Sis said no to plus one at Xmas?

You'd presumably meet the partner before you invited them to dinner.

And you might decide actually we are having a quiet Christmas this year. Just us

Or they might decide Ops got a partner no need to stress, maybe we should invite the in-laws.

You have no idea what's really going through their heads.

If you don't know someone how can you actively seek their company .

I find people on here are very generous in giving away other people’s time, money, and space.

It’s very easy to do if it doesn’t affect you. I 100% guarantee if it was them hosting, and people wanted to bring unrelated friends or acquaintances, then many people talking about Christmas spirit here, however well intentioned, would not be so accommodating when push comes to shove.

This is very true.

Actually one of the best Christmases I have ever had was last year when I had all my DC here, their friend, my dad, my in-laws, my brother and partner and her dad. I didn't know some of them, but we had the best laugh. It was what Christmas was all about, opening your house and being festive.

Can she be a “partner” for the day? 😂

Maybe some of the posters who are into opening the doors to anyone could get in touch with local charities and see if there’s an opportunity for them to invite an elderly person without a family, a homeless person or an asylum seeker.

This is it, 100%.

If you are from the UK it is often fine to ask for plus one. As the friend knew it was conditional on asking its all fine. Your sister may have a reason for refusing you do not yet know about.
I suspect if you are American you often wouldnt even hint at a plus one without checking.

That’s the point. As a stranger why would you go? They aren’t asking because they want to spend time with you personally.

I have only read a few comments but I have to say it has made me rather sad. Being on your own on Christmas Day must be very lonely unless it is a positive choice that you have made. Lots of people will be having more guests than usual is it really so hard to invite someone who is known to one of the guests and who otherwise would be on their own? When did everyone get so selfish and uncaring? One day it might be you!

So is it better to be invited by someone who feels sorry for you so they can show they are a good person? Wouldn’t you feel awkward?

Nobody seems to be able to answer that.

So are mine but all orders are updatable, some until a couple of days before.

If yours is not that’s on you. What happens if part of the family go down with chickenpox?

I wouldn't do it to look like I was a good person and I find that a bit of a strange thing to say. I would do it because I wouldn't want someone sat at home feeling like nobody in the world was bothered about them on that particular day when all the emphasis is on enjoying yourself and being with others. It might work out it might not but it would be an experience for all concerned - including the guest.There is one Christmas Day every year you know so there are plenty more if it doesn't work out particularly well.

Bung it in the freezer to deal with too much food than not enough.

Never had enough warning to do anything about my Christmas order.

I don’t have a partner either. I don’t invite strangers without asking.

Also, OP has said her children are adults now. She’s not some poor woman trying to juggle work and childcare who needs a break.

Op could just as easily have said 'Sis I'll host Christmas and I'm going to invite my lonely pal'

We have no idea what other constraints the Sister is under, maybe her husband is fed up of his wife always having her sister at Christmas.
But the Sister feels for Op since she's widowed with 2 kids, I don't think that hole in a family ever really goes away.

No maybe she's lonely because her children are adults
.maybe she isn't who are we to say.

People get very set in their ways and rigid
.

I agree, me also. I feel hopeful it's from people from the US with a different cultural expression of hospitality. While hosting may be a burden, in cultures like ours it often ends up a net gain that increases happiness, improves reputations, and strengthens community bonds rather than weakens them. And hosting someone a loved one trusts is lower risk.

Mind blowing I know but its almost like not everyone does things exactly the same as you, even more mind blowing to know thats allowed and perfectly ok.

I see people on mumsnet often say 'Christmas is about getting everyone together' but for many of us its NOT.

For us its about quiet time alone, I can and do go visit and see people any and everyday of the year. Christmas isn't some magic gathering day, its the opposite for us its a day for private time. A day when we don't have to put on a mask and pretend to blend despite how uncomfortable and overstimulating it is. This is pretty common for millions of people with neurodiversities who just want to relax.

Not sure what ‘cultures like ours’ refers to.

I’m English and whereas I might invite someone out of duty, it would feel odd to do so; and it would feel odd to be invited by someone because they feel sorry for me.

So you think it’s terribly mean to leave anyone alone at Christmas, but it’s also “the height of meanness” to suggest someone could volunteer somewhere on Christmas Day? What about all the people who would be alone, or even out in the cold, without charities offering Christmas dinner options? Someone needs to manage all that. Isn’t it a bit selfish to get terribly mawkish over the idea of anyone being alone, but to call the suggestion that anyone facilitate an alternative as “mean”?

You also don’t have to rely on others to “save” you from being alone at Christmas. What’s to stop you hosting a lovely big lunch for all the single people you know? If being alone is so awful, take the initiative!

We don't know.

Equally that might well be why the Sister prioritises Op and her young adult family at Christmas, rather than alternating with her husbands family.

There are so many dimensions,
their own kids might want to bring friends, foods not free,
space, we'd have struggled to get 8 into our last house, without doing it picnic style on the floor.
maybe they only have one loo

Not everyone has a John Lewis house with tons of space

Maybe amongst all this open socialising your DSis values quality family time between siblings, kids and cousins

Yes. 'everyone welcome' would be sociable, kind and inclusive but you can't deny it changes the dynamic.

Invite your friend for the evening and have a lovely time.

Who are we to say? Well I don’t know about you, but I’m saying it on the basis of the OP’s own posts, where she says her adult children are sociable people who are happy to have her friend over for Christmas Day. No evidence there that she’s sitting there lonely and crying.

That’s who I am to say.