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Original poster

Intense dejavu episode

497 replies

flowngo · 02/10/2023 21:26

Posting for traffic as spooked -

Have spoken to my best friend who's a GP but also posting to see if anyone has experienced similar.

This eve was waiting for my boyfriend to ring me to catch up about some future plans, we had been together with my child earlier this eve, low key dinner and chill time, no alcohol etc.
around 2030 I thought I will just go up to bed (out of character for me at 2030) and he can wake me up to chat later on. As I thought this, I had a phone call from him, except it was like a pocket dial as he sounded a little far away but he was saying things like "...stripper pole and don't give me any bullshit about not drinking, I know you drank in Barcelona" - of course I was immediately thinking is he ok, has he been drinking, who is he talking to, what's going on. I hung up and immediately texted to say call me asap, and googled intense deja vu to see what on earth was happening. The words were consistent with something we would have a bit of a row about a good while back.

He rang me and said he hadn't realised he had pocket dialled me, and was confused about the narrative I had heard.
Of course I was completely spooked by this, my friend said to contact the GP tomorrow morning, I know that Neuro won't see me overnight at ED so unless I have any symptoms of an upcoming seizure I'm not sure what to do!

OP posts:
Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:06

BeignetPommes · 03/10/2023 00:05

I think the most likely scenario is that he was discussing this particular argument with someone and he was repeating what he'd said to you at the time... and he's now lying to you because it would be awkward to admit that he was discussing what sounds like a private argument with a third party

I agree. DH once did something really stupid some years ago. It's all blown over now but I've since confided in a friend with the details and I get cross all over again. So it could sound quite heated if somebody overheard.

I can't imagine holding onto this kind of irritation but there we go.

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Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:07

@watcherintherye hope not as we are watching it together Grin it was so very identical to this previous argument we'd had.

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Takeabreather23 · 03/10/2023 00:08

Freshstarts23 · 02/10/2023 23:47

This. It’s a new relationship I’m not sure why you have so much trust.

In the nicest way, I feel like you may have some unresolved MH issues and your bf is using this to his advantage. I could be completely wrong but your reactions seem so drastic and over the top.

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@Freshstarts23 i think he’s using the mental health “possible” issue to his advantage .
OP sounds vulnerable . Perfect for manipulating.
He gets away with whatever as OP thinks it’s her.
After just a matter of months maybe he would be thinking oh this sound likes a lot to take on . Instead he’s supportive and encouraging you to speak to doctors , Medicals , specialist . ( Over a pocket call) really .

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 03/10/2023 00:08

flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:03

This rehashing of arguments, I never realised it was so common! Or at least amongst mumsnetters ... it is possible, he was then embarrassed when called out on it. Bit odd but then anything is possible these days.

Time off work not possible but it's a niggly worry rather than an acute omg must immediately get a head CT asap.

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You said you'll talk to a neurologist tomorrow. That is not what happens with a niggly worry. Do you know how long it takes to see a specialist in this country????

theescapeladder · 03/10/2023 00:10

I agree with @Karmaisagod explanation, it happened to me too.

Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:11

It would be normal amongst my social/work group to have an informal discussion with eachother about a niggle, signposting etc. Not in a vulnerable state, don't need a smothering approach either to looking after me tonight from him.
Absolutely no need for either of us to stick around with eachother if we aren't feeling it, both have own homes and incomes and lives. No ties.

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Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:11

@SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh I said an informal chat, I.e. not a clinic consultation. And yes, very aware of waiting lists.

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Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:12

Amazed no one has put this down as woo thoughts!

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Moonlightdust · 03/10/2023 00:14

Why has nobody picked up on the fact that you said he has a dodgy phone that needs charging every 10 minutes? It randomly dialled your number, it seems like a glitch. I have read of WhatsApp voice notes sounding and looking like calls where screen goes blank. Perhaps after you had that argument about drinking months ago, he sent a voice note that has just replayed itself or for some reason didn’t send until it called you as his phone has a malfunction? Is there anyone technical on here who could look into this theory?

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 03/10/2023 00:16

flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:11

@SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh I said an informal chat, I.e. not a clinic consultation. And yes, very aware of waiting lists.

How the heck can a neurologist help with an informal chat? They don't do that, they do proper diagnosis. Why would a highly trained specialist have an emergency chat with you about a potential hallucination. They can't do anything about it, can they? Apart listing the 600 things it could be and having no idea which one it is...

PinkMoscatoLover · 03/10/2023 00:16

@Moonlightdust you suggested something similar up thread. Voice notes won’t play when you’re on a phone call on an iPhone. Let alone allow the other person on the line to somehow hear the voice note

Imsureitsprobablymebut · 03/10/2023 00:16

8 pages in and I can confirm

  • he dialled your phone
  • you received his call
  • you heard his voice
Karmaisagod · 03/10/2023 00:18

It did? That's a relief. Until I read OP's post I'd never come across another instance of it. I know someone said that can't happen, and I agree 100%, but we couldn't think of anything else - I imagine neither could you.

Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:19

Imsureitsprobablymebut · 03/10/2023 00:16

8 pages in and I can confirm

  • he dialled your phone
  • you received his call
  • you heard his voice

Yes, the salient points being, he was saying things that haven't been spoken about for many months, they were completely inconsistent with how he had been talking a few hours earlier or indeed over text more recently. When I spoke out saying hello? Etc. no reply. Just a monologue.

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Karmaisagod · 03/10/2023 00:20

That was to @theescapeladder!

VanGoghsDog · 03/10/2023 00:20

flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:03

This rehashing of arguments, I never realised it was so common! Or at least amongst mumsnetters ... it is possible, he was then embarrassed when called out on it. Bit odd but then anything is possible these days.

Time off work not possible but it's a niggly worry rather than an acute omg must immediately get a head CT asap.

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Like I said - really odd replies!

I never said anything about it being common, but people do do it (I do, but I'm autistic and it's a known issue).

Also, what on earth do you mean by "anything is possible these days"?

And, if you're ill, you need time off work. Especially if you work providing any kind of healthcare. You need time off because of your anxiety and slightly PTSD type reaction to this. Not because of the thing itself, which I am confident was not itself a medical episode.

Toseland · 03/10/2023 00:20

flowngo · Yesterday 22:42
Why would he have a heated discussion with a friend months and months after the original issue and argument?
Cos perhaps he's still pissed off about whatever it was or it's an old wound and something new has triggered him and he has bought it up again, the words before the ones you overheard were probably "and I said to her..."
Why you are saying that you think it was a hallucination though is odd, and unsettling, are you avoiding something?

Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:20

@SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh well in my circles it is something we would do! They can either signpost me to mental health services, GP, an anxiety helpline or whatever. They won't just ignore me speaking to them, I'm not angling for a thorough consult here.

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Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:22

@VanGoghsDog a few people have mentioned on here that they have conversations out loud with themselves, rehashing past arguments etc. I've never come across this.

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Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:22

Toseland · 03/10/2023 00:20

flowngo · Yesterday 22:42
Why would he have a heated discussion with a friend months and months after the original issue and argument?
Cos perhaps he's still pissed off about whatever it was or it's an old wound and something new has triggered him and he has bought it up again, the words before the ones you overheard were probably "and I said to her..."
Why you are saying that you think it was a hallucination though is odd, and unsettling, are you avoiding something?

I can't imagine the arrival of the Tesco delivery would've triggered him, he didn't continue this diatribe once we got on the phone properly after this episode.

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Hardly123 · 03/10/2023 00:25

Do you work in healthcare OP? Are you talking about going private? I am just wondering as it is very difficult to access NHS medical services in the UK currently so your responses feel like maybe you're in a different country.

Separately, I hope you're okay... you sound as if you might not be quite yourself at the moment.

Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:26

Hardly123 · 03/10/2023 00:25

Do you work in healthcare OP? Are you talking about going private? I am just wondering as it is very difficult to access NHS medical services in the UK currently so your responses feel like maybe you're in a different country.

Separately, I hope you're okay... you sound as if you might not be quite yourself at the moment.

UK based, it's the norm in my area. Accept this might be different to others.

I'm quite myself thank you, had a very pleasant day by all accounts. I was very thrown by tonight.

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Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:27

If I was under immense stress I might consider time off work in relation to this plus the increased tiredness recently but I'm not, and I'm also post viral so just going to chalk it up as one of those things and see how things go with the boyfriend.

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theescapeladder · 03/10/2023 00:28

Karmaisagod · 03/10/2023 00:18

It did? That's a relief. Until I read OP's post I'd never come across another instance of it. I know someone said that can't happen, and I agree 100%, but we couldn't think of anything else - I imagine neither could you.

Yes, it was really creepy and unnerving tbh. The way I could hear my partner's voice talking to me but not responding when I started freaking out as it dawned on me it was a previous conversation being replayed 🤯 And coincidentally we were also abroad, or one of us was. Can't remember for certain.. In fact I have forgotten about it until reading your post.
Like a David Lynch movie 🤣

Hardly123 · 03/10/2023 00:30

Okay..glad you had a good day..I am going to get some sleep myself. Take care.