Employee on onlyfans

Oh yes, sorry if I wasn't clear. I do think teachers, male or female, shouldn't be involved in online sex work. Even with the best of parental precautions, in 2023 it's likely teens or even children will come across it.

It is probably blameworthy on the teacher'a part imo, but frankly I don't care enough to blame them. He/she might just not give a shit about their students, or might get a kick out of the thought of their students discovering it. Or might just be financially desperate. But I don't blame vodka manufacturers just because I don't allow my young children any.

I just don't think it's healthy for children in terms of:

(1) Safeguarding, as becoming comfortable with seeing adults in their life in a sexual context may lead to unflagged sexual abuse down the road.

And (2) their views of gender equality / respect, as I mentioned earlier with regard to the prevalent male dominance / female subservience themes in online porn. I earlier mentioned boys, but this applies for girls as well in terms of getting wrong ideas about how they should be treated by males. Especially if it's their male or female teacher reinforcing that!

That said, I understand some posters are alright with their children's teachers doing online porn, and I'm (genuinely) happy to disagree.

So @Tantai how do you square your obvious hypocrisy in your post when you say:
but I would most definitely care if my child’s teacher was working in porn. It shows moral and character failures that I wouldn’t want near my children

And then castigate all the PPs by saying this:

The sheer amount of bitterness and sticking the boot into another woman on this thread has all been one way, and aimed at the op.

What part of 'sticking the boot into another woman" is NOT present in "shows moral and character failures" ?

I don't like porn - it's part of an objectifying rape culture. But I dislike hypocrisy equally.

Put the blame on @Oceniam 's husband's colleague, not the woman. What was the OP's husband's colleague doing, looking at OnlyFans?

And? It’s not illegal. What does it matter to your husband?

You did yes. I still do not understand why he needs to do anything and I understand even less why you need to know what, if anything, he plans to do!

I think you seem more bothered by this than your husband, OP. 😂 as long as he doesn’t pay or subscribe, I think you’ll be just grand.

You’d think, wouldn’t you? Why can’t people just mind their own business?

Your Husband needs sacking as he obviously can't keep anything confidential. Please let us know what trust he works for and his name so we can have him sacked and stop his wife being so snooty while we are at it.

I’m really surprised by how many people think that anything you might do out of the workplace is fine and none of your employers business. That’s really not the case in many professions. Is she a nurse? Part of the code of professional conduct is to “promote professionalism and trust”. Not sure getting your tits out (assuming that’s what she’s doing there) is a particularly professional look to be honest.

Your dh needs to look at the trusts social media policy and discuss with HR op. That or tell her to change her only fans account and make sure going forward she is not recognisable on there.

What was that person doing perving on Only Fans to start with?

So it is OK for them to use the platform to view content but not for the other employee to have a profile on it?

Talk about double standards...

It is none of your husband's business. As others as said it has zero impact on her work, does not mention the company and she is not even interacting with the public.

You are not here to pass moral judgement on what people do in their own time.

He's a fairly shit one if he told you about it and needs you to ask the internet what to do.

He should have dealt with it on a need to know basis (and his wife is in the 'doesn't need to know' group) and followed the hospital's policy on social media and public behaviour which probably includes reporting it to HR, following their advice and not disclosing it to the general public.

So it is OK for them to use the platform to view content but not for the other employee to have a profile on it?

This a million times @Startingagainandagain

@Auntiesitting I'm not sure how Onlyfans works in detail, but I think it is 100% gated and paid for? Or you have to download it and sign up or something? So it is a bit different from lack of professionalism becoming public on other social media platforms, in that if someone finds it, they are a very active and deliberate porn consumer. Kind of like "we're all in this together". 😅

Yeah, hopefully she’s seen this thread and gets a complaint into HR about it if he reports her.

@TheJabberwocky and just for the record, my 'oh god really' was genuine curiosity directed to the PP! I'm actually fascinated that some parents are OK with their kids – to put it very crudely – watching Ms Brown get on all fours and Mr Smith jerk one out for the camera. Or is it that they think their kids will never come across it anyway?

I'm quite morally apathetic – I do have some thoughts/feelings, but my apathy is more overriding since it's not my kids – but my curiosity is genuine. Do you mind explaining your reasoning more? Again, I promise this isn't a "gotcha" post, but genuine curiosity.

I don t know many nurses who have an administrator as a manager (think op said something above admin). So I’m assuming the OF person is admin/clerical. So the nmc code doesn’t mean anything.

If the employee doesn’t mention her place of work she is not bringing her place of work into disrepute. Doesn’t matter that a colleague recognised her.

The only possible thing is if her contract says you must get permission for a second job. My nhs contract says this. However the general understanding is that this is just to ensure that a second job doesn’t impact on your substantive role….ie not being available to work. I have never known it be enforced for part time, self employed type roles. Loads of people do BodyShop or Avon, and nobody thinks to mention this/ask permission. So your dh needs to tread very carefully because if he does discipline her for this she could well have grounds for complaint.

Yeah you did

But you didnt answer what the fuck it has to do with him?

Is she wearing a uniform or displaying any company recognisable merchandise? Is she advertising at work?
Does she work in a sensitive area?

edit- Your nosy DH works in hospital admin

Sorry, I didn't know that you were the second job Police.
You should be ashamed of yourself, and should delete this thread for interfering with other people's lives who are simply trying to earn a living.

I think people are just fairly pissed off that OP is trying to mislead us. Her threads in the past have been about her problems with her husband sexting a young woman (24) who he works with and (separate thread) following a young woman (24) who he works with who poses scantily clad on Instagram. If this is yet another young woman (from work, 24) that's a massive coincidence. People suspect this latest post was made in the hope that MN would unite in disgust and say that he must get her sacked. I, for one, suspect there is no colleague who told her husband, and that the OP discovered the only fans account herself. People don't like being lied to.

I would simply mind my own business.

It would be hilarious if OP reports that woman, the woman loses her job / quits (which isn't likely anyway as she's admin), and goes full time on Onlyfans, thus providing OP's husband with a full time supply of material and sexting.

By the same token a manager asking his wife to start a thread on AIBU to.ask.whst he should do.in this situation, isn't professional either and I'm not sure HR would be impressed by it.

I wasn’t the person who said anything about not minding their teacher doing porn. I simply pointed out that your original post sounded contradictory.

But as you’re asking, I’d have no more of a problem with my child watching their teacher so porn than watching anyone else do porn. Everyone who does porn is a human being. I’d want to know what my underage child was doing on Only Fans. And I’d make it clear that the consumer of porn is worse than the perpetrator.

But I also know that I would do anything to put food in my children’s bellies and clothes on their backs and a roof over their heads. And that would include sex work if I had to. I recognise that I’m extremely lucky not to be in that position. I think any of us can find ourselves in positions that can be compromising as situations can change in a flash. So I wouldn’t judge a teacher who felt that was their only option.

Ah I see you have mis quoted me… I never said all NHS employees are idiots - I said HE was an idiot….

Yes people talk about work with their partners but is he really that incompetent that he can’t deal with this on his own?

And does the wife/partner really need to post on a forum to ask random people what to do??

I'm not allowed any side jobs or hussles in my job. It's in my contract. So I don't. If there's no such clause in this person's contract, she can do what she likes in her spare time. Sticky beak out.

I don't understand why you're asking us.
Your husband is the manager he will know what to do. If there's a policy regarding such activity then he can escalate it to HR and follow disciplinary process.
If not, which is likely - then he'll keep his nose out and do nothing, and respect the employees privacy or he could end up the wrong end of a grievance complaint.