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Original poster

Intense dejavu episode

497 replies

flowngo · 02/10/2023 21:26

Posting for traffic as spooked -

Have spoken to my best friend who's a GP but also posting to see if anyone has experienced similar.

This eve was waiting for my boyfriend to ring me to catch up about some future plans, we had been together with my child earlier this eve, low key dinner and chill time, no alcohol etc.
around 2030 I thought I will just go up to bed (out of character for me at 2030) and he can wake me up to chat later on. As I thought this, I had a phone call from him, except it was like a pocket dial as he sounded a little far away but he was saying things like "...stripper pole and don't give me any bullshit about not drinking, I know you drank in Barcelona" - of course I was immediately thinking is he ok, has he been drinking, who is he talking to, what's going on. I hung up and immediately texted to say call me asap, and googled intense deja vu to see what on earth was happening. The words were consistent with something we would have a bit of a row about a good while back.

He rang me and said he hadn't realised he had pocket dialled me, and was confused about the narrative I had heard.
Of course I was completely spooked by this, my friend said to contact the GP tomorrow morning, I know that Neuro won't see me overnight at ED so unless I have any symptoms of an upcoming seizure I'm not sure what to do!

OP posts:
Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:49

frogswimming · 02/10/2023 23:47

How much time do you spend with him? People who live together obviously have affairs all the time and their partners don't know. If you don't live together it would be even easier to hide. It's more likely than you having a Co incidental hallucination of hearing his voice at the exact time he rang you for the duration of the time he rang you.

A lot, and also v aware of affairs happening in plain sight but I'm thinking this is v unlikely.

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Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:50

Why would he choose this evening to gaslight me rather than any time when we have consumed alcohol, little bit aggy about anything else etc.

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Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:50

Obviously there is no set timeline for gaslighting but it seems very unlikely tonight of all nights.

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frogswimming · 02/10/2023 23:51

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:43

I can understand how it could be perceived as gaslighting but why bring up something that I would immediately come back on him with a retort etc. Also a topic which he knows I have my own viewpoint on which I won't be swayed by.

So he can make you doubt yourself and at the same time get his point across without you having chance to disagree.

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:52

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:50

Why would he choose this evening to gaslight me rather than any time when we have consumed alcohol, little bit aggy about anything else etc.

That is such a weird question... There is no good/logical time to do something as crazy as gaslighting someone. They do it when they feel like doing it.

And if someone wants you to think you are crazy, obviously they will do it when you are sober, so you can't blame it on the alcohol

(we are helping Lisa Jewel write her next novel aren't we?)

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:52

It really isn't his style (I don't think anyway). He'd rather split and move on than do that.

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Karmaisagod · 02/10/2023 23:52

OP, I think I know what's happened here, because something similar happened to me several years ago. One evening I was in the street in a foreign city having a mobile phone conversation with DH. We'd already spoken once earlier but had got cut off, because the mobile connection wasn't great as I was abroad. I slowly started to notice that the responses DH was giving to the things I was saying were making no sense, as if he was responding to something or someone else, or not listening properly. A couple of times he spoke over me, in a way similar to when there's a delay on the call. I started saying his name to try and catch his attention, because I thought maybe he was distracted, but he didn't respond and kept making these comments that were just at odds with what I was saying. All of a sudden it dawned on me that the things he was saying were exactly the same, word for word, that he'd been saying during our previous conversation. WORD FOR WORD. I freaked out and shouted "what's going on?!?!", or "what are you playing at?!?!" but I couldn't get him to stop. I hang up because, like you, I couldn't carry on with the call - it was such a bloody trip.

I called him back right away and he was none the wiser. He hadn't been on the phone to me those last few minutes - he'd got cut off again and was waiting for me to try to get through.

We were very confused about what had happened, and the best we could come up with was that the network had somehow recorded and played that chunk of his part of the conversation to me after cutting us off the second time. We don't know how, or why, but we couldn't think of any other explanation. It was scary and freaky and weird, and I was very shaken by It. As I was reading your posts I was suddenly reminded of it after all these years.

I know this may still not seem the right explanation, but I wanted to offer it to you as it is a less worrying one (and, given my experience, more likely) than a brain tumour or insanity. And at the time I also thought either my husband or I were mad, too.

kirinm · 02/10/2023 23:54

I have auras pre seizure which are very much a sense of de ja void. I just suddenly feel like I've been in that moment before but almost immediately question it too. For me, by the time I have an aura, I'm in the seizure.

I don't think whatever you felt is putting you at risk of a seizure. I think you'd have had one by now.

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:54

"We were very confused about what had happened, and the best we could come up with was that the network had somehow recorded and played that chunk of his part of the conversation to me after cutting us off the second time."

Huh? that can't happen.

frogswimming · 02/10/2023 23:55

You've only been together for five months and you don't live together. People can live together for fifty years and find out their partner had a whole other family. Maybe it is his style and this is the first time you've experienced it.

AliciaLime · 02/10/2023 23:55

It sounds like you’re saying you’re thinking something was already wrong because of the 8.30 bedtime feeling and then immediately after that he coincidentally and genuinely pocket dials you (that shows on your phone too as a received call?) and that those two things happened together but that his part of that pocket dial was misheard by you as a conversation specific to an argument you had months ago? And that’s why you think you had a neurological event? Have you had any other strange symptoms?

TheSpikySpinosaurus · 02/10/2023 23:55

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 02/10/2023 22:03

I am actually at a loss as to how you've arrived at a neurological problem tbh rather than the obvious which is you overhead an actual conversation.

Yep. This.

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:55

kirinm · 02/10/2023 23:54

I have auras pre seizure which are very much a sense of de ja void. I just suddenly feel like I've been in that moment before but almost immediately question it too. For me, by the time I have an aura, I'm in the seizure.

I don't think whatever you felt is putting you at risk of a seizure. I think you'd have had one by now.

Yes my friend wondered if I was in a post ictal confusion stage and starting to panic about what had possibly happened. I just feel very strongly about it due to family hx which may be irrational but that's just how it is.

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FlissyPaps · 02/10/2023 23:56

Sorry OP but this does not require a visit to the GP. Unless you are suffering extreme anxiety around this and feel medication/counselling is beneficial.

Put your phone down. Have a glass of water or cup of tea. Do some breath work and try to relax. Try and get a good nights sleep, put a comedy on the telly or read a couple of chapters of a nice book you enjoy.

By replying to all the scenarios on here is going to get you even more spooked and confused.

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:57

frogswimming · 02/10/2023 23:55

You've only been together for five months and you don't live together. People can live together for fifty years and find out their partner had a whole other family. Maybe it is his style and this is the first time you've experienced it.

Yes we had an incidence in my extended family. I'm well aware it can happen. I probably stay with him 4 nights a week at least, often with him on my days off too. If he's got someone else on the side then that's fine, I can survive without him, chalk it up as one of those things. But I am 99% confident it's not that.

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LadyWhineglass · 02/10/2023 23:58

Was he watching MAFS?

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:58

AliciaLime · 02/10/2023 23:55

It sounds like you’re saying you’re thinking something was already wrong because of the 8.30 bedtime feeling and then immediately after that he coincidentally and genuinely pocket dials you (that shows on your phone too as a received call?) and that those two things happened together but that his part of that pocket dial was misheard by you as a conversation specific to an argument you had months ago? And that’s why you think you had a neurological event? Have you had any other strange symptoms?

It felt like a strange run of events but again, confirmation bias can be at play. No headaches or anything, bit of struggling with word finding and general tiredness and lethargy recently but nothing too concerning.

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Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:59

LadyWhineglass · 02/10/2023 23:58

Was he watching MAFS?

It's at 9pm

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Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:00

I was just freaked out by it, but clearly not enough to warrant a trip to ED or anything.

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VanGoghsDog · 03/10/2023 00:01

I think you need to see your GP and speak to your employer and have some time off work.

Your responses here are very odd and as you seem to work in healthcare I'd be worried about you going in to work with this episode having happened.

Fwiw, I 100% believe he pocket dialled and was rehashing an old argument out loud, he probably has no recollection of doing that which could be why he's denying it, or he could just be lying.

But either way, your reaction to this seems like one from stress or anxiety, and for that reason I think you should speak to the GP and take some time off work.

HP89 · 03/10/2023 00:02

richteaftw · 02/10/2023 22:39

Confused

Mate, how have you got to 'auditory hallucination'?

As a nurse, can tell you now, ED would absolutely not do your bloods. What planet are you on?

@richteaftw right!?! And getting bloods, EEG and CT following an ‘informal chat’ with Neuro tomorrow!? Not happening.

I think professional help is needed but more in the form of therapy for extreme health anxieties and manipulation from the boyfriend!

Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:03

VanGoghsDog · 03/10/2023 00:01

I think you need to see your GP and speak to your employer and have some time off work.

Your responses here are very odd and as you seem to work in healthcare I'd be worried about you going in to work with this episode having happened.

Fwiw, I 100% believe he pocket dialled and was rehashing an old argument out loud, he probably has no recollection of doing that which could be why he's denying it, or he could just be lying.

But either way, your reaction to this seems like one from stress or anxiety, and for that reason I think you should speak to the GP and take some time off work.

This rehashing of arguments, I never realised it was so common! Or at least amongst mumsnetters ... it is possible, he was then embarrassed when called out on it. Bit odd but then anything is possible these days.

Time off work not possible but it's a niggly worry rather than an acute omg must immediately get a head CT asap.

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watcherintherye · 03/10/2023 00:03

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:59

It's at 9pm

Show quote history

Could have been watching it ‘on demand’?

BeignetPommes · 03/10/2023 00:05

I think the most likely scenario is that he was discussing this particular argument with someone and he was repeating what he'd said to you at the time... and he's now lying to you because it would be awkward to admit that he was discussing what sounds like a private argument with a third party

I agree. DH once did something really stupid some years ago. It's all blown over now but I've since confided in a friend with the details and I get cross all over again. So it could sound quite heated if somebody overheard.

Original poster
flowngo · 03/10/2023 00:05

@HP89 I didn't say I'd want a CT EEG bloods etc, I was pointing out that unless you presented with clear Neuro symptoms etc like a prolonged seizure or sudden onset then you wouldn't be getting any of this quickly. An informal chat, absolutely. They may send me packing, marking me down as the batshit crazy one but that's fine. I'd rather have a little peace of mind.

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