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Original poster

Inappropriate ambulance ride

283 replies

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 13:21

I couldn't get up out of bed two days ago. I woke up with a really bad back. Every step that I took was agony.

I couldn't move off the couch to even get into my car, to go to the doctors. I waited a couple of days to rest my back, it didn't get any better, I called the doctor and she advised me to get an ambulance to bring me to a+e.

The ambulance arrived. I could barely walk. The paramedics were two men in their fifties. They were totally unprofessional. They were laughing and joking and rude.

I think the way they treated me was absolutely shocking.

They sat me in a chair in the ambulance. First of all they were asking me where the pain was. I said that it was in my lower back.

The first man said "ah it is probably tight arse syndrome. You probanly have a tight arse hahahaha.
Well You're not getting any younger are you? How old are you?"

I said that I'm in late thirties
.
He said "see youre not getting any younger. You probanly have a tight arse. I'm old myself".

Then he came right up to me and said these exact words.

"Im old , I have rust on my undercarriage ".

Talking about his genitals. Isn't that shocking.

Then the second guy asked me "are you married.". I said "no".

The first guy said to the other guy "ah Jim you should ask her for her number then hahahaha".

The second guy said "no I wont". And then he said to me "he is always trying to set me up with people".

He didn't seem to realise that it is completely inappropriate to ever try to set up a paramedic colleague with a female patient who is alone, vulnerable, in pain, in the back of an ambulance.

All the while this "banter" was going on I was sitting there in a lot of pain, feeling a bit nervous.

The first paramedic then gave me some pain relief that I had to inhale. He asked me "do you drink". I said "occasionally". He said "how often". I said "about once a month". He said "this medication will be like a free night out for you hahahaha". "You'll have a good time on this".

He then shouted at me about the way I was holding the pain relief thing. He said "no don't hold it that way, oh for god sake I'll put it on you, I'm getting fed up with you". Because you had to loop a part of it around your hand.

I was at this stage worried about taking anything that would make me a bit lightheaded in front of them
Then I inhaled it. And the paramedic said to the other paramedic "ah you can tell that she's done this before ahhhahahaha" .

I wasn't laughing back at this. And the second paramedic glared at me and said "she's a very serious girl". I was thinking "of course I'm serious and not having a hilarious laugh, I'm in pain, in the back of an ambulance!". They were so unprofessional it was shocking.

When we got to the hospital, the first guy wheeled me in, brought me to the nurse and said "here is this one with back pain. Wait till I tell you - she asked me in the ambulance to go for a drink with her after this ahaha".I said "no I didn't". The nurse said "is he telling fibs". And rolled her eyes a little bit.

They were absolutely shocking. I couldn't believe the two of them

OP posts:
Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:00

Teder · 16/11/2023 19:54

I always like to believe what people say and I know most women have experienced sexual harassment and assault. I’m unclear what you want from this thread.
You’ve said what happened but you won’t report it. That’s your choice.
What more do you want people to say?

I don't want people to say anything in particular. I just want to come on and talk about the trauma that I experienced with other women on here.

That is why most people post on Mumsnet, they usually post about their problems and trauma with their partners/families/ work /friends/healthcare etc.

That is what Mumsnet is for

OP posts:
Flickersy · 16/11/2023 20:01

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:00

I don't want people to say anything in particular. I just want to come on and talk about the trauma that I experienced with other women on here.

That is why most people post on Mumsnet, they usually post about their problems and trauma with their partners/families/ work /friends/healthcare etc.

That is what Mumsnet is for

Show quote history

No OP, talking about trauma is what therapists are for. I really really think it would help you, honestly.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:02

Flickersy · 16/11/2023 20:01

No OP, talking about trauma is what therapists are for. I really really think it would help you, honestly.

Show quote history

No it's what Mumsnet is for. People come on here to talk about their problems with their partner, their children , their doctor, their friends, school drop offs.

Do a quick search and you'll see thousands of other people talking about their problems on here.

OP posts:
Flickersy · 16/11/2023 20:04

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:02

No it's what Mumsnet is for. People come on here to talk about their problems with their partner, their children , their doctor, their friends, school drop offs.

Do a quick search and you'll see thousands of other people talking about their problems on here.

Show quote history

Problems with school mums and disputes with neighbours over parking are not the same as trauma.

Trauma needs to be worked through properly with a qualified professional.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:04

YeahIsaidit · 16/11/2023 19:59

Midwife shouted suck it at me when I was given gas and air during labour...

Show quote history

That is not the bad part and you know it.

Him saying "Suck it" is not the bad part.

The bad part is him saying to the other man "you can tell that she has done that before"

While I was sucking.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:06

Flickersy · 16/11/2023 20:04

Problems with school mums and disputes with neighbours over parking are not the same as trauma.

Trauma needs to be worked through properly with a qualified professional.

Show quote history

I completely disagree. And you're not qualified to give anyone that advice. Therapy is not good for everyone. I know a couple of people that went to therapy and they said that they felt worse after going. Many people don't like telling their problems face to face to a total stranger.

What does help many people is being able to go online and talk about their problems anonymously. Which is why people come on mumsnet and talk about their problems.

OP posts:
Shefliesonherownwings · 16/11/2023 20:08

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:02

No it's what Mumsnet is for. People come on here to talk about their problems with their partner, their children , their doctor, their friends, school drop offs.

Do a quick search and you'll see thousands of other people talking about their problems on here.

Show quote history

OP I’m sorry for what happened to you, it must have been horrific to deal with that when you were feeling so vulnerable. I do think you should report it but understand the reason why you don’t want to.

I do agree with the above though, I don’t think this is the right place for you to work through this, especially given some of the negative responses. This was a traumatic incident and mumsnet isn’t the right place to help you with that. Taking to a professional would be a good idea to help you process it all. I do wonder if it might be better for you to step away, especially if those negative comments are making you feel worse.

wherethewestwindblows · 16/11/2023 20:13

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 13:36

It just shows you how people get away with it

. They are so bad that people think it can't have happened.

Or maybe society is trained to see the woman as a liar.

I swear on my life this happened. Though if people don't believe me on here if I tell anyone in real life, will I be believed.

Is there CCTV on ambulances. I'm in Ireland
There should be , shouldn't there?

Referencing my Trust here, CCTV that isn't purposely recorded (i.e. the crew have activated it intentionally for safety purposes) is automatically deleted/overwritten within 24 hours.

MalcolmsMiddle · 16/11/2023 20:13

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 19:11

Oh I see in my op that I forgot to write about the very last thing that happened. The two men said so much crap to me that it was hard to write down everything they said.

When I got out of the ambulance , one man was behind me still in the ambulance, and the other man was down on the ground. I was struggling down the steps. The guy on the ambulance said to the other man on the ground "she wants you to catch her Jim! Haha!"

Then the first guy put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me into the nurse.

When we got to the nurse The ambulance guy made one last 'hilarious' final joke about my back pain to the nurse.

The joke was that I must sleep like how an animal sleeps, to get the back pain that I did. It wasn't funny.
The nurse didn't find it funny.
The nurse apologised to me. The nurse turned to me and said to me "I'm sorry about that Ann".

He said "I'm only having the craic!!"

She apologised for him . She didn't think he was funny either

Wow, what else will you remember tomorrow?

Preeeettyprettygood · 16/11/2023 20:17

You having a rant about this actually isn't helping you though is it? I'd also advise you talk to a professional as this seems to be an ongoing issue with health care professionals. Whilst I don't doubt some of what you written was said, the fact this appears to be an issue every time seems you need to seek further help to talk.

You can rant all you like, but I don't see what the end goal is apart from it not helping you. You seem to have issues with every person you come into contact with.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:19

Preeeettyprettygood · 16/11/2023 20:17

You having a rant about this actually isn't helping you though is it? I'd also advise you talk to a professional as this seems to be an ongoing issue with health care professionals. Whilst I don't doubt some of what you written was said, the fact this appears to be an issue every time seems you need to seek further help to talk.

You can rant all you like, but I don't see what the end goal is apart from it not helping you. You seem to have issues with every person you come into contact with.

Edited

Who said it's an issue every time?..I didn't say that.

I said that I went to my male dentist recently and it was fine.

I said I have gone to several male doctors and they have been fine..

This has not been an issue every time so why did you say that.

OP posts:
Preeeettyprettygood · 16/11/2023 20:22

No, you didn't say that and I did. But more times than not there's issues.
If I was treated like that I'd be making a complaint as its unacceptable, you've chosen not to so that's your choice.

There seems to be a common factor

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 20:33

Preeeettyprettygood · 16/11/2023 20:22

No, you didn't say that and I did. But more times than not there's issues.
If I was treated like that I'd be making a complaint as its unacceptable, you've chosen not to so that's your choice.

There seems to be a common factor

"there appears to be a common factor".

Maybe it's that men are inappropriate.

A teenage girl in Ireland recently reported her male swimming coach for talking picturrs of her when she was naked.

I dont think i would say to her "maybe you're the common factor".

I think i would say to her "that man is a criminal"

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 16/11/2023 20:33

I've had all sorts of things said to me in ambulances.

Ive been in there with screaming gallbladder pain, fast AF, suspected heart attack, broken ribs...

If I don't like whats said, well in the first instance I'll give it back ... so 'suck it... you can tell she's done that before' would get a sharp 'nah you'd better show me how, you'll have far more experience than me'...

If I didn't feel I could do that, probably a 'you're not so funny as you think you are, I'll need a bit more gas and air before you make me laugh'...

I don't know what you want us to say really - if you felt uncomfortable and that it was inappropriate, then complain. If you don't want to do that, don't. If you hate where you live so badly, move?

When i fell off the sofa coughing, breaking a rib in the process, the hairy arsed paramedic offered me an ibuprofen out of his pocket and suggested I could in fact stand up and sit on the sofa again and not lie on the floor crying. Or I could stay put, they'd have to get the Fatties Truck (i don't fit in the normal one) and probably get craned out the front door in front of my horrible neighbours.

Harsh, yes but actually it is what I needed to hear to cut through the hysteria of the pain. He was actually kind though it doesn't sound it written down, he helped me up, got me breathing regularly and explained the options honestly.

Once I was able to chuck insults back at him we agreed I did not need to go in, he did an ECG just in case, checked i hadn't punctured a lung etc, made a brew and fucked off once i was clearly not in shock and not dying.

Im certain its not an approach that would suit everyone but equally im sure its not one he'd try on everyone either.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 21:03

To anyone who sneered at me for being too sensitive and dramatic and over exaggerating, maybe one day you will find yourself alone and on pain and in the back of an ambulance with two men laughing at you. Karma goes around.

A woman that I went to school with posted online that she had been abused by à nurse in hospital. One of our friends came to me and said that she thought this woman was being dramatic and making it up.

Much much later the aecond woman complained to me about a nurse verbally and physically assaulting her in hospital . She made a complaint about them. Sbe didn't see how bad it was until it happened to her

OP posts:
BlueEyedPeanut · 16/11/2023 21:09

If you or your old school friend have a history of tall tales and exaggerating then it's understandable when other people might have doubts about the next dramatic instalment of your life story.

RollerGirl7 · 16/11/2023 21:15

Every single ambulance in the UK has internal and external audio and visual recording whenever the engine is turned on (and for 2 hours after the engine is switched off)

You need to put in an official complaint asap and request this footage now. Often it gets overridden after 1-3 weeks.

If this is true then these men should be fired and not working with vulnerable people at all

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 21:16

BlueEyedPeanut · 16/11/2023 21:09

If you or your old school friend have a history of tall tales and exaggerating then it's understandable when other people might have doubts about the next dramatic instalment of your life story.

No we don't have a history of tall tales.

I don't remember that school friend ever saying that she was abused by anyone else. Yet when she said she was abused by the nurse some people didnt want to believe her.

I don't think it's necessarily that they didn't believe her. They just didn't even want to think about it happening , so it was easier to say that she was exaggerating .

It's easier for someone to think "she was exagerrating, the nurse was just having a laugh" then for someone to think "the nurse abused her while she was sick"

It is how many people's minds work. They don't like seeing dark nasty things, so they will change it in their mind so they don't have to see it. Like "oh the nurse was only having a laugh etc"

OP posts:
Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 21:17

RollerGirl7 · 16/11/2023 21:15

Every single ambulance in the UK has internal and external audio and visual recording whenever the engine is turned on (and for 2 hours after the engine is switched off)

You need to put in an official complaint asap and request this footage now. Often it gets overridden after 1-3 weeks.

If this is true then these men should be fired and not working with vulnerable people at all

Thanks I'm not in the UK. I'm in the Republic of Ireland. I will check tomorrow about CCTV here

OP posts:
Lovemychair · 16/11/2023 21:18

You and your friends have had really bad luck with medical professionals.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 16/11/2023 21:21

Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 16:21

They can control the CCTV.

Paramedics on this thread have said the the CCTV is only turned on when the paramedics want it to be turned on. Which is ridiculous.

Show quote history

I thought you'd already said there would be no point in the cctv as they only voice activated it after all of the things said?

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 16/11/2023 21:23

Lovemychair · 16/11/2023 21:18

You and your friends have had really bad luck with medical professionals.

I'm not friends with her. She is someone that I went to school with 20 years ago. I went to school with 800 people.

That one of those 800 people had a problem with a medical professional is not unusual is it.

Also do you think them being a medic professional makes them better than other people?

Medic professionals are just a group of human beings like you and me. They have some good people and they have some bad people in their very large group of people.

OP posts:
PostItInABook · 16/11/2023 21:26

The internal cctv on uk ambulances is activated by pressing the panic strip located on the ceiling. Some have an additional panic button located on the side panel. Once activated it will record the previous 5 seconds and onwards.

The external cctv is activated when the ignition is turned on.

I would imagine it is similar for Irish vehicles too.

allaloneandlost · 16/11/2023 21:33

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Although haven't really needed the NHS as a patient, I've worked there and some people are truly great but sadly others really aren't.

It's a shame there's been so much piling in and negativity on here. Your experience is a horrible thing to happen to somebody and could be happening to others.

Actually, this thread proves that the public generally perceive NHS staff to be angels. Some are but again, many have other agendas. If this was a thread about male police officers that may gain sympathy as they're generally perceived to be the bad guys and there's been cases in the media.