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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want DH off the bed when there are no sheets on it

223 replies

Chocolattecoffeecuppaa · 07/11/2026 14:05

I've taken the sheets off the bed and just the mattress and pillow protectors are on there now, which I'm not washing as I washed them last weekend, and I don't want the protectors every week, but wash sheets once a week.

As soon as I've taken off the sheets, DH lays down on the bed to play games on his phone on the protector that I wasn't planning to wash and in his day clothes. Then later gets up and lies back down without even a top on before he's about to get in the shower.

AIBU is controlling to ask him not to do this? He's refused to get up saying I should just leave him alone but I'm the one who washes the sheets and he was on my pillow!

OP posts:
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Endorewitch · Today 17:13

Yes ,no need for nasty comments. Vut to be fairr most of us are so gobsmacked by what you consider a problem,that it is all to easy to be a bit sarcastic!!I have held myself back from saying what I really think,becauye it would be rudeefor me to post nasty comments. And also not fair upsetting someone.

burntorange21 · Yesterday 21:47

em….no

Chocolattecoffeecuppaa · Yesterday 21:19

noodlebugz · Yesterday 01:13

OP i’ve read all your replies - what does this man bring to the table? I can’t see it!?! Is he really good in bed? He sounds like hard work and a total drip.
I’m not usually this unkind but perhaps you have the ick?

No he is not really good in bed lol but yes I was clearly annoyed about the fact he was just lying there. I do also avoid lying in bed or on the bare bed with my outdoor clothes on though thank you very much so both things are true 😬

OP posts:
Chocolattecoffeecuppaa · Yesterday 21:17

JSovro · Yesterday 18:51

Probably childless and have no purpose

Are you explaining why you have the time to make nasty, useless comments?

OP posts:
JSovro · Yesterday 18:51

Iloveeverycat · 08/11/2026 19:42

I don't get why it's a problem but I don't get more why anyone would need to be on the bed in the first place in the day after getting up.

Probably childless and have no purpose

TheQueenOfEverything · Yesterday 15:56

Just make the bed as soon as you take off the dirty ones.

Lovemeapickledgherkin · Yesterday 13:43

Gingerbreadseasoniscoming · 07/11/2026 14:06

I couldn't get worked up about this, assuming he's not covered in mud.

😂

gravitarse · Yesterday 12:45

You're being weird

Floatlikeafeather2 · Yesterday 11:47

Sparrowsandbudgies · 07/11/2026 14:26

True. Someone, anyone, needs to put the fresh sheets etc straight on. I never do half a job and leave stuff for later.

But, to me, part of that particular job is allowing the mattress to air for a while before making the bed again. So it goes strip the bed, put the sheets in the wash, go back a few hours later to make the bed.

Trishthedish · Yesterday 10:25

You’ve lost the plot.

ithinkthereforeyouarewrong · Yesterday 10:21

LikeAFunkyAvengerTougherThanANinja · 07/11/2026 14:15

The naked bed should be untouched by humans or animals.

Agreed it must feel victimised

FinanceLPlates · Yesterday 06:53

He sounds like a teenager, not a husband. Though that is probably being unfair to teenagers.
Deeply unattractive that he treats you like a servant and doesn’t even have the decency to get out of the way. Or parent his children for that matter.
I’d save for a divorce lawyer, never mind a second set of sheets.

noodlebugz · Yesterday 01:13

OP i’ve read all your replies - what does this man bring to the table? I can’t see it!?! Is he really good in bed? He sounds like hard work and a total drip.
I’m not usually this unkind but perhaps you have the ick?

Aavalon57 · Yesterday 00:29

The sheets are irrelevant. She’s got a major husband problem.

TheDevilWears · 08/11/2026 23:43

Sorry … you got me at one set of sheets!!! I will admit that bed linen - nice bed linen - is a huge indulgence for me. But one set of sheets? For a couple? Is this normal?

Hundslappadrifa · 08/11/2026 22:35

Cosyblankets · 07/11/2026 14:19

Yes it's controlling

It’s not controlling, it’s bonkers!

Denim4ever · 08/11/2026 22:30

Easiest way round it is to change the bedding not put the same bedding back on. That's why they call it changing the bed.

GoodEnough1 · 08/11/2026 22:22

You have the same routine as me and you are married to my husband 😂😂😂

Davros · 08/11/2026 22:20

I never air my mattress. If I don’t get the clean bedding on straightaway I know I will regret it later when I want to get in and haven’t done it

MagpiesAndJays · 08/11/2026 21:46

ReadingSoManyThreads · 08/11/2026 21:17

Nope, "should" is actually the stronger of the two words. Should expresses obligation/duty, supposed indicates assumption or expectation.

If you're going to pull me up on something, at least get it the right way round.

"Should" suggests advice or recommendation. It reflects the speaker's personal opinion or a suggestion about what is right or best.

"Supposed to" is a rule or expectation. It points to an existing rule, plan, or social norm set by someone or something else. It implies that if you don't do it, an expectation is being broken.

StillTheChickenRun · 08/11/2026 21:43

JSovro · 08/11/2026 19:05

Buy another set of sheets and change the bed straight away you absolute weirdo

This omits the issue that the man lying on the bed gaming won’t buy sheets or make the bed

ReadingSoManyThreads · 08/11/2026 21:17

MagpiesAndJays · 08/11/2026 21:13

My apologies, you were stronger in your wording. You said 'supposed to', as if it was some sort of mandate.

Nope, "should" is actually the stronger of the two words. Should expresses obligation/duty, supposed indicates assumption or expectation.

If you're going to pull me up on something, at least get it the right way round.

MagpiesAndJays · 08/11/2026 21:13

ReadingSoManyThreads · 08/11/2026 21:10

You keep repeating that I said 'should', not once did I say that.

Enjoy your manky bed.

My apologies, you were stronger in your wording. You said 'supposed to', as if it was some sort of mandate.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 08/11/2026 21:10

MagpiesAndJays · 08/11/2026 20:55

Oh good gods, you are precious if you think a mattress is suddenly unhygienic if it isn't left completely uncovered for an unspecified period of time on a similarly unspecified regular basis.

Are you one of those people who changes their bedding daily? And gets the vapours over towels being used more than once?

The point being that we all have different perspectives on how 'hygienic' is defined. I am far from the only one on this thread who strips a bed and puts fresh bedding straight on. Who is to say your interpretation is correct when you say we 'should' be doing something?

You keep repeating that I said 'should', not once did I say that.

Enjoy your manky bed.

MagpiesAndJays · 08/11/2026 20:55

ReadingSoManyThreads · 08/11/2026 20:42

I'm not shocked at people doing things differently to me, not at all 🙄

I'm shocked that you were unaware that it's unhygienic to not air mattresses. Of course it's personal choice, if you want to sleep in an unhygienic bed, that's completely your choice, no law against it 😷

Oh good gods, you are precious if you think a mattress is suddenly unhygienic if it isn't left completely uncovered for an unspecified period of time on a similarly unspecified regular basis.

Are you one of those people who changes their bedding daily? And gets the vapours over towels being used more than once?

The point being that we all have different perspectives on how 'hygienic' is defined. I am far from the only one on this thread who strips a bed and puts fresh bedding straight on. Who is to say your interpretation is correct when you say we 'should' be doing something?

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