

Too toot my own horn for a bit I'm considered conventionally attractive. I developed early so had ( and still have) very large breasts. I've had numerous women bully me for my looks. One at work got so bad that I had to go to the management to get it sorted out because I was getting sick at work. She drunkenly admitted that she disliked me because I was thinner and prettier than her. I've had women call me a slut dispite the fact that I didn't lose my virginity until 22 and tend twords same sex relationships. Women can be awful twords other women.

The mistake they make is to discount the ‘unattractive’ women who are just as likely to shag their husbands. I know this for a fact

Of course nobody seems to understand that it is their partner who is responsible for staying faithful so it shouldn’t matter who he is surrounded by

I’m afraid I’d struggle to beleive any attractive woman hasn’t witnessed rhis,

You asked me how I knew it wasn't the experience of all attractive women. Unless you're seriously suggesting everyone who disagrees with the OP on the thread is unattractive, I think it demonstrates my point well.

That’s it? you can hardly draw any meaningful conclusions one way or the other based on your sample size and the fact that you cannot possibly know how attractive any of the respondents to this thread really are or have been,

I stated up thread that I am a woman’s woman and predominantly talk to females in the couples, also for the reason I’m fully aware of the issues it can cause turning my attention to the male. so I personally don’t really get this as I am careful to avoid it,, but I have witnessed it with other women, I’ve seen it.

my nuance or view is different that it’s not about men, that some women compete with other women and will dislike them purely if they perceive them to be more attractive, before they even know them, due to jealousy or insecurity.

i assumed every woman knew this happened, and possibly im wrong on this and thats why posters are determined the op must be wrong and she’s just got a shit personality and is up her own arse.

im simply saying i have witnessed this and will back her up. It doesn’t mean she’s not got a shit personality, or she’s not up her own arse or that for her personally she’s indeed Samantha brick, I am saying there is some women who will be threatened if an attractive woman speaks to their partner, or do not react well if they are in the company of an attractive woman.

Ooh, I always love a Samantha Brick thread.

<gets popcorn>

You keep saying incessantly that we all know it's true, everybody knows, every single person knows, etc etc.

I think the problem here is that you are looking at this through the lens of being a very attractive woman yourself, so other women naturally feel threatened when you talk to their partners. You're forgetting that many of us on this thread are of below average attractiveness and haven't experienced it.

Or at least, that's what you'd like other posters to think. Gaslighting indeed.

Because the thread isn't full of women agreeing with her, is it? I think it highly unlikely that everyone on the thread who doesn't agree isn't or had never been an attractive woman.
Also because we are none of us mind readers so have no way of knowing if another woman's attitude towards us is due to jealousy/insecurity. Its an assumption based on tropes that all women are secretly in competition for male attention.

I have an incredibly beautiful friend. When I was first dating my DH years before we married, we went over to see her. He saw a photo of her first in the living room. He just said, "Omg, is that your friend, she is utterly stunning!"

Never once did I feel she was a threat. Nor did I feel awkward about him stating what are patently the facts. My relationships with both men and women are built on so much more than looks. I think I would have felt far more threatened if he'd said, "she's so witty and fun to be around. I am so drawn to her character."

Hth. Well done on being so beautiful though.

I just don’t see what some are seeing, I see the op saying some women, and she’s seen a pattern of it from her teens react hostile if she interacts with their partner,

I am agreeing with her, some women will do this when an attractive women talks to their partner,

j don’t get the arguing about it, we all know it’s true.

My point is that if such a pattern existed, to the extent OP claims, and for the reasons OP claims, then it would be a common experience amongst all attractive women.

How do you know it isn’t?

You're reaching to suggest either. And no need for it. We can disagree without you resorting to accusing me of intellectual inferiority or psychological abuse.
The OP has repeatedly referred to a pattern, over decades, since her teens, whereby women treat her with suspicion. She attributes this to a pattern of jealousy/insecurity in women around attractive women.
My point is that if such a pattern existed, to the extent OP claims, and for the reasons OP claims, then it would be a common experience amongst all attractive women.
I'm not saying it's never happened to her. I'm querying her interpretation of the behaviour.

But this isn’t quite right: the OP is assuming that other women are in competition with her. I find that pretty attacking / un feminist on behalf of all those women!

But OK: if you and everyone else wants to assume you know the unspoken thoughts of “women”, fine.

It’s not gaslighting, because nobody on this thread can say for sure what’s happening. Not even OP - she is making assumptions.

The only thing we know for sure is the OP explains certain interactions in this way. We don’t know anything about the women she’s claiming treat her this way. I think that’s the point.

I wouldn’t say I’ve ever felt that way but I feel confident that I’m attractive enough and our relationship is good and secure enough to not feel insecure around about other women.

Again why are peiple writing this stuff? She’s not said it happens all the time. She’s said it’s a pattern she’s seen and with some women.

and I am going to back her up, becaude I’ve seen women do this, we all have. Christ this thread shows just how 8ngrained it is for some women to want to attack other women for either being or thinking they are attractive.

no one should be pretending the op is the issue here, that it’s all in her mind, accusing her of writing stuff she didn’t, and pretending no , women dont do this, because every single woman posting knows some do,

every one of us knows it,

No she hasn’t, she’s been at pains to point out it isn’t every woman, that it’s some women and it’s a pattern of behaviour she’s seen. This doesn’t mean frequent, hoardes or every woman.

I can’t decide if this is a reading comprehension issue or gaslighting.