AIBU for giving my step-niece less than my nieces for 17th birthday?

The step‑niece wasn’t upset because she wanted £1000. She was upset because she saw a huge disparity between how the aunt values her and how she valued the other girls at the same age. This isn’t about entitlement. It’s about belonging.

IS the stepniece upset though? Because all we know from OP's posts is that she thanked her, said she loved the perfume and was pleased to have the cash so she could get some new tops. You say "She was upset because..." as though this is fact, when you don't even know she WAS upset, let alone why.

For heaven's sake, it's not Boyhood. For all we know OP barely sees this girl a handful of times a year.

The step‑niece wasn’t upset because she wanted £1000. She was upset because she saw a huge disparity between how the aunt values her and how she valued the other girls at the same age. This isn’t about entitlement. It’s about belonging.

But I doubt the step niece views the OP as her aunt - because she isn't!!! To the niece, she's her step Dad's sister, so probably a pleasant adult to have in her life, but unlikely to be viewed as a close relative. And as a pp has just suggested, we don't even know if the step niece was upset.

But where does all this end? Does the step niece's Grandma need to be invited for Christmas lunch? You're getting into the hairdresser's sister's yoga teacher's son territory.

All we can deduce is that the step-niece is polite 😅
the brother brought it up, maybe the step-niece mentioned it to him and he wanted to speak on her behalf. Or maybe she really didn’t care?

fact remains £50 v £1000 is a huge disparity so I wouldn’t be surprised if step-niece was upset but (of course) said thank you anyway because if she hadn’t it would have been highly rude!

I can’t imagine the step niece being the issue. Who on earth thinks they are entitled to £1000 of their step fathers sisters money?

It is a huge disparity, but so what? she doesn’t have to treat them the same, because they aren’t the same. There’s nothing wrong with you considering your step relatives no differently to blood family, but equally there’s nothing wrong with families that don’t.

His wife’s family don’t consider his daughters to be their family, either, and there’s no suggestion that he has a problem with this.

Imo it’s more likely he’s pissed off because now he and his wife have to pay for driving lessons.

You don't have to read a post to realise it's the nth iteration of an AI copy and paste.

Maybe it's a skill due to my job.

All we can deduce is that the step-niece is polite 😅

Maybe her stepfather could learn from her. As could some of the posters on this thread.

Of course it's a huge disparity. She's not OPs niece. I don't imagine she thinks if her self as ops niece, and wouldn't expect such a gift

Yeah, it wasn’t hard to skim and see yet more bullets and bold and certain words jumping out and know it was more of the same shite. Certainly didn’t need to be read.