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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want DH off the bed when there are no sheets on it

223 replies

Chocolattecoffeecuppaa · 07/11/2026 14:05

I've taken the sheets off the bed and just the mattress and pillow protectors are on there now, which I'm not washing as I washed them last weekend, and I don't want the protectors every week, but wash sheets once a week.

As soon as I've taken off the sheets, DH lays down on the bed to play games on his phone on the protector that I wasn't planning to wash and in his day clothes. Then later gets up and lies back down without even a top on before he's about to get in the shower.

AIBU is controlling to ask him not to do this? He's refused to get up saying I should just leave him alone but I'm the one who washes the sheets and he was on my pillow!

OP posts:
gardenflowergirl · 07/11/2026 16:50

Buy another bottom sheet and put it on as soon as you remove the one to wash.

BeSharpHelper · 07/11/2026 17:04

I personally wouldnt really care about this and would also resent being told to get off the bed in my ‘day clothes’ . However , if my dh were to tell me he really hates it and I knew it bothered him i woukd stop doing it or come to some sort of compromise put a blanket down or something . I wouldnt keep doing something I knew upset him . As an aside he sounds lazy.

BlondeCircus · 07/11/2026 17:20

I must be a complete slob lol I come in and very often lay on the bed sometimes I get in with my day clothes on, I think there’s more to this than meets the eye , having one set of bedclothes it’s insane what happens if sick or washing machine breaks down then what. Your husband sounds lazy and selfish not really wanting to help out around the house. You sound paranoid about cleanliness

Lampsandlightsandotherthings · 07/11/2026 17:28

Oh my goodness you are ridiculous!
is he on his own side of the bed? Shock 😮 not in days clothes 😮🤯 call the rozzers

brunettemic · 07/11/2026 17:33

Pearlstillsinging · 07/11/2026 14:17

Ask him to put the clean sheets on, as you remove the dirty ones.

Then she’d be moaning he sat on the clean sheets in his “day clothes”.

Inertia · 07/11/2026 17:39

blondeseaside · 07/11/2026 15:48

You'd love my DH, Op. We did a long haul trip. DH had a rucksack that had been on the floor of the car, bus, airport, plane, taxi, pavement etc. Checked into our lovely hotel and of course there was a lovely bed with crisp fresh sheets...where does he plonk his dirty bag? On my pillow. I was enraged. He didn't see the problem.

Surely it then becomes his pillow?

Fakeplasticchimneyswhy · 07/11/2026 17:56

I’m with OP on this one. I don’t want sweat and dead skin cells on the mattress protector that isn’t going to be washed because then you’re more likely to get house dust mite that I’m allergic to. But I do think you need another set of bedding. Then if he wants to lie on the bed during daytime, he can do so if he puts the clean sheet on first.

Freshrain · 07/11/2026 18:03

Chocolattecoffeecuppaa · 07/11/2026 14:59

He does have money. We earn a similar amount and we pay half of the bills each and try to share food costs but he often is v frugal or says he can't contribute more money for food but he does then invest the money (own investments not shared as we have our own money apart form the shared bills). If I want to buy furniture or anything for the house he'll often day no we don't need it so I either pay for it myself or we don't get it.

It's not that he does nothing but he has a lot of time to game and he spends quite a lot of time on his own upstairs playing while I'm with the kids. I took them to their hobbies this morning and made them lunch, my parents came to see us (DH didn't even come and say hello), he's been upstairs for hours.

So yes I'm probably also annoyed he's not helping but I think I have a bit of genuine OCD and I don't like anything touching the sheets or bed. We probably do need an extra set of sheets so they are on my list to buy.

We are ok for money by the way so that's not the issue.

Show quote history

I couldn't get overly worked up over the sitting on the bed per se, but, as you say you aren't short of money why not splash out less than a tenner on a 2nd double sheet so one of you can make up the bed when it has been stripped, as it bothers you more than it bothers most of us ?

I mean, all the other issues in this uneven partnership seem much bigger an issue to me, but if you want an answer just on the sheet issue......

Abustedflush · 07/11/2026 18:04

@Chocolattecoffeecuppaa Everything you’ve written since your first post confirms one thing.
He’s being a lazy and miserly git. It’s not an attractive trait.

managingexpectations · 07/11/2026 18:38

Going against the grain, that would wind me up but I admit to being a bit odd about laundry and cleanliness.
realistically unless he’s sweaty or visibly dirty it’s not really a problem and I wouldn’t say anything but I’d be annoyed internally

OldUserNewNameNow · 07/11/2026 18:47

Why are you removing the sheets, washing the sheets, drying the sheets and putting back clean sheets - YOURSELF?
What’s DH doing? I’d say throw the dirty laundry at him and give him the job (end to end).
That’ll teach him how to keep things clean so that washing is reduced..😜

Soontobe60 · 07/11/2026 19:13

Chocolattecoffeecuppaa · 07/11/2026 14:43

This is the thing he never changed sheets or does any laundry so if the protector smells of sweat then I'll have to wash and dry it again, when he can be arsed to get up. I'm also cleaning and entertaining our 7 yo and 5 yo while he's playing games on his phone lying on the bed. I'm clearly in a bad mood.

Show quote history

No love, you clearly have an arse of a lazy husband. That being said, your issues around him lying on the unmade bed in his ‘day clothes’ is a bit strange.

Luckyingame · 07/11/2026 19:15

boxgoog · 07/11/2026 14:08

his day clothes

Sigh.

unclench

Yep. 😂

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/11/2026 19:20

Clearly you need to LTB and burn the bed!

FFS….

MagpiesAndJays · 07/11/2026 19:31

I couldn't live like this.

Davros · 07/11/2026 19:36

Why on earth do you have only one set of bedding? Bizarre! And he’s a lazy arse and you’re a doormat

OneHazelBird · 07/11/2026 19:38

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/11/2026 19:20

Clearly you need to LTB and burn the bed!

FFS….

Well she definitely needs to LTB

Scarlettpixie · 07/11/2026 19:42

I wouldn’t care about the mattress, but it’s not really about that.

ClaredeBear · 07/11/2026 19:50

For what it’s worth I totally understand where you’re coming from but I don’t think this is just about some sheets. If my husband did this (and I don’t like it either), I wouldn’t have so much of an issue with it because he is the person who changes the sheets and he does loads of other housework, maintenance etc. I would not be ok about it if he did sod all.

Erin1975 · 07/11/2026 19:52

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/11/2026 19:20

Clearly you need to LTB and burn the bed!

FFS….

So LTB, BTB and FFS?

CombatBarbie · 07/11/2026 20:05

Do you only have 1 set of bedding? Id have asked him to make the bed with other bedding?

wishfulthinking25 · 07/11/2026 20:11

I’m with you OP, I’d find this gross!

wishfulthinking25 · 07/11/2026 20:11

Erin1975 · 07/11/2026 19:52

So LTB, BTB and FFS?

Show quote history

Hahhaha this made me laugh!

RedSheep26 · 07/11/2026 20:14

I’m far from a clean freak but I would also object to this. Don’t care about outside clothes on the duvet cover as that gets washed, don’t want anyone/anything on the mattress protector as it’s big and not easy to wrangle. So YANBU on that count.

tbh he just sounds shit though. Doesn’t do housework, playing on his phone rather than looking after the kids, tight to the point you only have one set of sheets, spends all his money on his own “investments”, doesn’t work with you as a teammate. What are you getting out of this relationship?

midlifeattheoasis · 07/11/2026 20:45

You’re insane

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