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Please help me with this complicated childcare conundrum? Please, please! <begging tone>

179 replies

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 22:44

Oh god, it's long and complicated but please, read on and tell me what to do. Background: I have been looking for work for 7months. I need a job. I've just got a job, hurrah! Reasonably well paid, but it's a contract 3.5 hours drive from where I live with my 2 children (7.5yo ds and 20mos dd) and dp. Ds is ex dh's. We are still good friends and I love and get on with his mum, ex MIL (keeping up here?), who lives in London. Ex MIL is 1 hr drive away from my new contract and has offered to put me up AND look after my children! So my options for childcare are:

Ex MIL, who I love and who loves both my children, even though one of them is no blood relation to her. She has offered to look after dd (20mos) AND ds (7.5yo) AND put me up for not much money. Ds would be there to settle dd in and I would be there at the end of every day. So 3/4 of my family, i.e. ds, dd, I, will be together next week and the next few weeks over the summer holidays. Dp will stay in Bristol BUT will be able to do unlimited overtime and earn quite a bit more money (not as much as me, ha!, but still useful).

OR we find a nursery for dd now, if there is a place, in Bristol, where we live. But suddenly I disappear and am not around during the week AND she's in a strange place, i.e new nursery, plus her brother, ds, will be in London with me and will suddenly disappear from her life it will seem to her. But dp, her father, would drop and collect her and put her to bed every night in her own home.

Oh goodness, what would you do? Our options seem to be splittng our family up (i.e. dp lives alone until the end of the summer hols, the rest of us live in London) and keeping 3 of us together until the new term when dd will have to go into a nursery (yet to be found) and ds will go to after school club. Once my contract ends it might be extended or I will be at home again. Any advice welcome. TIA.

I can't not take the job, we need the money but any other thoughts or advice welcome. TIA.

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 26/07/2005 23:55

lol at suicide inducing properties of Milton Keynes, cd. Is it really that bad? I've never had the pleasure...

When are you arriving, www?

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:55

Cd, I would email you my cv but I'm afraid you'd larf...

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Enid · 26/07/2005 23:56

milton keynes lol

I drove through once it was mind bending

CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:56

Well no nor have I (oh tell a lie I saw David Bowie there in about 1981 but was so off my head I didn't notice much LOL)

I am ASSUMING

CountessDracula · 26/07/2005 23:56

bollox I would

goONgoONgoON

Enid · 26/07/2005 23:57

right www

I am on hols tomorrwo for a good two weeks (about 17 days) so I hope you get it all sorted.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx E

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:57

It is partic depressing, MK, I feel I might be relieved to be commuting back to ex mil.. Scums, I start on Monday,

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ScummyMummy · 26/07/2005 23:59

Wow! What time will you be back from Milton Keynes of an evening you reckon?

WideWebWitch · 26/07/2005 23:59

You drive through and through and around and around, it all looks the SAME. Bill Bryson said it did, I should have known. No wonder I got lost. An hour later to be in the same place though just as I thought I was escaping, I was peed off.

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CountessDracula · 27/07/2005 00:00

so let me get this right

You are going to a job in a shitehole to stay with your EX mil miles away even from there as she lives in london and be parted from your family

go on the game would be pref

WideWebWitch · 27/07/2005 00:00

Hmm, 7pm in NW London Scums... er, you offering me a drink? I could be in Cental London for 8, MIL has the kids, ha ha ha.

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WideWebWitch · 27/07/2005 00:02

CSD, good as I am, I don't think I'd get as much on the game

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soapbox · 27/07/2005 00:02

I used to have a client there and spent many weeks circumnavigating the place

The good news is that you do soon get used to it, the numbers eventually mean something!

But it is a bit souless.

You could always get some skiing practice in at the snowdome!!

WideWebWitch · 27/07/2005 00:02

hhmmmmmm.........

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CountessDracula · 27/07/2005 00:03

you are missing out on some fun

ScummyMummy · 27/07/2005 00:03

Well, yes, a drink will clearly be in order after your ordeal of a day!

WideWebWitch · 27/07/2005 00:03

Oh so H8 means something then soapbox? Blimey, will have to get an A to Z I think!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 27/07/2005 00:05

Oh god, thanks for that cd, how could I have missed that?! ha ha!

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 27/07/2005 00:05

Acutually the snowdome sounds quite tempting

soapbox · 27/07/2005 00:07

Yep - they run H 1-whatever on a grid
Then they run perpendicular L1 to something. I think it is L.

So most places are denoted by teh intersection of L and H.

But the roundabouts!!!! I'm sure I wore out a set of tyres every time I did an audit there

CountessDracula · 27/07/2005 00:08

god how depressing to have street alphanumerics not names

CountessDracula · 27/07/2005 00:08

DON'T DO IT WWW

WideWebWitch · 27/07/2005 00:11

Right, well I have to go to bed because my cherubs will get me up at 6.30am. Oh what a shame if I go on my own to a b and b where they can't hey? Thank you, all these opinions were v useful.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 27/07/2005 00:12

www anytime you want a night away from MIL but don't want to flog home just give me a call...

Berries · 27/07/2005 00:14

Bit late to this - but I think it's always easier to get a job when you've already got one. Take this oppotunity to sort out finances & look for something else part way through the contract. Accept that you'll all hate it (except kids who will probably be ok) but it IS short term and could sort out a lot of problems financially, meaning you will have more options in the New Year.