Need fashion advice... why is clothes shopping SO hard???

[FussInBoots]

Help! 37 year old mum of 3 looking for cruise fashion advice.Does anyone want to take on a fashion case??
We have a cruise coming up and I have realised that most of my wardrobe is leggings, jeans and clothes that are more practical than stylish.

I am a size 12 to 14 with a bit of a mum tum and a medium bust that is not quite where it used to be! I want to buy just a few nice pieces rather than lots of cheap items. I am looking for clothes that are comfortable but still smart, flattering, and suitable for spring and summer. Nothing too revealing, but I do not want to look frumpy either.

I absolutely hate shopping in stores and find online shopping overwhelming. I have been looking on Facebook and Instagram for outfit inspiration, but I cannot seem to find anything that feels realistic for a normal 37 year old mum.
Can anyone recommend good quality high street shops that offer stylish clothes that last? I would love suggestions for cruise outfits, flattering styles for a tummy area, and comfortable but stylish shoes.

I am also looking at the UGG GoldenGlow Sandals as they look lightweight, supportive and practical while still being stylish.

Any recommendations, favourite shops, or holiday staples you swear by would be hugely appreciated.

Gosh, I wouldn't describe those sandals as stylish

No clothes at all will go with those sandals,@FussInBoots - so I wouldn’t start there.

Can you say what you mean by ‘realistic’? Do you mean in terms of price, or freedom of movement, or laundry or … ? Are your children toddlers or teens? And are they going on the cruise?

If you are starting pretty much from scratch, you could do worse than to buy a collection of clothes that go together from somewhere like Boden. I’d say, two pairs of summer trousers, two pairs of shorts, a skirt, two maxi dresses, a shorter dress, a lightweight jumper or two, three t shirts, a blouse, a sweatshirt and a jacket, plus a bikini or bathing suit. Then sandals, trainers and flats. At least if you get it from one place and in one go, you’ll know things go together. And flattering mum tums without looking either frumpy or too trendy is their bread and butter. Think of a three colour palette and stick it (navy, cream, pink for example.) That should see you through easily.

Doesn’t have to be Boden, I’m sure M and S or Fat Face would do the trick, but Boden is a bit more designed without being outrageously expensive.

You’re finding it overwhelming because you don’t know what your style is so when you look in shops you’re considering boho / feminine / minimalist and all the rest in together. You need some kind of road map so you’re not just copying random outfits. And it’s all separate from your age etc.

I don’t think it’s at all necessary to have claimed a single, definitive style. Clothes from different ‘genres’ can very easily go together - that’s part of what ‘style’ is. We’re allowed to put a flouncy skirt with a leather jacket and trainers. Or a chic black dress with big furry boots. Not having chosen one look to the exclusion of all others shouldn’t mean the OP struggles to buy suitable clothes for her life.

I think the budget really matters here, sorry. Do you have a rough feel for what you’d pay say for a shirt or a pair of trousers?

Of course we can and that friction that unexpectedness is part of your style. Allison Bornstein on social media / online has lots of advice about finding your style using a 3 word method. There’s a bit of a process to go through first if looking at your wardrobe and your “ go to’s”. Once you have a sense of your direction it’s easier to filter your options and hone in on the stuff that makes you feel like yourself. Otherwise you’re going to be wading through frou frou dresses, oversized jeans, print and strict minimalism as people project their style on you !!

It compeltely depends on your style, OP. I'd go for Staples like linen trousers and palazzo trousers (or whatever style suit you) that can be mixed and matched with a variety of tops, like vest tops, camis and shirts, shorts that can be dressed up or down - there are loads in Zara and H&M (don't underestimate the power of a belt to dress them up). Fisherman sandals are everywhere this year and go with almost everything, a dress or two.

Find a brand/shop you like and search their stuff on Vinted.

Also, you can dress however you like on a cruise! They have one or two "evening dress" dinners, but otherwise people wear jeans and t-shirts in the day, and maybe slightly smarter at night.

As you don’t want very cheap, throwaway stuff, and naturally want to combine practicality with style and ease of use (ie things that all go together), I’d suggest you could probably buy everything you need for the summer from:

https://aligne.co/collections/shop-all

Hello op. When you say “cruise wear” do you mean for the sightseeing / days on the ship or do you mean evening wear?

Sorry you’ve had more questions than answers so far!

Crikey those sandals look like the kind of thing seen on people who have had bunion surgery or something and simply have to wear footwear in order to leave the house 🥴

You have said you wear leggings a lot so how about starting with some trousers, straight leg unless you want to try something a bit more exciting. Some plain T-shirts, with a nice weight to them (next are good for basics like this) in whatever colours you like.
When I hear cruise I think sequins but I’m not a sequin glitz kind of person, I’m also aware that I’ve never been on a cruise and I might be far off the mark! my mum went on a cruise recently and said there were a couple of nights for dressing up (optional), if you’re going to that see if you can find a midi dress - you’ll be well covered if you don’t want to feel too exposed.
Vinted might be a good place to start but I find it helps to know what you’re looking for. So id type in midi dress and a brand of clothing you might normally buy to see what’s available. Vinted is great but I do think you need to be quite specific with your search criteria to get the best from it.

The sudoku packing method, and it's the easiest way to build outfits that actually make sense when you travel. You're working with 9 pieces, 3 tops, 3 bottoms, 3 layers, from the same colour palate, including white. All intentionally chosen to work together. From those clothes you can make 27 different outfits.

Tops - think linen or cotton shirts, tee shirts,
Bottoms - capri pants, shorts, skirt
Layers - light jacket, cardigan, jumper

Add in a dress or two that can be dressed up with heels or down with trainers, sandals, some accessories, a wrap, statement jewellery, day bag and evening bag. Swimwear, kaftan, gym kit, nightwear, underwear.

If you need advice then book a personal shopping session in somewhere like John Lewis. They know all the stock, will know what suits you and will listen to your likes and concerns. They’ll save you a lot of money by avoiding mistake-buys out of panic.
As got your bust, a good bra will fix that and make all the clothes look 100% better.

Excellent advice.

Sorry, more questions - are the Ugg sandals your kind of thing - ie do you wear things like DMs in the winter? If so, you're unlikely to feel comfortable in floaty boho type dainty flowery clothes. Can you do a search for them on insta to see how people wear them, and whether you like those looks.

Yeah, maybe a strong word for them... but they were unbelievably comfy!

This is why I just struggle, because I would rather comfort over style.... but I also want to look nice, put together... like I actually made an effort 😕

I don't mind paying a decent price for something that will last, and I also have purchased items from a very well known overseas manufacturer ( Shein - a lot of the items have been okay... but there's not intentional thought behind the pieces)

Aww, I do like the shoes as they're so comfy, when I tried them on, they were like walking on clouds and my feet felt supported.

I just feel hopeless!! They should teach fashion in school!! 😅

Sorry, missed the 2nd part.
Yes, 2 x DS will be on the cruise with me and hubs.

That sounds simple when you put it like that... but I've seen me add an absolute bundle of clothes to my basket and then lost the will.
Does anyone do online shopper sessions for people like me?

Love this...
I love the idea of mixing a bit of this, and a bit of that....
But I just don't have the vision to put things together
When I have endless choices at our finger tips, I become paralysed by the choices

My budget, I would be happy paying around £30 - £40 for a shirt
£20-£25 for tshirt
£40 for jeans
£30 for skirt
£15-£50 for dresses... higher for occasion dresses.
£20-£100 for different types of shoes

One of the most painful things for me is to think of what to wear.... 2nd to that is what to cook for dinner 🫠

I've just given her a follow - thank you. Will try and do some research

Honestly go to M&S and try on two pairs of floaty trousers, a pool dress, a maxi dress and a few vest tops.

Whats the best style of fisherman's sandals that would be lightweight and supportive (I have a history of sciatica so conscious of my footwear needing to be supportive and lightweight)

I genuinely don't know my style...
I'm a millennial - I 'tried' to wear an old comfy paid of black skinny jeans the other day... my 15 year shamed me into not wearing them.... those jeans have now been donated. Sums up my clothing situation atm

I've tried vinted... I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I can't find anything I like (which isn't surprising given that I also can't find anything I look for their official websites)