AIBU for giving my step-niece less than my nieces for 17th birthday?

That’s a really generous gift. Ignore your brother and other posters here - you are under no obligation to gift a grand to her

Your brother, and presumably his wife, are cheeky, greedy fuckers.

O wouldn’t say anything, and I suspect your brother hasn’t said anything to you because he knows he’s being unreasonable even if he is disappointed. He may have had a point if he’d been raising his step children since they were babies, but he hasn’t been. They have their own paternal family to provide driving lessons. You are the only paternal family your nieces have. You didn’t nothing wrong.

Why on earth does he think its your job to provide driving lessons for a child that has a mum, a dad, a step-dad and extended family on both her mum and dad's side?!
I suspect he opened his big mouth and told everyone that the driving lessons would be arriving and has been caught out. Putting £2000 aside for driving lessons is very different to £4000, if this were 4 biologically related children you may not have been able to budget that and they'd have each gotten 500
He is being ridiculous imo

So does your DN's step mum's family treat your DN's exactly the same? What did step grannie by her grandaugher for her 17 and what did she buy your nieces?

I don’t think giving her £1000 was necessarily the thing , but comparing the nieces £1000 to her £50 makes you look very tight. I think there was probably a sweet spot, but it wasn’t £50.

Your brother is a CF.
Ignore him.

Why not just give people presents that suit their tastes and personalities?

My brother has 2 SC & no way would I ever gift them what I do my bio niece/nephew. They are not my family

I totally disagree. What a message to send out to the poor girl.

Does SD not get presents from her birth mother/aunts? .
why would you double up?

Then we’ll have to agree to disagree.

I’m the step child in my family and, really, the level of entitlement encouraged on behalf of stepkids who have their own bio families is ridiculous. The message this girl gets is: your step aunt values and cares for you enough to give you gifts and some money on your 17th.

Hopefully step niece’s dad and his family value and care enough to fund her driving lessons and also buy her step siblings gifts, but that is outside the power of OP.

It's your choice, I wouldn't do anything- as a stepchild myself I wouldn't have expected the same, but families differ.

We gavw our step niece exactly what our other nieces and nephews got for there birthdays. I wouldn't differentiate between them like that. I think to give £50 to your step niece ans £1000 to the other nieces is favouritism at ita finest. All shows you dont value her as part pf thw family the same way.

Ooosh 100 v 1000 is mean
i have step daughters and they’ve been embraced by all of my immediate relatives and treated like family…. Because they are.

Wouldn’t the step daughter have her actual aunties and uncles to buy her presents too though ? You’re an additional/ extra adult in this scenario so I think what you did was fine.

besides, affordability changes for people too. You give what feels right at the time.

I wouldn't broach it. What good would come of it? He thinks you should've given DSD 1k, you don't, and he thought it was appropriate to drag your parents in too.

Your parents told you for a reason. What do they think you should do with the information they gave you?

Leave it. He was expecting £1k which is ridiculous. If he splits with his now wife, you’ll never see step niece again. You’ll always be an aunty to your nieces.
Also he’s had time to save for driving lessons. He can embrace his step daughter as a daughter and that’s great, but she’s also got a father, and her father’s side of the family. Is he going to expect driving lessons from them? Her actual blood relatives

I’d leave it alone.

I’d also ask your parents why they bothered to mention this to you. Was it to stir things up?

You were very generous to spend £100 on the stepniece - your brother sounds like a knob!

I always find it bizarre when people obsess about bloodline like this, as though they were the last of the Romanovs rather than mid-level HR managers from Guildford.

I agree with this. Ignore him & move on. He’s a right cheeky fucker to ever expect you to spend £1000 on his DSD! What you bought sounds lovely & very generous.

Just do gifts and maybe add £50 gift cards for each if that is what you want. No more money. That is my advice.

OP has said the idea that she might give 1k simply didn't occur to her, which would seem to be the opposite of obsession? DB, who feels differently to her, is evidently the one who's given it more thought and decided to raise it with wider family.