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Please help me with this complicated childcare conundrum? Please, please! <begging tone>

179 replies

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 22:44

Oh god, it's long and complicated but please, read on and tell me what to do. Background: I have been looking for work for 7months. I need a job. I've just got a job, hurrah! Reasonably well paid, but it's a contract 3.5 hours drive from where I live with my 2 children (7.5yo ds and 20mos dd) and dp. Ds is ex dh's. We are still good friends and I love and get on with his mum, ex MIL (keeping up here?), who lives in London. Ex MIL is 1 hr drive away from my new contract and has offered to put me up AND look after my children! So my options for childcare are:

Ex MIL, who I love and who loves both my children, even though one of them is no blood relation to her. She has offered to look after dd (20mos) AND ds (7.5yo) AND put me up for not much money. Ds would be there to settle dd in and I would be there at the end of every day. So 3/4 of my family, i.e. ds, dd, I, will be together next week and the next few weeks over the summer holidays. Dp will stay in Bristol BUT will be able to do unlimited overtime and earn quite a bit more money (not as much as me, ha!, but still useful).

OR we find a nursery for dd now, if there is a place, in Bristol, where we live. But suddenly I disappear and am not around during the week AND she's in a strange place, i.e new nursery, plus her brother, ds, will be in London with me and will suddenly disappear from her life it will seem to her. But dp, her father, would drop and collect her and put her to bed every night in her own home.

Oh goodness, what would you do? Our options seem to be splittng our family up (i.e. dp lives alone until the end of the summer hols, the rest of us live in London) and keeping 3 of us together until the new term when dd will have to go into a nursery (yet to be found) and ds will go to after school club. Once my contract ends it might be extended or I will be at home again. Any advice welcome. TIA.

I can't not take the job, we need the money but any other thoughts or advice welcome. TIA.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:45

And hey, I walk out, I lose £ a day, so what? They are paying 90% of contract. Thanks, I'm really grateful for being able to talk it through here. We drank Champagne but cried into it when I got the offer iykwim!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:47

Ha ha cd, not pm, well, sort of but v specific, tedious. It's further than London, 3.5 hours drive frm Bristol. I drove 7 hours on Mon (3.5 each way) for a 2 hours interview!

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:48

FURTHER than LONDON???

OMG where could it be?

Can you not stay with your lovely sis?

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:50

Ok, I'll tell you, actually, no, guess. I left int and drove for an hour down identical looking boulevards only to end up where I started. Where was I?

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:50

Milton Keynes?

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:50

I could stay with sis. But would be scared we'd fall out too (as sisters do)

OP posts:
soapbox · 26/07/2005 23:50

Milton Keynes

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:50

YES!

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:51

(not that I have been there)

soapbox · 26/07/2005 23:51

CD - you baet me to it!

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:51

Warnt 'ard wassit?

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:51

wow amazing!

Oh god you will surely be suicidal within 10 mins

Enid · 26/07/2005 23:51

as sisters do

its as MILs and DILs do in my book

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:51

Boulevards ffs.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:52

get a job in london at least you could train it hme a couple of night a week

CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:52

they are really called boulevards

OMG

Enid · 26/07/2005 23:52

yy London

suerly more money and easier journey

CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:53

I could rent you a small room for a modest fee

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:53

I'm looking cd, I'm looking. My dad once said 'Milton Keynes is like The Moon' never knew what he meant til now

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:53

What did he mean?

A long way away and boring as shite once you get there maybe?

CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:54

you want pm job?

I can get you one I bet we are crying out

suzywong · 26/07/2005 23:54

haven't read all this but DON"T stay with sis. IME. You will fall out (I did with mine and had to leave the country an week early)

CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:54

have you any software exp?

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:54

They really are called Boulevards. And they're in a grid and numbered adn all look the effing same. I was pissed off to be in the same place an hour later I can tell you

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:55

Her sis is lovely (based on 15 mins mind)

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