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Original poster

Intense dejavu episode

497 replies

flowngo · 02/10/2023 21:26

Posting for traffic as spooked -

Have spoken to my best friend who's a GP but also posting to see if anyone has experienced similar.

This eve was waiting for my boyfriend to ring me to catch up about some future plans, we had been together with my child earlier this eve, low key dinner and chill time, no alcohol etc.
around 2030 I thought I will just go up to bed (out of character for me at 2030) and he can wake me up to chat later on. As I thought this, I had a phone call from him, except it was like a pocket dial as he sounded a little far away but he was saying things like "...stripper pole and don't give me any bullshit about not drinking, I know you drank in Barcelona" - of course I was immediately thinking is he ok, has he been drinking, who is he talking to, what's going on. I hung up and immediately texted to say call me asap, and googled intense deja vu to see what on earth was happening. The words were consistent with something we would have a bit of a row about a good while back.

He rang me and said he hadn't realised he had pocket dialled me, and was confused about the narrative I had heard.
Of course I was completely spooked by this, my friend said to contact the GP tomorrow morning, I know that Neuro won't see me overnight at ED so unless I have any symptoms of an upcoming seizure I'm not sure what to do!

OP posts:
frogswimming · 02/10/2023 23:37

You can't explain his behaviour.

But the facts are: He called you. You heard his voice speaking. It was distant as if it was a pocket dial. He said he pocket dialled you.

He said some weird things which were similar to an argument you had a while ago.

Most plausible explanation:
You heard something he didn't intend you to hear or wanted to pretend he didn't intend you to hear.

Freshstarts23 · 02/10/2023 23:37

Have you only been with his 5/6 months? So the argument you are referring to was at the beginning of the relationship?

watcherintherye · 02/10/2023 23:37

Could it not, as someone has suggested, have been the tv or radio on in the background, if it sounded distant and tinny?

Takeabreather23 · 02/10/2023 23:38

truecolour · 02/10/2023 22:19

Yeah it’s given me a weird feeling too. Can’t figure out why though

Show quote history

Me three ! delaying the trip
downstairs for same weird feelings .
I’m concerned for the child . Sounds like mum is being gaslight and could be heading for trouble tbh.

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:39

greenhydrangea · 02/10/2023 23:37

It just seems bizarre to be coming up with all these alternate "neurological" explanations, all because you don't want to/can't believe he could be saying what you thought you heard he said, because you two are now in a good place.

Maybe he pocket dialled you as he was having an argument with his other girlfriend. Maybe his male friend was telling him something he didn't approve of, and threw the past back in his face, and he was defending himself. There are lots of practical, real-life explanations for what you heard or what you think you heard that don't require medical investigation - some are perhaps less palatable to consider, but more realistic.

No, I find it completely unbelievable that any of these things could've happened. If he has got another gf she's getting barely any airtime as I am with him a lot etc. Also highly unlikely he was airing off to an old mate. He's the type to keep relationship issues within the home rather than air them to friends and family.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:40

watcherintherye · 02/10/2023 23:37

Could it not, as someone has suggested, have been the tv or radio on in the background, if it sounded distant and tinny?

It was that distant sound you get when someone is on speakerphone, echoey room type thing.

OP posts:
ironcurtains · 02/10/2023 23:41

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:35

The fact that he has not run to come and check if you were OK and stay with you the night after you told him you had auditory hallucinations should be a reason enough to dump him. How uncaring can one be?

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Would you actually go running to your partner and stay the night if they told you about a weird incident they possibly imagined/hallucinated? That seems a bit OTT to me.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 02/10/2023 23:41

Utterly bamboozled by this post. WTF is happening here????

Freshstarts23 · 02/10/2023 23:41

5/6 months is really not long enough to know somebody as well as you think you know him.

TheShellBeach · 02/10/2023 23:41

I can't follow what's happened.

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:42

No concern needed for my child thanks. As I said, not even the content that's rattling me, more the context.

OP posts:
Takeabreather23 · 02/10/2023 23:42

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:39

No, I find it completely unbelievable that any of these things could've happened. If he has got another gf she's getting barely any airtime as I am with him a lot etc. Also highly unlikely he was airing off to an old mate. He's the type to keep relationship issues within the home rather than air them to friends and family.

Show quote history

OP sorry not man has plenty time to live a separate life . You have left him and are going to bed for 8.30 to sleep .

You need to start believing what you have herd . This is insane

greenhydrangea · 02/10/2023 23:43

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:39

No, I find it completely unbelievable that any of these things could've happened. If he has got another gf she's getting barely any airtime as I am with him a lot etc. Also highly unlikely he was airing off to an old mate. He's the type to keep relationship issues within the home rather than air them to friends and family.

Show quote history

So, it is somehow easier/preferable to believe you have hallucinated what you heard? Okay.

I would suggest you heard it. But if not, then you heard some words that you misinterpreted and filled in the blanks in your head.

None of which is deja vu, a seizure, or an auditory hallucination. It's denial and dramaqueening.

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:43

I can understand how it could be perceived as gaslighting but why bring up something that I would immediately come back on him with a retort etc. Also a topic which he knows I have my own viewpoint on which I won't be swayed by.

OP posts:
SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:43

ironcurtains · 02/10/2023 23:41

Would you actually go running to your partner and stay the night if they told you about a weird incident they possibly imagined/hallucinated? That seems a bit OTT to me.

Show quote history

Yes, I would. OP doesn't seem to be thinking straight (if the thread is genuine). It's not just like mentioning you heard something a bit spooky, isn't it? I would be worried for my partner's mental health tbh.

Zoreos · 02/10/2023 23:43

I think as pp have said you may have had a hypnagogic hallucination which is where you can have either visual, auditory (or both) hallucinations just before falling into REM sleep. I regularly have visual hypnopompic hallucinations (upon waking up instead of falling asleep) that are so real for many years I believed they were real. People are generally awake for these hallucinations and fully conscious it’s not the same as a dream or a nightmare. Even though now I am aware they are hallucinations they are still very scary. The weirdest part for me beside the hallucinations themselves are that I always have no recollection of being tired, falling asleep or dreaming before I wake up and experience one. Other than this I can only see one other plausible explanation if this phone call wasn’t real. That is that you fell asleep, we’re dreaming about this argument you had, got woken up to this pocket dial but you were not quite awake enough to comprehend what was going on and thought this is what you heard. A bit like when in films or in real life is someone says your name and it gets briefly incorporated into your dreams before you wake up. The transition between sleeping and waking and vice versa isn’t always simple and can be scary and complex for some. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Zonder · 02/10/2023 23:44

flowngo · 02/10/2023 22:13

I'm just very spooked. I'll speak to neurology tomorrow about it as well as GP but I can't imagine why I would have sudden onset auditory hallucinations.

Have you been seen by neurology before? You can't usually just ring a department in a hospital otherwise.

0lga · 02/10/2023 23:44

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:23

I meant more, no gaslighting behaviours so far from him.

The thing about gaslighting is that most of the time you don’t realise it’s gaslighting .

You just trust someone else’s word more than you trust yourself. So when your perceptions don’t match with theirs, you assume you are wrong .

And from that you extrapolate that you are mentally ill, helped along that route by helpful suggestions from the perpetrator of the abuse.

That sounds a lot like what is happening here. ,

Which one do you think is more probable @flowngo - your Bf is lying to you ?

Or that you had your first auditory hallucination at the exact time that he called you, that it was for the same length of time as the phone call and you hallucinated his voice and not someone else’s ?

And the words said by the person in your hallucination happened to be the type of thing that your Bf has said in the past ?

that’s a lot of huge coincidences, isn’t it ?

I find it disturbing that you are willing to believe this incredible story that you’ve made up in your head rather that the more logical explanation . Which is that you overheard your Bf talking to someone else .

greenhydrangea · 02/10/2023 23:44

This is like one of Sophie Hannah's more annoying novels!

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:45

I've turned up a number of times unannounced during the day/eve and nothing untoward. He would rather split than keep a second woman on the sidelines. As I said, we have separate lifestyles so don't "need eachother" as such.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:46

It was 28 seconds on the call log but the talking seemed more like 10-15 seconds. It was like time moved at a different speed.

OP posts:
AuroraForever · 02/10/2023 23:46

I’m sorry but I think you want there to be something wrong with you. You’ve received a phone call and have proof of it on both sides so that bit isn’t in doubt. What is in doubt is what was actually said. I don’t think you heard what you think you did. I think either he pocket dialled and you heard him talking to someone else about something else entirely but somehow you’ve convinced yourself he was saying things from an old argument which you two have already had in the past. Or he pocket dialled you and didn’t say anything at all in which case it’s possible you were just drifting off to sleep.

frogswimming · 02/10/2023 23:47

How much time do you spend with him? People who live together obviously have affairs all the time and their partners don't know. If you don't live together it would be even easier to hide. It's more likely than you having a Co incidental hallucination of hearing his voice at the exact time he rang you for the duration of the time he rang you.

Freshstarts23 · 02/10/2023 23:47

0lga · 02/10/2023 23:44

The thing about gaslighting is that most of the time you don’t realise it’s gaslighting .

You just trust someone else’s word more than you trust yourself. So when your perceptions don’t match with theirs, you assume you are wrong .

And from that you extrapolate that you are mentally ill, helped along that route by helpful suggestions from the perpetrator of the abuse.

That sounds a lot like what is happening here. ,

Which one do you think is more probable @flowngo - your Bf is lying to you ?

Or that you had your first auditory hallucination at the exact time that he called you, that it was for the same length of time as the phone call and you hallucinated his voice and not someone else’s ?

And the words said by the person in your hallucination happened to be the type of thing that your Bf has said in the past ?

that’s a lot of huge coincidences, isn’t it ?

I find it disturbing that you are willing to believe this incredible story that you’ve made up in your head rather that the more logical explanation . Which is that you overheard your Bf talking to someone else .

Show quote history

This. It’s a new relationship I’m not sure why you have so much trust.

In the nicest way, I feel like you may have some unresolved MH issues and your bf is using this to his advantage. I could be completely wrong but your reactions seem so drastic and over the top.

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:48

Just after I thought about going up to bed early he rang and I thought oh good, and then into this weird exchange. First the muffled shuffling bag noise, then diatribe about alcohol etc. I was shouting, hello, what etc at this point but to no avail.

OP posts:
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