Sis said no to plus one at Xmas?

It's lovely of you to look out for your friend, but it isnt ok to invite someone to someones elses house for xmas without checking with the host first.

Should have checked first, but it’s a shame if it means they on their own

I wouldn’t want a stranger in my home on Christmas Day so I don’t think your family member is being unreasonable. Fine if you want to invite them in the evening to your house

Of course you can't just bring someone else uninvited!

I can see it from both sides. I’ve had family bring plus ones I’ve never met before to mine for Christmas and haven’t enjoyed my own day as much, having a random in my house. I didn’t feel relaxed and was much more ‘on’ and if I’m being honest probably added to my growing resentment at always being expected to host, which doesn’t seem like the case here as you’re taking turns. I also would be wanting to support a friend who’s on their own if they were sad or down about it, so I get it and think people forget the whole Christmas spirit thing if things don’t fit in with what they want. Depends maybe on the friend, too. Make or female, long term friend or someone you’ve recently met?

It's a bit mean of them but you should have checked first and there might be reasons eg if it's a male friend, the woman might be uncomfortable with a man she doesn't know in the house or the children might not take well to strangers of either sex etc.

Does your family know this person? If not why would they want a stranger in their house all day especially around their kids? (Though even without kids I totally get not wanting a random you don't know all day).

Why do you feel like you should be able to bring a stranger to someone else's house on Christmas Day? That's a very odd attitude to have?

Of course you should have asked before telling your friend. Most people find hosting family at Christmas enough effort without their relatives adding random people to the day.

It’s such a family based day or at the very least close friends do for you to bring some random who is not even a boyfriend or best friend out of charity is quite an imposition. As they say, do it for your house

I think you should have checked first but I think it’s very unkind of your family to say you can’t take your friend, not to mention the cheek to say it’s ok if you want to invite your friend to YOUR house in the evening! I can’t imagine turning someone away on Christmas Day if they were on their own.

The whole point of Christmas is about being KIND! I could never leave someone (who didn’t want to be) on their own on Christmas Day whether I knew them or they were a friend of a friend. Over the years we’ve had all sorts of people with us for Christmas, they have added interest and often joy to the occasion.

I’d say invite your friend to yours for Boxing Day. I don’t think your SIL is being unreasonable.

No, they are not being unreasonable.

Lovely that your friend can come to yours later in the day.

I wouldn’t want a stranger over for Christmas especially if I have kids

you want your friend over for Christmas…. You host her, alone.

I personally would not want to spend a whole day at the home of strangers, but an evening at a friends house, even with their family, I could do.

You don't get to invite random strangers to someone else's house for Christmas day.
Just because the rest of your family involves 2 adults vs your single self is not an excuse for your unreasonable expectations, behaviour and attitude.

So you have lunch at one family member’s house, and then all get in your cars and head over to another family member’s home for the evening? Or do you live walking distance?

Is this a new man @Menopausalinsommniac in your life?

My sister used to do this. Because she was single and we all brought our partners (our kids fathers), she thought she was entitled to bring any Tom, dick or Harry to anything to make it fair. It’s not, it’s weird. Especially at Christmas and such a small family group.

most years well will have someone’random’ at Christmas. It’s always been lovely, but we’ve got a big house, are fairly relaxed, and it seems to work. Your sister is entitled to not feel that way…

Not unreasonable at all you can’t just invite strangers to other peoples homes, it’s awkward and changes the dynamics id be saying no too. It’s sad for the person if they’re alone but I wouldn’t wanna stranger coming to mine either.

I think it's a bit unkind to say no to a friend of a family member, especially if it's a big Christmas where you're entertaining lots. But it is also very, very rude to invite someone to someone else's Christmas. Overall you are the more unreasonable one.

Jesus - not much Christmas spirit on this thread. I don’t have any family and I would have spent Christmas very alone if it wasn’t for a couple of plus one invites from friends.

I wouldn't want a stranger at my table at Christmas. I experienced this one family Christmas when a stranger was invited. It really chaged the dynamic.

And did you rock up knowing only your friend having never met any of the other adults and kids present?