To want DH off the bed when there are no sheets on it

Says everyone who knows anything about hygiene. Rather shocking to get to adulthood and not know this.

I’ve not read the full thread and for some reason I can’t vote. But I’m with you OP - I don’t like it when people do this in my house either

Don’t have a ‘DH’. It’s easier that way.

Buy another set of sheets and change the bed straight away you absolute weirdo

What law decrees it? Rule book?
There is no 'should'. It is personal choice.
You are rather easily shocked if you can't cope with the suggestion that others might do differently to you.

YANBU - I hate this too. My DH has slept on the mattress cover and pillow protectors before he'll put clean sheets on.

Why is he relaxing and playing on a device while you are changing the sheets? So much that sounds controlling is very different when one party is doing chores and the other relaxing.

Do get yourself a spare set of bedding, including bottom sheet and mattress protector. You will relieve yourself of a lot of stress. I live on my own, and I wash my bedding every week, including the mattress protector. I don't like anyone sitting on my bed even if the bed is made up!

I think it's good you acknowledge that your thinking with the "outside clothes" and the bed being contaminated are OCD type thinking. I know getting MH support from the NHS is like pulling teeth but do explore this if you can - it is meant to be really helpful.

I wonder if your general stress from DH not being supportive generally and making more work for you is exacerbating OCD symptoms. I'm sure that's a known mechanism with stress.

I'm with you there.

Things are definitely not right.

Wishing that all things in your life improve OP.

Edit - grammatical errors.

I prefer people to lie on bed linen rather than directly on the mattress linen but at least you have a mattress liner! If the guy's tired it's tricky. Could he help you get the sheets back on or are they still wet? Another idea - could you maybe get an extra set from Ikea then you can change the bed and put clean sheets on immediately and so avoid this issue if it's annoying you.

If these are the "day clothes" (wtf) he wears mining coal by hand down the pit or delivering calves on a farm, yes.

I don't get why it's a problem but I don't get more why anyone would need to be on the bed in the first place in the day after getting up.

If the guy's tired it's tricky.
My DH and I have been together 40 years neither of us has ever gone to have to a lie down on the bed to nap.

You could buy an extra set of sheets but I really don’t think the sheets are the problem here. You’re the only one parenting and taking responsibility for the house.

He's lying on his side i presume? I would not care.

Just read that he is relaxing and u are parenting. He needs to shift his lazy arse.

Best find something important to worry about OP!

I'm not shocked at people doing things differently to me, not at all 🙄

I'm shocked that you were unaware that it's unhygienic to not air mattresses. Of course it's personal choice, if you want to sleep in an unhygienic bed, that's completely your choice, no law against it 😷

I honestly wouldn’t give a shit. I don’t get this thing where you aren’t allowed in a bed in ‘day clothes’ it’s neurotic

I keep re-reading this post @Chocolattecoffeecuppaa and it honestly makes me feel sad that your solution is to buy more sheets.

I ended up with a house full of cushions - and spare bedding sets. I honestly (tragically) felt like these comforts were all I needed to keep us going.

We had different issues to the ones you’ve described, but they were issues I was not dealing with and instead I tried to cover them up with clean bedding and home comforts. I too would flip if DH flung a cushion on the floor or didn’t fold his clothes away or laid on the unmade bed.

I’d venture the things you’re getting mad at aren’t the real issues and, unfortunately, unless you articulate what that / they are and take steps to sort together, you will continue to feel and likely appear unreasonable.

Maybe it’s time for a chat. It’s definitely worth it.

Does he lie on the bed in his day clothes or with his top off on days that you haven’t stripped the bed to wash the sheets? If so, is that an issue also? Just wondering if you are struggling with ocd, or is he actually making the bed unpleasant to sleep in because he is particularly dirty or sweaty after work or exercising?

Is napping on a bed bad now? I do it all the time and DH doesn’t care. A bed is for sleeping

Oh good gods, you are precious if you think a mattress is suddenly unhygienic if it isn't left completely uncovered for an unspecified period of time on a similarly unspecified regular basis.

Are you one of those people who changes their bedding daily? And gets the vapours over towels being used more than once?

The point being that we all have different perspectives on how 'hygienic' is defined. I am far from the only one on this thread who strips a bed and puts fresh bedding straight on. Who is to say your interpretation is correct when you say we 'should' be doing something?

You keep repeating that I said 'should', not once did I say that.

Enjoy your manky bed.