A bit of a whinge really and wondering if it is the same for other people. I find sandals so bloody hard to find.

Criteria
Leather
Comfortable
Look stylish - not orthopaedic or for the very elderly
Absolutely no velcro
Can't have a solid strap across the toes, as I have skinny feet and they are always too wide
Ankle or heel strap needed
No wedge heels
No high heels
Not completely flat either
No toe posts
No studs, sequins or anything sparkly

Realise that is a lot of criteria, but it must be possible!

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

I know, I know, we’re all shocked.

In the King’s speech today. A new tourist tax that would be applied to overnight accommodation. It’s called the Overnight Visitor Levy Bill and could add around 5% onto hotel, B&B, guesthouse costs. They are pushing it through as we speak, I guess in time for summer.

House next door converted to a HMO and I posted before as I was worried.

I've been hearing footsteps going up and down the stairs for a while and thought it was my imagination. No windows are open, no lights are ever on there is no sound of a toilet flushing and the bins are never put out.

Just after midnight a car was running outside my house across the drive. I turned on my camera and the door next door opened to accept a takeaway.

I have been off work for a week and have not seen anyone enter or exit.

Unbelievablely strange

Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

How much would you pay for this cake?
Not sure if it’s 6 or 8 inches.

I’ve started looking for a wedding dress - not booked yet but very, very low key next year - 2nd marriage for us both and likely a family meal and night in a hotel for us.

I’m 45, 5ft6, hourglass size 14, grey hair and olive skin/brown eyes. Suit bodycon (appreciate not in fashion rn!), midi or maxi length and like structured, modern looks. Ideally sleeves or shoulders covered, though could add a caplet or similar if sleeveless.

I found this Roland Mouret which is a bargain, and assume I would need to size up to a 16?

Or if anyone has other dresses/designers to suggest -
My budget is around 1k (my dream would be this 5k Vivienne Westwood or this). The only other I have liked online is this (bit ott)

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

Help! 37 year old mum of 3 looking for cruise fashion advice.Does anyone want to take on a fashion case??
We have a cruise coming up and I have realised that most of my wardrobe is leggings, jeans and clothes that are more practical than stylish.

I am a size 12 to 14 with a bit of a mum tum and a medium bust that is not quite where it used to be! I want to buy just a few nice pieces rather than lots of cheap items. I am looking for clothes that are comfortable but still smart, flattering, and suitable for spring and summer. Nothing too revealing, but I do not want to look frumpy either.

I absolutely hate shopping in stores and find online shopping overwhelming. I have been looking on Facebook and Instagram for outfit inspiration, but I cannot seem to find anything that feels realistic for a normal 37 year old mum.
Can anyone recommend good quality high street shops that offer stylish clothes that last? I would love suggestions for cruise outfits, flattering styles for a tummy area, and comfortable but stylish shoes.

I am also looking at the UGG GoldenGlow Sandals as they look lightweight, supportive and practical while still being stylish.

Any recommendations, favourite shops, or holiday staples you swear by would be hugely appreciated.

DP has an Apple watch and phone and has always done these even in our early dating days. We can be mid conversation and a notification will come on his phone or his watch and he’ll focus entirely on that and start reading it.

we were having a bit of a make or break conversation at dinner the other night and while I was talking he just picked up his phone and started reading a message.

I paused and waited for him to finish and he had a go at me as he can ‘concentrate on more than one thing at the same time’

I just find it so bad mannered but AIBU?

these are not urgent notifications by the way just like group chat nonsense or whatever

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5529520-do-people-in-the-uk-really-believe-these-canal-pusher-hoaxes-canals-in-the-uk-are-only-waist-deep?reply=152291489 deeply unpleasant OP. Hide til morning?

Long time reader, first time poster and nc as really don’t want to be identified by anyone I know in rl.
I'm early 50s, dh is a bit older.
struggling through menopause, but trying hard to stay well both physically and emotionally.
But I’m missing sex with my dh. His sex drive has gone, I still want it and I’m sad it feels like that part of our relationship is over.
We talk, he’s had all the health checks for us to know it’s nothing to worry about. Testosterone is still higher range so no help by having that prescribed. Tried the little pills which work a bit…but it’s just the desire to take them or do anything is not there. Says he enjoys it when we do. But I’m left wanting more. I swing between wanting it but being disappointed (ed cuts things short) and forcing myself to shut down and not think about it. Very occasionally when we have had sex over the last couple of years it’s been great but I’m left wanting it more the next day/week but then we don’t do anything. So I cut myself off, I surpress my desire so that I’m not disappointed but that makes me distant, sad, no intimacy at all leaves me feeling unwanted, unattractive. Just bloody miserable.
I can’t pressure him to want it more- that’s not fair on him, besides which- extra pressure equals even worse performance! He wants to make me happy but I want what we had and I’m never going to have that again, it’s like mourning.
I read the threads about mismatched libido searching for answers and never finding them.
I don’t want anyone else, just him. We love each other very much but I miss the connection and togetherness that being intimate brings. I’m struggling to find another way to feel that.
I can’t find that balance I need to be happy.
Am I alone? Do other people experience this? Do I just have to wait until my libido buggers off as well? Any wise words for me?

I’m MOB later in the year but my plan to lose weight/get in shape is clearly not going to work out in time and I haven’t a clue what to wear that will be appropriate and feel ‘right’. I’d like to be both elegant and comfortable but that seems like an impossible combination.

I’m 5’2, a 16-18 with big boobs. I hate my arms and don’t have good legs. I don’t mind my boobs but realise they shouldn’t be taking centre stage on my child’s big day 😳

I don’t really suit the usual MOB type outfits - I did get a jumpsuit but it shows too much arm and I’m worried about going to the loo! I’ve bought nude sandals and clutch that I really like and they should go with most things.

Can anyone suggest something that ticks these boxes:

• Covers arms to at least elbow but doesn’t look wintery
• Long enough to hide legs but not so long I fall over it
• Goes with my shoes and bag
• Wedding colour scheme is green so I need to either avoid or complement
• Budget up to £150ish

Thank you!

Just to update you all who were so lovely last night - I was even worse overnight so called 111, they said to wait to GP appt this morning.

At the appointment GP did my vitals, checked my ear (which is now fully closed shut) and advised me to go straight to A&E to get IV antibiotics.

Still waiting as need to be assessed by ENT but they are taking great care of me. Decent pain relief, have fed me and going very regular obs. They’ve also done swabs to see what infection we are dealing with.

People moan about the NHS but honestly, I cannot fault the treatment I’ve had, even if it is taking a bit longer to be properly admitted than I thought.

I’ve just started going to the gym regularly. It opens late and is next door to my workplace, I’d like to keep going.
The issue I have is that they have male cleaners coming into the women’s changing room.
It’s a busy gym, the changing room has 2 private cubicles, 2 toilets, 2 showers and an open benched space.
I approached a worker and explained, I’m not comfortable with it, I now feel like I definitely can’t use the open space or showers. He looked at me like I was insane and said the cleaner would have shouted out if he was okay to enter (A silly system because you might walk in and he’s already in there and I doubt anyone would hear from the shower area anyway) Plus just because one woman might be ok with it doesn’t mean we all will.
I have very deep seated reasons why I am so uncomfortable, I don’t feel like I should have to share them with random gym workers to be understood.
I’ve done cleaning jobs myself and they were always done before or after closing.
Is this a me problem, would it bother others reading?

I love my partner and they’re amazing in every single way except one thing.
except they sometimes drink and drive. Not so they’re blind drunk of course but sometimes 1 or 2 drinks more than they should or such a small amount that they may not be over the limit but verging on it and skating think.
I’ve told them categorically how this is wrong and the risks of this, car crash, hurting other people, losing their license etc etc.
my partner doesn’t have a drinking problem (alcoholic etc) but this really pisses me off.
I just don’t know what to do now and how to deal with this. I feel like I’m not being heard when I say I don’t like this and how serious it is.
I don’t want this relationship to end as it’s perfect in every other way but this has to stop. Please don’t ask me to “shop” them but I need some advise about how to get this through to them.

Need ideas for a birthday gift for 45 year old lovely Sister in law. She works super hard, but likes quick routines. Need a self care gift or something cool to wear. She likes dog walking and lives in a seaside town. She has a well paid job as a director of a company but buys pretty much everything second hand and all her money goes on kids and doing house renovation. She is very down to earth. Any ideas welcome!

Just that really. I am a Labour voter, and I know what Labour policies I support. I think I know what Conservative and Lib Dem policies their supporters like. I don't know about Reform.

Unless in extreme cases (ie SEN, extreme mental health or other complex needs) or parent is qualified teacher, I fundamentally disagree with home ed.

It's insular and doesn't prepare kids for the real world.

I've seen first hand some shocking examples that I can't go into for confidentiality reasons but common thread was parents arrogantly assumed they had same skills as teachers with masters degrees. Reality was kids were really behind, had no proper structure or routine.

It's worrying that so many people see home ed as a viable lifestyle choice. I know school system not perfect at all but isolating children at home or in small home ed group echo chambers isn't healthy.

My Man had this emotional web situation with this girl back a year ago. They ended up meeting once. He claims they never did anything. This was before I met him, by the way. I heard around that he would call her on blocked numbers every month since then.

I’ve found some texts in his phone which are questionable. About two months ago, they got back into contact. He was sending her messages telling her that she’s still in love with him, like a lot of teasing on his part. She texted him asking for advice regarding a man, and he went off. She’ll block him, then unblock him, and every time she does, he comes running to text her.

Him: “Don’t ever play on my phone like that.”

Him- don’t ever contact me about another man, so and so. He then blows her up like 5 times.

I confronted him about this. He said it was all jokes and how this is how they play. Yet from the texts, he came off very upset and bothered that she was dating other men.

Fast forward to now, I seen they got into an argument and he called her out of her name, vice versa. Then he calls her 5 times. Kept telling her that he knew she was going to unblock him. Then he sent her three voice memos telling her to admit that she misses him, and how he might miss her a little and care for her a little.

Then I seen that he called her at 3 a.m. She cussed him out and told him not to ever call her at that time.

He later on admitted that he only got love for her as a friend. Then I seen messages of him telling her he has feelings for a girl, that he’s pretty much in a relationship, and how his girl goes through his phone and is cool with it, which I’m not.

Him:
“We homies lol.”
“My girl not even tripping fr.”
“She be in my phone, she seen it all.”
“But you know I got love for you (her full name).”

Yet he just blew her phone up two days ago and called her at 3 a.m. last night.

It seems like she contacts him when she’s bored, and they get into these mini arguments, yet he blows her up and gets emotionally involved with it. I know it’s not good, yet I don’t want to end things over something that isn’t serious.

We've had a new mattress, so decided to clear everything off our ottoman. Our bed & Ottoman very rarely looks this tidy. Does this look dated?

Long story short we went to Disney couple of years ago - kids wanted to go back so will be going for two weeks in October half term.

Sister's kids are desperate to go, but as a family it's out of their budget. We have a great relationship with sister and BIL, but don't want to offend them (well him I know sister would be delighted)

How do we go about offering, I was thinking probably speak with her first?

I’ve had BIAB on for around a year now with mostly only infills. I removed them as I’m wanting to try another salon. When I first took them off they were long and looked ok but over the last week they have broken really low down to the point they’ve been bleeding and sore. Do you think I should give BIAB a rest for a good while now?
do you get your nails done or leave them?

Just as it says in the title really.
Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.
I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.
We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.
Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.
He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.
I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?
Thank you