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AIBU?

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Original poster

Intense dejavu episode

497 replies

flowngo · 02/10/2023 21:26

Posting for traffic as spooked -

Have spoken to my best friend who's a GP but also posting to see if anyone has experienced similar.

This eve was waiting for my boyfriend to ring me to catch up about some future plans, we had been together with my child earlier this eve, low key dinner and chill time, no alcohol etc.
around 2030 I thought I will just go up to bed (out of character for me at 2030) and he can wake me up to chat later on. As I thought this, I had a phone call from him, except it was like a pocket dial as he sounded a little far away but he was saying things like "...stripper pole and don't give me any bullshit about not drinking, I know you drank in Barcelona" - of course I was immediately thinking is he ok, has he been drinking, who is he talking to, what's going on. I hung up and immediately texted to say call me asap, and googled intense deja vu to see what on earth was happening. The words were consistent with something we would have a bit of a row about a good while back.

He rang me and said he hadn't realised he had pocket dialled me, and was confused about the narrative I had heard.
Of course I was completely spooked by this, my friend said to contact the GP tomorrow morning, I know that Neuro won't see me overnight at ED so unless I have any symptoms of an upcoming seizure I'm not sure what to do!

OP posts:
Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:23

I meant more, no gaslighting behaviours so far from him.

OP posts:
BellandWhistle · 02/10/2023 23:23

flowngo · 02/10/2023 22:54

More word finding issues than usual, increased tiredness but not a lot else. I am extremely familiar (on a daily basis) with brain tumour symptoms etc and I don't feel convinced it's that but given how my mum presented I think it's fair for me to feel like this.

No psych hx for me but bi polar on my dads side over 2 generations.

Show quote history

Isnt hallucination a more relevant worry for family history of bipolar than tumour?

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:23

toddlermom99 · 02/10/2023 23:21

I genuinely think it's more plausible that he's recorded an argument (maybe accidentally) and it's accidentally played down the phone during the pocket dial.

You can't play something on your phone and call someone at the same time. Try.

If he recorded something and that is what OP heard it, it was playing on the tv or something else...

BellandWhistle · 02/10/2023 23:24

Especially sudden tiredness or mood shift before hence unusually suddenly going to bed at 830

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:25

I would've never considered hallucination as I am so plugged into Neurosurg conditions/symptoms that I can't see past that sometimes. My own fault of course but can't help how we think!

OP posts:
Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:26

BellandWhistle · 02/10/2023 23:24

Especially sudden tiredness or mood shift before hence unusually suddenly going to bed at 830

I wasn't tired though, I just felt like it seemed like a good idea when practically it obviously isn't idea to be roused from slumber by a phone call.

OP posts:
greenhydrangea · 02/10/2023 23:26

You may have misheard what he said, or not - but it is not deja vu.

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:26

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:23

I meant more, no gaslighting behaviours so far from him.

There is always a first time.

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:27

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:26

I wasn't tired though, I just felt like it seemed like a good idea when practically it obviously isn't idea to be roused from slumber by a phone call.

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Make it make sense. you were not tired but felt the need to go to bed at 20.30 when it is not like you to go to bed so early?

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:27

greenhydrangea · 02/10/2023 23:26

You may have misheard what he said, or not - but it is not deja vu.

I referenced deja vu as it was very similar themes to what we have argued about in the past. The Barcelona reference etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:28

I've had a very relaxed day by all accounts. 7 hours sleep, a short nap, home cooked meal etc. nothing out of the ordinary. I can't imagine why I thought it was a good idea to go to sleep or try to at least whilst waiting. Could've just watched tv or whatever.

OP posts:
BellandWhistle · 02/10/2023 23:30

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:26

I wasn't tired though, I just felt like it seemed like a good idea when practically it obviously isn't idea to be roused from slumber by a phone call.

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I mean out of character behaviour before first showing of bipolar or any other condition symptoms since you mentioned bipolar goes back in your family at least 2 generations. but only you know if it's a concern at all

QuestionableMouse · 02/10/2023 23:30

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:21

But I still maintain that you don't go off on a big throwback session to 5 months ago with a mate unless it's one who has just come back from deep in the Amazon and hasn't caught up with you for a long time.

Ime plenty of people hold onto old arguments and drag them back up. It was a few months ago, not years.

greenhydrangea · 02/10/2023 23:30

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:27

I referenced deja vu as it was very similar themes to what we have argued about in the past. The Barcelona reference etc.

Show quote history

Regardless of what you actually heard, or just thought you heard, this is not an instance of deja vu.

Déjà vu - Wikipedia

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:31

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:28

I've had a very relaxed day by all accounts. 7 hours sleep, a short nap, home cooked meal etc. nothing out of the ordinary. I can't imagine why I thought it was a good idea to go to sleep or try to at least whilst waiting. Could've just watched tv or whatever.

Then why didn't you... You are not making any sense... No one goes to bed at 8 when they are not tired and waiting for a phone call, just because they "think it is a good idea".

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:31

I don't know about the precursors to a bipolar dx but I don't feel like I'm heading that way but of course it is a possibility.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 02/10/2023 23:31

DelightfullyDotty · 02/10/2023 23:10

Just a thought….if it was an auditory hallucination, why would it coincide exactly with the length of the phone call? You know the call was 28 seconds long and the voice stopped when you ended the call.

Very good point.

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:32

@SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh well I quite agree, I'm not sure why either! But I had a definite feeling that this was a good idea, hence turning off my do not disturb.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:33

Maybe I end the relationship but it seems a little quick to do that. Obviously one has to have a degree of trust at some point. I don't actually have an issue with what he was saying, more complete confusion at the context.

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 02/10/2023 23:35

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:33

Maybe I end the relationship but it seems a little quick to do that. Obviously one has to have a degree of trust at some point. I don't actually have an issue with what he was saying, more complete confusion at the context.

Why can't you just say to him "dude, I heard you on the phone going on about the argument we had a few months ago? What was that about?" and see what he says. Have you asked him about the call?!

SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh · 02/10/2023 23:35

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:33

Maybe I end the relationship but it seems a little quick to do that. Obviously one has to have a degree of trust at some point. I don't actually have an issue with what he was saying, more complete confusion at the context.

The fact that he has not run to come and check if you were OK and stay with you the night after you told him you had auditory hallucinations should be a reason enough to dump him. How uncaring can one be?

MaidOfSteel · 02/10/2023 23:35

flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:08

But why would he be rehashing an argument from 5 months ago?

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I still occasionally berate myself over work mistakes I made 30 years ago! Out loud. Frustrated at my incompetence. And I don't even work any more so nobody cares. But I still do it. So I can easily believe it of someone else.

greenhydrangea · 02/10/2023 23:37

It just seems bizarre to be coming up with all these alternate "neurological" explanations, all because you don't want to/can't believe he could be saying what you thought you heard he said, because you two are now in a good place.

Maybe he pocket dialled you as he was having an argument with his other girlfriend. Maybe his male friend was telling him something he didn't approve of, and threw the past back in his face, and he was defending himself. There are lots of practical, real-life explanations for what you heard or what you think you heard that don't require medical investigation - some are perhaps less palatable to consider, but more realistic.

Original poster
flowngo · 02/10/2023 23:37

Asked him straightaway and he had no idea what I was talking about, couldn't find any discernible link to the argument ages ago.

OP posts:
Falconfield · 02/10/2023 23:37

OP
I think speaking to your GP tomorrow before you make any other decisions is a very good plan.

If you feel you are experiencing voices in the night you can record them on your phone and play it back to check if they are auditory hallucinations or physically recorded.

If you feel distressed during the night call Mindline.