Sis said no to plus one at Xmas?

You should have asked first, it is there home you are inviting someone they don’t know into. I would have said yes to the ask but your sister is entitled to say no.

I'm all for a waifs and strays Christmas personally so not bothered when people want to bring extras, as long as I know in plenty of time so I can cater for them. I always think it's mean to leave people on their own.

I think you overstepped

To be honest you could well be my sister. I have 14 people at my house Christmas day. She asked me the same thing and I had to decline. I don't need additional people to cater for. People being on their own is not my responsibility. You could spend Christmas with your friend or have them at yours you don't get to put that responsibility on someone else just because you feel bad.

I don't think either are unreasonble, they shouldn't have to cater for a stranger. You can invite your friend for the evening.

Very unreasonable of you! They don't know the friend, and it totally changes the dynamic when someone unknown is foisted on everyone else by someone.

It's very entitled of you to expect this, op. But when it's your part of the day to host, by all means have who you like there.

My brother used to bring home waifs and strays he'd met on nights out when we were teenagers. My poor mother used to lose her mind. Yet she always fed them once they were through the door.

I've always Christmassed with my parents and they've always been of a "the more the merrier" and have encouraged us to invite along our in-laws (who live in the same town and are both single/widowed) or when I was in Uni it was my housemate who was an international student and didn't go home over Christmas.

However - as others have said, that's the decision of the host. It's who they're inviting into their home with their kids, who they're paying to feed.

It's so lovely of you to have thought of your friend and in our family the plus one would be very welcome. The only request is that numbers are confirmed in advance of food ordering and if anyone is sleeping over to confirm dates and numbers ASAP.

I think you've got a choice to make here, you could either:

• go to the other family member's house with just your kids and whoever else they've invited and then have your mate join you for the thing later at your house
• stay at yours all day with your kids and mate and then just have your family come over later to join you all without having to go out earlier.

Better hope you are never alone on Christmas Day

I love having extra people around at Christmas, we're not a big family and the random waifs and strays are what makes it different to just a fancy Sunday lunch. More conversation topics etc.

And if I ever was, and I knew that a family barely knew me and would rather I didn’t - then no flipping way would I pursue it and I’d totally understand their stance

If it's the same people that you are seeing all day & evening why not have your friend at yours for the day & see family in the evening?

I would 100% said yes unless you have form for having dickhead friends.

Crumbs, whatever happened to the spirit of Christmas?
So, I’d ask if I could bring my friend, but would expect that they would be welcomed. Maybe that’s just my family, but we’ve always included anyone we know who is by themselves. Why is your family member saying “No”? Is it a space issue?

My teen DDs like to loll around half undressed for the first half of Christmas Day - and no bloody way would they feel comfortable doing that around a virtual stranger.

It wouldn't actually bother me at all especially if I had already met them, it's one dinner for a few hours and it's Christmas the more the merrier.

Would they feel more comfortable doing so around an elderly uncle they have known all their life then than a female non family member

Sometimes needs must but I want to relax with my family on Christmas Day where there is familiarity, not make polite conversation with someone I’ll never see again.
Some circumstances I’d accept it, like a really close friend of a family member who has no other options and has oreganos had an awful year, but others less so.

I am very more the merrier but my family are funny about people at their events/meals etc. If it was up to me I'd invite anyone who I could fit who wanted to come!

They wouldn't allow my partner one year. We lived together. They wouldn't allow her daughter either, albeit we went to my sibling's later on in the day and she was fine with the daughter coming for a couple of hours (she was a teen).

The family have met this individual and, for whatever reason, do not want her present.

But it's not a wedding where a plus one would be the norm, it's not exactly the done thing to invite a random person to a family Christmas at someone else's home. It changes the dynamics no matter who it was. If it was your romantic partner that would be different as you would be expected to come as a unit, but a bit strange to invite one of your mates without checking with the host first. The OP's friend wont be alone all day on Christmas if she is going to the OP's house later on in the day/evening..

Oh don’t be daft.

breakfast is everyday, Christmas is Christmas and everyone knows you’re supposed to be welcoming and inclusive at Christmas

… unless you’re a savage who lives in a cave?

nobody is this clueless

@Menopausalinsommniac youve done a lovely thing.

your family members are being dicks. It’s not too late for you to host your friend for lunch and leave the family members to it. You can see everyone at yours in the evening

it would be really wrong to leave your friend home while you go to Casa Scrooge for lunch.

back out of lunch.

She can put clothes on then can’t she and learn that Christmas isn’t just about what she wants

It’s a few more veggies! If you don’t enjoy hosting, don’t do it. One more person won’t make any difference at all.

But that’s the point - how hurtful to not only be alone on Christmas Day but to then find that the family of your dear friend who was kind enough to include you view you as an inconvenience. Of course you wouldn’t “pursue” it but it would definitely make you feel even more shit than you probably already did