To say “anxiety” is just low self esteem and confidence.

Without knowing the facts in each case you are being very unreasonable.

I speak as somebody who has had disabling anxiety requiring medication.

Me too.

But what will happen if you step on a train?

I’m so glad you’ve solved a whole medical condition with just one sentence.

I do have anxiety disorder. Did it used to affect my life daily yes. Does it now? Not so much so. However the day the doctor said I have anxiety and depression it felt like a weight was lifted from me. I no longer felt like I had just failed but my brain was working like others did.

Its a shame back then you couldn’t have just told me to have more confidence and boost my self esteem and I’ll be better. 🤦‍♀️

Its definitely anxiety in my case.

Not my experience OP

My panic attacks and agoraphobia have got fuck all to do with low self esteem, in fact I'm actually a pretty confident person.

True anxiety disorders are HORRIFIC, if you could experience it for one day you'd realise how ridiculous this post is.

I clicked YABU. However, now I've thought about it, you're right.

I'm autistic and I always remember people saying "Everyone feels a bit shy", "Everyone feels nervous" etc. And that's true but then everyone else just feels a bit nervous but then makes friends and they're fine, which didn't happen for me. And everyone feels a bit nervous but they don't generally have to wear pads in case they wet themselves through fear :/.

A confident person would be able to rationalise going outside would they not?

When my anxiety is really bad, it's nothing to do with my self esteem. There's days I feel great, the sun is shining, I want to go out. But then suddenly something shifts. It's like an instant inner body refusal. In my mind, I want to go. But my body reacts in a way that just stops me. I've forced my way through it but then, feeling ok enough, I get lightheaded/unstable sensations. I feel like a panic attack is coming on. I've had a controlled one before where I struggled to get home as I wanted to break down but didn't want anyone to see me looking odd! I was shaking by the time I got home. No idea why.

As for the phone, sometimes I can, sometimes, it's definitely not going to happen. It's not a case of 'if you were forced to, you would.' I simply couldn't. The body makes the mind shut down and even on ok days, I can't recall alot of what was said on the call. It's an autopilot that takes over. I've been suicidal, very much suicidal, in the past. Not a fucking chance was I going to ring any helpline. Even though I was desperate to talk the feelings over.

Ofcourse alot of people use it as an excuse, but for others, it's hugely debilitating and for me, highly shameful that I'm unable to do normal things. But I still try to push through it, on days I'm able to override it a little. Hoping that it'll pass but knowing it might not, and that I'll still be ok if that happens. Just need to ride out the after effects.

Same, it’s so annoying!

I have issues with anxiety.

Some of it is about power, control and trust in authority issues. Not unjustified - some are traumatic experience related. Not confidence.

And some is very firmly hormone related.

I think people mis-use words. In your example the person (probably) doesn't have a mental health condition, they are probably simply nervous about doing the thing.

I'm not sure I would link it to low self-esteem and confidence though. People can be nervous about doing things because they haven't done them before (e.g. skydiving) or because they are important to them and they want to do them well (e.g. job interview).

Again, you are talking about a really specific situation so you can hardly say the OP is right about all anxiety

Well, suppose — ta -daaah! — it turns out you don’t have a ‘MH problem’?

There is a current thread on here from a poster who is desperate to be given an autism diagnosis because she feels it will ‘validate’ her lifelong struggles with friendships, and mean she can stop thinking there’s something ‘wrong with me I need to fix’. The flipside of this is that she’s afraid that, if she doesn’t meet the criteria for a diagnosis, she’s back with the idea that she ‘just’ struggles with friendships, and needs to do better. (I mean, in her view.)

So you're saying that anxiety stemming from low self esteem or lack of confidence is not proper anxiety? Thanks for your insight. I guess my social anxiety is just me being silly. I shall pull myself together. 🙄

Some of us use it to do the things we have to do just with extra added perpetual ✨ worries ✨, thank you.

YABU in that anxiety and low-self esteem can often be the external, physical signs of neuro divergent development rather than stand alone issues. It's a very complex area imo.

It’s about people who avoid certain things and say they have “anxiety” about it. When they are fully capable but it’s their low confidence in themselves and the fear of being perceived which stops them from doing that certain thing.

Why is anxiety due to a "real" mental disorder more valid than anxiety due to lack of confidence? Both impact how a person lives their life and they may require support to overcome it.

@Postjurywoes and @Alondrada surely at some point in your life you have jibbed away from doing something you were afraid of? How are you skiing black runs, how are you diving off the 20ft board, how are you at singing stone cold sober in front of an audience, how are you at confronting a pervert at a tube station, how are you at solo sky diving?

I'm sure you are going to tell me that you are an expert in all of the above, but imagine just for a brief moment that there was one of those activities that you didn't do, not because you couldn't, but because you were afraid to do it. Now apply that to something that you think is a piece of piss, like getting on a train and that might give you an iota of understanding of how it feels for someone to be debilitated by anxiety about something! It doesn't mean that you lack self confidence and self esteem as a person overall.

Honest to goodness, what would be the point of programmes like I am a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here or SAS: Who Dares Wins if it weren't for pretty confident people trying to overcome their fears.

But you have no idea what it is about motorway driving they have anxiety about? That particular example is really bizarre! What do you imagine they're scared of?

If this is aimed at me - I don't know what you've taken from my posts that makes you think I'm taking about me?

And where do you think anxiety ends and anxiety disorders begin? If all that was wrong with me was that I can't drive on a motorway (which I can't, but I'm a very confident driver elsewhere), but the rest of my life was unaffected - would you consider I had an anxiety disorder then?

You have no idea what you're talking about. This is just ridiculous armchair psychology

If you had said 'do you think some people fake anxiety to get out of things they don't like?' then that would be a different thread. But you are saying you don't think anxiety exists outside of a disorder, which is absolutely ridiculous!

Being anxious (anxiety) is a common thing for humans to experience. (I'm not taking about full blown anxiety disorders which are another level - and you don't have to have a disorder to experience anxiety).

It's perfectly normal to feel anxious about things like exams and public speaking. If the person has low self esteem then it's surely more likely that they will experience anxiety about those things and other more innocuous things that would not bother more confident people. That does not mean the person is not really experiencing anxiety.

What do you think anxiety is? I'm intrigued.

You mean well, I get that. But you’re just going on about formalities. some call it this others call it that but it boils down to the same (often debilitating) condition:

You say: They have low confidence in themselves to be able to experience a situation. Or they have a fear about something.

And they call it ‘anxiety’, it’s the same.

Why does this wind you up?