To say “anxiety” is just low self esteem and confidence.

blankcanvas3 · 04/11/2026 12:49

YABU. I don’t have low self esteem or confidence and sometimes I find myself absolutely unable to do the most basic of things because I’m too anxious for no reason

anniegun · 04/11/2026 12:50

I think you have no idea how other people's minds work. Your own personal experience is not a diagnosis for everyone else

Postjurywoes · 04/11/2026 12:51

blankcanvas3 · 04/11/2026 12:49

YABU. I don’t have low self esteem or confidence and sometimes I find myself absolutely unable to do the most basic of things because I’m too anxious for no reason

What can't you do?

What will actually happen if you do that task?

OriginalSkang · 04/11/2026 12:51

As someone with a life long diagnosed anxiety disorder and low confidence and self esteem, I'm not really sure what you mean

What kind of things are you thinking of?

Eyesopenwideawake · 04/11/2026 12:53

Nope, wrong. Anxiety is the emotion that is triggered when there's something looming that's too important to ignore. Fine when it's something specific like making sure you're on time for a job interview or checking 15 times that you've got your passport before you leave the house for the airport.

It's an unpleasant feeling because otherwise you'd ignore it. However if your mind is telling you to pay attention to a problem that you can't easily solve – anything from the state of the climate to a bad relationship or crappy job it will go on and on, looking for a solution, hence those unpleasant feelings become almost part of who you are. And sometimes you can end up being anxious about being anxious.

Low self esteem or low confidence can exacerbate anxiety about your ability to deal with things but it's not a direct link.

Chickadiddy · 04/11/2026 12:54

Maybe you'd like to pass on this revolutionary nugget of wisdom to the whole of the psychiatric profession?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 04/11/2026 12:54

You sound terribly judgemental.

Tortephant · 04/11/2026 12:55

No, it’s almost always because they don’t know how to do it or where to start

midnight4 · 04/11/2026 12:55

People use it as a way to avoid doing something they don’t want to do.

blankcanvas3 · 04/11/2026 12:55

Postjurywoes · 04/11/2026 12:51

What can't you do?

What will actually happen if you do that task?

Show quote history

It’s not a certain thing I can’t do, it just pops up sometimes for something random. Just the thought of it would mean I had a panic attack. I’ve been the same way since I was a teenager. Couldn’t phone the doctors the other day for DD. Yes i’m on medication, no I’m not on benefits.

MigGril · 04/11/2026 12:56

Well when I was younger I didn't have great self confidence 😕. But it didn't really stop me doing anything I was quite and shy.

I've had anxiety now for a number of years, it feels absolutely nothing like have low self confidence and I've been frozen and unable to do stuff because of it.

I'm assuming you have never suffered anxiety yourself if you have made this statement?

Gaitskilling · 04/11/2026 12:56

Yes, I think that’s perfectly likely. ‘Anxiety’ as popularly used, is pretty much as meaningless as ‘toxic’.

Fieldmiceears · 04/11/2026 12:56

Respectfully, you have no clue what is going on inside other people's minds or what their lived experience is.

Yes some people throw "anxiety" around as an excuse, but you have no grounds to say if that is true or not.

If you find yourself exhausted or frustrated by specific people, remove yourself from the interaction, cut contact, ignore etc. Concern yourself more with your own wellbeing. Have you listened to the "Let Them" podcast? Really helpful in getting perspective on this type of annoyance.

Postjurywoes · 04/11/2026 12:58

blankcanvas3 · 04/11/2026 12:55

It’s not a certain thing I can’t do, it just pops up sometimes for something random. Just the thought of it would mean I had a panic attack. I’ve been the same way since I was a teenager. Couldn’t phone the doctors the other day for DD. Yes i’m on medication, no I’m not on benefits.

Show quote history

So who rang, or did no-one ring

86newnameagain · 04/11/2026 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

blankcanvas3 · 04/11/2026 12:59

Postjurywoes · 04/11/2026 12:58

So who rang, or did no-one ring

Show quote history

DH

JacknDiane · 04/11/2026 12:59

True

dizzydizzydizzy · 04/11/2026 13:00

Your understanding of anxiety is fundamentally flawed. Avoidance is actually often a symptom of anxiety. Self esteem and confidence are totally different from anxiety, and as PPs have pointed out you can have good self esteem and confidence but be incredibly anxious and therefore unable to do
something. Anxiety can be incredibly disabling. I feel like you might be trying to minimise it.

Original poster

Alondrada · 04/11/2026 13:00

I would like to reiterate, that I am not talking about anxiety disorders, the mental illnesses which affect someone’s daily living and their ability to carry out everyday tasks.

It’s about people who avoid certain things and say they have “anxiety” about it. When they are fully capable but it’s their low confidence in themselves and the fear of being perceived which stops them from doing that certain thing.

OP posts:

Summerfridays · 04/11/2026 13:01

Bring back the laughter emoji, I beg you mumsnet.

You really shouldn't comment on things you have no idea about.

I've always loved travelling and done so quite extensively. However have developed horrible anxiety about even short minibreaks in the last few years.

lottiegarbanzo · 04/11/2026 13:01

No, they’re different things. Anxiety is a very physical response, it’s not a feeling, or purely a mental state.

If people are bullshitting, that’s because they’re bullshitters and that’s what you should address / the reason you should choose to avoid them.

TeensNoMore · 04/11/2026 13:02

Being anxious is very different from having a diagnosed anxiety disorder.

YABU to conflating the two in the way you have.

Postjurywoes · 04/11/2026 13:02

blankcanvas3 · 04/11/2026 12:59

DH

Show quote history

So you knew you could leave it and someone else would do it............
If you were in on your own an needed to ring, you would have had to, therefore proving my point.

If you had to you would.

FallBreeze · 04/11/2026 13:04

dizzydizzydizzy · 04/11/2026 13:04

Alondrada · 04/11/2026 13:00

I would like to reiterate, that I am not talking about anxiety disorders, the mental illnesses which affect someone’s daily living and their ability to carry out everyday tasks.

It’s about people who avoid certain things and say they have “anxiety” about it. When they are fully capable but it’s their low confidence in themselves and the fear of being perceived which stops them from doing that certain thing.

So you mean people are using anxiety as a made up excuse when their problem is really lack of self confidence? If so, no idea. I’m not sure how you know.