Just watched an episode of this where he frequently handled raw beef & then went on to dip his fingers in bowls of salt, pepper, open cupboards, the fridge, without washing his hands. I think he used the same chopping board to cut the cooked steak that he’d previously flopped the uncooked meat around on. He just about made it in 20 minutes by shaving off some time by not washing his hands. I’m not particularly fastidious but seems a bit unsanitary.

Maybe it's a bit cliche but hey ho.

New job, met a bloke, fell in love.

We kissed on a works do (out of the blue really, we both just went for it) and since then we got closer, agreed we both enjoyed it, met up more often and got to know each other very intimately. This was about half a year after I got the job, so we weren't total strangers, just work acquaintances until the kiss.

He confided in some very dark events in his childhood which he has struggled with since, and is in therapy and medicated for. He knows I champion mental health and support him fully.

Started sending nudes to each other, then sleeping together. He'd pat my arse from time to time, we'd snuggle and kiss. We said we loved each other.

Then, the day before he goes on holiday for a week, he says he needs to take a step back and he doesn't see things working. I react as well as you'd imagine, then he's gone for a week. He comes back and says he regrets what he said and "part of him" wants to try again, but because of his past he doesn't want a proper relationship (yet). And the same day he came back and I was dreading what was going to happen, he showed me a pic of him in sexy wear on the phone. It sent a very confusing message.

Anyway three months later I sat him down and said "If it's a definite no, tell me right now" He hesitated and said it was not a definite no, and he "can't deny his feelings for me" but that his past trauma is blocking him from making a proper decision.

I am completely in love with him. To a hopeless degree. I would do anything for him. He seems oblivious to how much I feel for him. My heart flutters every time he enters the office in the morning. It hurts.

Am I being selfish?

I am one thousand percent certain there isn't another love interest behind the curtain.

I slept with a senior colleague and now I'm panicking that people might have noticed and that I've completely ruined my reputation. I was feeling fine until this evening when the worry set in after I told my sister and she more or less called me a slut (different words but message was clear). I've never done this before (nor had I planned for it!), but it just happened and I feel pretty emotional now.
It was at a work event and I didn't think that anyone had noticed us missing but 2 people made comments to me today which make me think that they might have been hinting, and I've been ruminating. I'm probably catastrophising but now unsure what will happen if someone noticed and reports this to HR? Can I get fired for this if we aren't in a line manager employee situation?
This is my first proper job with a career opportunity and now I'm freaing myself out maybe.

As of last year, I started working almost entirely from home, so I no longer need to dress smartly for the office. My casual trousers currently consist of jeans and… more jeans (both slim and baggy!). My old work trousers feel far too smart for the school run, a coffee or a day working from home.

I’m a pear shape, size 8–10 on top and 10–12 on the bottom, with chunkier thighs. I tend to wear slouchy, wide-knit jumpers (think Joseph/Jigsaw/COS/Émile Sézane style) in cream, oatmeal, pink, grey and green.
I’d love some suggestions for casual, comfy trousers that still look and feel lovely with this sort of knitwear. I worked in an office until last year and I think I’m struggling a bit to find my feet style-wise now I’m not dressing for work every day. Jeans have always been my default, but they used to be easier to rotate with office clothes!

I caught myself enviously eyeing up two mums at school pickup recently who’d clearly been in work and both looked lovely and perfectly autumnal. Nothing particularly dressy, just really nice outfits that looked effortless. It made me realise I’ve lost my way a little bit and would love to feel a bit more me again.

My actual life is very much school runs, dog walks, the odd coffee, working in my home office and occasional trips to the gym. I live rurally, so a swishy city look wouldn’t really work, and I don’t want to feel overdressed for my day-to-day life.

What trousers are you wearing that strike that happy medium between comfy and casual but still feeling a bit pulled together? Particularly interested in styles that work with chunky knitwear and a pear-shaped figure. Would love any brand or outfit suggestions! 😊 budget flexible (I rarely buy anything unless a moth eats it so happy to invest a bit)

I'm looking for a corduroy dress, probably button through, preferably elbow length sleeves, just above knee length. It needs to be a petite fit ideally- I'm 5ft 1 and size 16. I've tried a couple from Next - a green one from m&co- sleeves too tight and restrictive and a beautiful dark red one from love and roses - too a line for me. Any ideas anyone please? Any suggestions of an alternative would be welcome. Just needs to be warmish and suitable for a nice pub lunch. Can anyone help please?

Exactly that. Married 25 years. Had a huge arguement tonight as he moaned about lights being left on and it escalated. I said in anger that he can not expect a birthday celebration tomorrow. He said fine.
I’m now not sure what to do?

We've been together 15+ years, married with kids last 5, I thought we covered all the topics when it comes to values and principles - especially related to the way we raise our children but turns out he was full of it - to put it bluntly.
Essentially, with meeting new kids/parents through nursery/school - I now realise he is very much leaning toward being,well, racist 😔
You would think - how did I not notice this before....well the thing is he was always respectful to friends or colleagues regardless the ethnicity - but now when we discuss behaviour that our child picks up from the nursery from another child - he attributes/explains behaviours with 'well ofcourse this happened considering he is x'.
Then slowly such vocabulary moved into every day conversations about e.g. neighbours - he'd say derogatory things about particular nation based on behaviour of a single person that affects us.
I am just so blindsided and can't stop thinking about how this will shape our children.
How could I have been so blind...or could he had just pretended all this time, and why??
Or can people change their views about something so basic so dramatically?
Recently he started making mean comments about LGBTQ community too - I mean we have friends that he loves or I thought so...
I am also thinking his mum's recent visit may have encouraged him to speak up - clearly these are the values he was brought up with.
I am also ashamed... I am looking at my DS atm sleeping - he is such a warm friendly loving and a smart boy and he is being exposed to comments like this. He loves all his little friends. He was talking proudly about friends he'd like to invite to his bday and his grandma actually asked him what colour is a certain child...she also described a 4 yo girl in the playground as fat.
I am sorry if this is a jumble of topics here - a husband showing true colours years later, a toxic mil, a clash in values, challenge with co-parenting, protecting a child from instilling wrong values...
So is it that I was blind all this time (YANBU) and I just never got to know him - or people actually can just change their core values so drastically (YABU).

I honestly dont even know why I’m posting. I just feel like I cant do this anymore.

He’s 13, turned 13 three weeks ago. I know he’s a child and I know how bad this sounds but I hate him. I hate saying that about my own child but I am at the end of my tether and nobody seems to listen when I say how bad things have got.

His dad died when he was 7 and I’ve brought him up on my own since then. I know he’s had a lot to deal with but I cant keep excusing everything because of that. I dont know what else I’m supposed to do.

This morning school sent him home because he was sick. He’s been sick again since he’s been home but he went to sleep for a bit and seems fine now. He asked if he could go out tonight and I said no because he’s been ill and I dont want him going out and then being sick again somewhere. That was it. Apparently I’m picking on him because he’s been ill, I’m always ruining everything and I never let him do anything. He started shouting at me and calling me names. I said I wasnt arguing about it and he got even worse.

He’s shoved past me to get out of the room and shouted that he hopes I die. Just screamed it at me. I honestly dont even know what to say to that anymore. I told him to get away from me and he carried on shouting. Now he’s in his room and I’m downstairs trying to calm down and he’s probably forgotten all about it already.

This is what its like here all the time. I can ask him to do something completely normal and it turns into a massive argument. He calls me a stupid bitch, pathetic, thick, says nobody respects me and that I’m a shit mum. If I get upset he says I’m being dramatic. If I shout back then apparently I’m the one with the problem. He knows exactly what to say to hurt me and sometimes I honestly think he does it on purpose.

I know I let him get away with things. I tell him the xbox is going off and he argues for ages, swearing and following me around the house, and sometimes I just give up and let him carry on because I havent got the energy for another row. Same with his phone. I’ve taken it off him because of things I’ve found on there and then ended up giving it back because I just cant cope with hours of shouting. I know people will say I’m making a rod for my own back and maybe I am but I’m so tired. I cant spend every evening fighting with a 13 year old.

The stuff he says online worries me as well. I’ve seen messages where he’s making really nasty comments about girls at school, mocking their looks and saying things about women being good for one thing. He’s watching these men online who talk about women like they’re worthless and repeating what they say. When I challenge him he tells me I know nothing and girls are just as bad. He doesnt seem to see anything wrong with it. I’ve tried putting restrictions on his phone but he gets round them and then I’m back to another argument.

I have tried asking for help and I honestly feel like I’m talking to a brick wall. He seems to have no limit to how nasty he can be when he’s angry. He’ll say the most horrible thing imaginable and then carry on as if nothing happened. I dont know how I’m supposed to keep dealing with this on my own.

I’ve even thought about ringing social services and saying I dont want him anymore. I havent done it but the thought has crossed my mind more than once. Just saying I cant have him here, I cant do this anymore, someone else needs to take over because I’m done. Then I feel disgusting for even thinking it because he’s my child and he’s only 13. But I genuinely dont know how much longer I can keep living like this. I dont want to abandon him but I also dont know how to help him when nobody seems willing to help us.

I hate what our relationship has become. I dread him coming home sometimes. When he’s out I feel relieved and then feel guilty for feeling relieved. I dont even want to speak to him after what he’s just said to me. I know people will say I’m the adult and I shouldnt feel like this but I’m a person as well and I can only take so much.

I know I’m not perfect and I shout and lose my temper. Sometimes I give in because I just want peace. I’m not proud of it. I just feel like I’ve reached the point where I dont know what to do next.

Someone mentioned to me that DC shouldn’t put courses they are at risk of not getting an offer for. Their reasoning is that if DC is rejected at this stage, they will have a black mark from that particular uni department on their UCAS file, and will have problems getting through clearing there. Their advice is that if DC is under the required grades, they shouldn’t put the course on their application, because if the course goes into clearing with lower grades (which it historically does), they’ll be able to get in through clearing on results day if they don’t have this black mark on their record. That if they were initially rejected, the uni will say no at the clearing stage.

Is there any truth to this?

OK, I'm very prepared for people to tell me I'm being weird or to not to do this, but would it be very strange to knock on a potential new neighbour's door before buying a house?

We have moved from London to a nearby market town where everyone so far has been very friendly. We have found a house which is ideal - it is a 1930s semi, and earlier this week, our offer for it was accepted!

Now, our old London neighbours were horrible. They played loud music and had parties almost every weekend in their garden; they also did some structural work in their house without a party wall agreement. They were bullies who complained about everything - and I really mean everything - our tree dropping a few leaves on their side, the fact that we left the house too early (at 8am to go to work) but then let their dogs bark in the garden from 6pm. So, understandibly, I am very cautious about having nightmare neighbours again. And with a semi, you share a wall and see into each other's gardens etc. even though the area otherwise is very quiet.

So I thought, would it be very strange to knock on the neighbours door to say hello and introduce ourselves before the contracts are exchanged? Just to suss them out (and they might be curious about us too!)

Edit to say - if you lived in a semi where the other side was on market, how would you feel about this?

I recently started a new job after leaving a role I’d been in for nearly two years. I was genuinely excited about the opportunity, but it’s been a really difficult experience.

I was promised six weeks of handover and training, but the person I was replacing left after just seven working days. I’ve been left managing a significant workload while still trying to learn the systems and processes.

My immediate team have been lovely, but support from other departments has been lacking, and some interactions have felt quite unkind.

For context, I suffer with anxiety, so my working environment and the support around me make a huge difference to how I thrive. I’ve worked in demanding roles before and I’m more than capable of handling a busy workload, but I need to feel comfortable asking questions, particularly when I’m new.

The situation has completely knocked my confidence. I’ve been working late, constantly worrying and feeling physically sick at the thought of going into the office. It’s also affecting my home life.
I’ve raised my concerns with my manager, but my anxiety has reached the point where I’ve had to take time off.

I’m now considering resigning, but I have a young child, financial commitments and no other job secured. I’m actively applying and speaking with recruiters, but nothing is guaranteed.
I feel like a failure for wanting to leave so soon, but equally I can’t imagine continuing to feel this way.

AIBU to resign without another job lined up, or would you try to stick it out?

Hi, I’m wondering if people can give their perspectives on this relationship and whether I’m fighting a losing battle.

I’ve been with my partner 5 years. He has DD10 and DS11. They are with us every weekend and on Wednesday evenings.

Currently my partner is running a tennis club on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. These classes are 6pm until 10pm (travel inclusive).

This leaves us with Wednesday as “our time”. I’ve expressed in the past that this doesn’t feel enough for me. But he’s told me that he’s unable to drop the commitment at the tennis club.

At the weekends, his Dds are here. DD10 has SEN and acts younger than her age. I love them both every much, I’ve been in their lives for 4 years. But weekends are full on - either driving to clubs, family days out. They go to bed around 10 meaning we don’t have evenings together either. I accepted this and fully embrace them being here. It does feel nice to feel like part of their family and I can’t fault them, they’re lovely kids.

My issue is that I feel like me and my partner are passing ships.

He’s just told me he intends to join the reserve army? He said training will take place Tuesdays 6:30-9:30.

I’m very hurt. It’s the one day a week I feel we have time to be a couple. I think we’ve lost sight of this and function more as a family unit. I know parents do not have time “off” parenting, but I am a parent’s partner. I did chose to date a man with children and I would never begrudge them being here. They’re only here 3 days a week. But every time they’re not here, DP is out doing his tennis, and now, the reserves. If he joins, it will also mean a weekend away from DDs. He’s said that they’re still welcome to come over, and of course they are, but where’s the consideration for what I want?

I’ve told him I think it will negatively affect our relationship if he maintains his tennis club and army training.. he says I’m controlling. Do you think I am controlling?

Hi guys, took these yesterday and today, are better to the naked eye and don’t need to squint however just not sure, thank you so much

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations 😊 .

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I haven’t spoken to anyone IRL about this as I feel so stupid.

I am nearly 50 and have been single for a few years bar a couple of short lived relationships.

A couple of years ago I became friendly with a man at work - we are in separate departments (huge company) but the hot desking arrangements meant we sat by each other a couple of days a week and got along well and bonded over mutual hobbies.

I knew he had a young child and a partner; over time he started to bemoan some stuff about his relationship and he also listened to me complaining about dates etc.

In the summer, he told me he had separated from his partner but they remained living together. We met at a hotel and slept together. This has happened a few more times; he told me he didn’t care about the age gap and that once he’d sorted a new place to live he could see himself pursuing a relationship with me.

Earlier this week, he told me he’d decided to get back with his partner and he couldn’t see me any more. I told him he’d strung me along and that I felt really hurt. He turned nasty on messages and has blocked me now. He said things about it working for both of us and that I got to sleep with someone much younger who I’d never be with in ‘normal circumstances’ and that he had ‘fun with someone experienced’ so it was just a ‘summer fling’.

He is sitting elsewhere in the office now so I don’t have to see him, but I am stuck between feeling humiliated and that I have been so stupid to ever get involved with him. I also feel very sorry for his partner who is unaware.

I am not sure what I’m looking for by posting this, maybe some tough love. I know I’ve been an idiot.

IToday i’ve realised how much my ds actually posts on social media. I knew he had TikTok and Instagram but not to this extent. I thought he mostly watched videos and followed bands etc but he’s got about 1.5k followers on TikTok and 53k likes altogether. He’s mostly showing his outfits, lip syncing to music and talking about bands he likes. Some of them are quite niche and he gets really into them. There’s pictures of himself too and the odd video talking about how he’s feeling. I just didn’t realise how much he was putting out there.

He’s 14, autistic and has quite significant mental health issues. He’s had a difficult couple of years and barely goes to school now. Last year they were fairly lax about his dyed hair and piercings because he was in the hub for most of the day anyway, it’s a room for the autistic children away from the other pupils. He’s got quite a few piercings already and is constantly begging me for more. The school have now changed their stance and said if they allow it for him they’d have to allow it for everyone, so he’s stopped attending altogether. It’s all got very difficult tbh.

He dresses emo/scene and it’s very much his thing. I’m not against how he looks and he’s openly bisexual on TikTok which isn’t an issue in our house. He doesn’t really have any friends in real life which I do worry about, although he’d probably tell you he doesn’t need any. Social media seems to be where he gets most of his interaction with people.

Some of the comments are a bit concerning. Some people take the piss out of him or call him weird and he’ll argue back for ages instead of just ignoring them. Then there are accounts that look like teenage girls flirting with him, calling him cute and tagging their friends under his pictures. One seems to comment on quite a lot of his stuff. I don’t know these girls or whether they’re actually who they say they are.

He does have an online friend who’s a girl and she’s 16. I’ve actually met her as they went to a small gig together and she seemed perfectly nice, also very scene and they have similar music tastes. So I know not every online friendship is dodgy and I’m not against him having friends online. They get on well and she seems to understand him. It’s the other accounts I don’t know what to make of.

I don’t want to ban everything just because I’m worried, as social media is one of the few places he seems confident and he does get a lot out of the music side of it. With him not really going to school or having friends outside the internet I worry taking it away would leave him even more isolated. But equally he’s not great at judging people’s intentions sometimes and can be very trusting if someone seems to like him. He gets defensive if I question anything and says I’m treating him like a little kid.

I just don’t know if I’m being too relaxed about the attention he’s getting, especially with his mental health being how it is. I knew he had social media, I just didn’t realise how public it all was or how many people were interacting with him.

I’m only half joking. But I’m so tense at the moment and headed for a spontaneous massage tonight and I feel like it could actually be beneficial to add it into my routine 🤣

I'd like to get rid of our bath and install a shower cubicle which would free up some much needed storage space in our small family bathroom.

No one in our household has had a bath in years and I feel a shower cubicle would work better for us (me and two adult DC).

The master bedroom already has a small en-suite shower room which DH uses.

But I'm concerned no bath could put people off buying when we sell up in a few years time (5+ years).

Would you be happy buying a house with no bath?

I’ve finally accepted that high street bras are never going to work for me. I’m 34G/GG and have had a horrible summer of itchy, sweaty boobs squished together, skin tags, irritated moles and general grumpiness!

I’m going to bite the bullet and order from the site but I can’t find my tape measure 😁. If you’ve bought from them, do you find the sizing consistent with other brands?

Hi all. We are viewing a house this weekend that, if all looks good, we will most likely make an offer on. It's perfect for us.

However I've just done a quick search on Zoopla and the house last sold in December 2025. This has rang alarm bells for me, as the current owners have lived there less than a year before selling again. It was put on the market end of August so actually 8 months after they bought it.

Would this make you nervous? I will be asking the EA why this is the case, but wanted your opinions on whether I should proceed with caution? Thanks!

I’m just having a little rant. I hate my neighbours so much. They live as though they are in a detached house rather than a flat in a densely packed building. They ripped out the carpets and put wooden floors in without any consideration for noise. They stomp around with shoes indoors on said wooden floors. They get aggressive if anyone dares to complain and smoke cannabis which makes the building stink.

The building mangers are useless. They don’t do anything other than issue notices to all of the flats about antisocial behaviour but then do nothing about it.

Fortunately I am moving very soon. But I feel sorry for the next tenants. I was always puzzled when I first moved into this flat as to why the previous tenants had moved after only a few months. Now I know why.

WIBU to leave a parting note to the neighbours telling them how awful they are?

My son lives a long way away and I can only visit 3/4 times a year. He comes back occasionally (more limited by AL allowance) and we talk on the phone once in a while. That's all fine. I'm going for a few days this week.

There's another thread here making me wonder if my thoughts regarding the visit are OK.

He lives with DW in a very small flat, so DP (not his dad) and I have rented a flat nearby.

They live in a very nice area and he'll be working, with a couple of his usual days off, no extra leave. He works shift, so will be free with mornings or evenings. So, (or me and DP) usually entertain myself while he's working and see him when he's free. We'll go for a walk and have breakfast or dinner together.

Usually there's an opportunity to have time alone with him because his wife will be working. I like his wife a lot and we'll have a nice time altogether, but it's nice to have him to myself a bit too. I also think it's probably good for her to have a break from me?

DP has said say the word and he'll take himself off so I can have breakfast alone with DS, but the last thing I want is to offend his DW by inviting him to breakfast and not including her. In her shoes I'd probably be glad of the peace in a multiday trip, but as a MIL, on MN at least, it seems hard to get things right.

So how do I say I'd like an hour or two alone with him without it becoming a big issue? Or is that an unreasonable expectation now he's married?

My partner’s 15-year-old daughter moved in with us during the week after spending around two years out of mainstream education while living with her mum.
She now attends school locally and lives with us Monday to Friday, returning to her mum at weekends and during school holidays. We also have a young child together.

Recently, a dental appointment revealed longstanding issues with her teeth that hadn’t been addressed, which has raised concerns about the care she’d previously received.

We’ve now been told her mum is moving from a two-bedroom house into a more expensive one-bedroom apartment, despite having a teenage daughter who still stays with her. To add to this, her mum now wants her to spend even more time with us.

We’re already providing the majority of her day-to-day care, schooling, meals and general support. Her mum still receives child benefit, and maintenance payments haven’t always been consistent.
I completely understand that circumstances change, but I can’t help feeling that her mum is gradually stepping back from her parental responsibilities while we’re expected to pick up more and more.
This isn’t about not wanting my stepdaughter here. It’s about questioning whether it’s reasonable for one parent to keep reducing their involvement.

As a mother I cannot fathom not doing anything and everything I possibly can for my child. I would go through fire and back if it meant supporting and protecting them.

Conversation about drunk shopping and I mentioned that I once ordered racing sprouts and a sudoku rubiks cube just before Xmas about 18 years ago!

DD is adamant that no one does stuff like that. I need you to help me prove her wrong!

Currently full of some kind of cold/flu/covid virus. When I can taste, favourite poorly food = cream of tomato soup with bread & loads of butter to dip, or toast/crumpets with butter & marmite. Jelly babies or soft fruit jellies and orange Lucozade for sugar.

How about you?