indirect discrimination against working mother

[SamSam786R]

Dear all,i am concerned that my employers are pushing me out of the business as working there has become impossible. as primary childcare provider for my children i require a certain amount of flexibility to work. the job i do is comms and can be done remotely. despite this i will go into the office three days a week. however, HR have told me that i must do certain days where childcare is impossible and so i am scrambling each week to find someone to watch my kids after school. they have said that this poilcy applies to all employees and NO exceptions can be made. my manager has told me that a job like mine is not suitable for working mothers and HR have stated that if i can not work around my children i need to go part time. in tandem i have now been put on an informal pip for a spelling error. since then, every mistake is emailed to me and my manager will message me on teams with all capital letters asking why i made these mistakes and that i can no longer make any mistakes at work. obviously, this along with the lack of flexibility or understanding has put me under immense stress - just today i cried in the toilet for one hour and had a minor panic attack. it might seem like a small thing, but these small aggressive remarks and confrontational emails have taken a huge toll on me. futhermore, my childless colleagues have been given leeway for working hours and days due to relocations. on top of that my HR person has stated that i am not attending the office for my full hours despite him coming in after me and leaving before every week. i am also one of the few people who come into an office regularly. they have also said i have baby brain on many occasions and compared me to my male colleagues. sorry for making this so long and rambly, there are so many other things that they have said and done to me, im so tired and would LOVE to resign but i need to pay my bills and the job market is awful right now. advice on: a: how to survive and b: how to escalate this with employment tribunal. thank you

they sound horrible and id be quietly looking for another job

BUT i wouldnt want to be letting them away with it either - the way they communicate over teams in capital letters is so unprofessional - they need to do the process correctly if it's a disciplinary. They clearly don't know what they are doing!

Did they really say you had baby brain? I'd be absolutley livid - this is definitley discrimination to a woman - they would never say this to a dad!

Saying your job is not suitable for mothers is also discrimination - wtf

Put in a flexible working request - they need to give reasons as to why not and you can appeal the decision!

Call pregnant then screwed and ACAS

So it’s documented that you take your lunch to pick up your kids 3 days a week, WFH with the kids in the house from (say) 3.30-5pm and make up hours after this in the evening if required?

I fear you may be trying to clear smoke with a tennis racket by trying to explain that to her🙄

She clearly has little insight into the law, much less employment law.

they have also said i have baby brain on many occasions and compared me to my male colleagues
OMG, that would have me FUMING! 😡😁
They shouldn't be comparing you to anyone, and especially not bringing up your having kids as part of negative behaviour towards you!
For that alone YANBU, along with everything else it sounds like a toxic place to work.
Not sure what it is you do for a living (don't need to say on here, too identifying etc) but I can kind of see their point on spelling/grammar but there's a bigger picture here. It definitely sounds like discrimination, especially if others are able to be more flexible which it sounds like it from your posts.

Although “being a working mum” is not a protected characteristic, sex is. A refusal to accommodate childcare needs can indirectly discriminate against women because of the childcare disparity. But it depends on the circumstances. Have you asked for flexible working? The employer must then reply with their rationale and give valid business reasons if refusing.

You being on PIP review suggests there may also be health or disability‑related factors. If you have a condition that meets the Equality Act definition of disability (other than baby brain - which if they said, I would take issue with), the employer has a duty to make reasonable adjustments. That is a separate legal protection and can strengthen your position.

I would try that and reassess the situation once you have their answer on flexible working. I would also speak to your union if you are a member?

The consideration I perceive, if my understanding is right, is that :

The employer has changed the required office days for everyone. Sadly because women are usually the main child carers, this disadvantages more women than men. This is legally recognised. You previously had childcare arranged; the change has disrupted that, and you are now struggling.

So really you need to look at the employers justification for this as that could be the deciding factor. Even if there is a disadvantage, the employer can still win the case if they show the your employers rules are

• Necessary for business needs
• Proportionate
• No less discriminatory alternative exists

In some cases, employers have successfully justified fixed working patterns; in others, they have not.

So yes, I think my you have three options:

1. suck it up
2. Find another job
3. consider the following:

Submit a formal flexible working request (if you hasn’t already).
Ask the employer to explain their justification for the new office‑day requirement.
Raise a grievance if you believe the decision is discriminatory - but speak to your Union or Employment lawyer first
Seek advice from ACAS

This doesn't seem like discrimination.

They are stating factual observations about you and your punctuation etc in the workplace.
Sounds like you are finding it difficult to perform the hours and tasks for which you are employed.

Your childcare needs to be organised.
Working part time might be best.

My god? Do you harp on about this to real people in real life? If so, what are their reactions?

SEX is a protected characteristic, and robustly protected under the Equality Act. That extends to maternity/childcare and there have been countless successful employment tribunals demonstrating the well founded claims by claimants.

Comments such as "baby brain" only need to be said by one person for it to be discrimination.

Rupturing a female's working arrangements and not allowing childcare commitments because of that change is Indirect and Direct Discrimination for the purposes of the Equality Act.

Seriously, you have made an utter fool of yourself with your drivel.

is saying "this job is not suitable for a working mother" not discriminatory?

Why do you think a PIP review indicates health or disability issues?

I took PIP in this context to stand for Performance Improvement Plan? Which isn’t related to health or disability issues- unlike the PIP benefit which is Personal Independence Payment?

Sorry, you are 100% right to pick me up on that, I was watching a programme at the same time as writing and PIP (Benefit reviews) were being discussed so that was my mistake, I of course mean Performance reviews but she is being accused of baby brains - which I find insulting but that is another matter

@PrettyPickle , PIP in this context means Performance Improvement Plan not Personal Independence Payment.

As we well know many people think if they are wfh then they dont need childcare at all and will blag it so that no one finds out. How have others managed if its impossible.

I had no parents, no friends to cover childcare, we just threw money at it for the first few years

Our nursery when the children were younger would offer up until 1900 for an extra charge. Some of the parents would try and avoid paying by turning up late with the usual excuses. Until the nursey starting charging £10 for each 5 MINUTES you were late.

It stopped it dead!

100% this

This is very poor behaviour on their part but unfortunately not uncommon as women often get discriminated/ sidelined following childbirth/becoming mothers.
The fact that they put all this stuff in writing is clearly building a case against you to say you've been giving warnings, didn't do your job etc.

My recommendation would be:

1. Find a lawyer and start building a case against them.
2. Going forward you must firmly address each comment/criticism in writing and push back.

If they tell you you haven't done anything. You have to explain the current status in a clear concise and calm manner, something along the following lines:

I am surprised that you are emailing me about x as this is the first time I've been asked to do this. If you'd like me to do this please could you communicate a clear deadline by which it needs to be done.

if things are said to you, you must send a follow up email outlining the discussion and put it in writing.

my manager has told me that a job like mine is not suitable for working mothers and HR have stated that if i can not work around my children i need to go part time

• that's absolutely unacceptable and you should write back and say that you were quite shocked that he/she said that a job like mine is not suitable for a working mother etc.

my HR person has stated that i am not attending the office for my full hours despite him coming in after me and leaving before every week

• this is not good and something they can use as gross misconduct, so you must ensure you work the hours outlined in your contract.
• however you must respond to each such accusation firmly confirming that you work the designated hours as per your contract and really shocked at their suggestion that you don't, which is not factual. Give examples where you worked overtime and had to work late etc. which you of course able to do occasionally but hope the organisation appreciates the efforts on your part.

You must record each occasion of being side lined or mistreated and selectively put stuff in writing and put other examples in your back pocket for an upcoming grievance.

You have to be assertive and make them understand you know the game they are playing. The common and natural reaction would be to sweep these comments under the rug and hope they will go away but I can assure you they won't. Every message they send in writing is to build a case against you.

So you have to start building yours. They must understand that every email they send may backfire.

If they allow flexibility to other team members but not you without obvious reasons, try to have some emails/ facts supporting that.

However, it means that there is no room for mistake. You must do your hours, you must complete your tasks especially if they are asked in writing. Each time you should respond and say what has been done and if it's been completed etc.

Ask in writing for certain days/hours that work for your family explaining that it won't affect the workload but would suit you better as it would better align with your current set up etc. It's important to record these things. Ask for sick days related to children, get a doctors note saying you are under immense pressure at work due to the pressure they put on you. Don't be shy about highlighting the fact that you are a working mother and support the family etc.

Make a note if they are signatory to some family friendly initiatives which they clearly
don't follow.

That's what I can think of from the top of my head. Good luck!

in tandem i have now been put on an informal pip for a spelling error. since then, every mistake is emailed to me and my manager will message me on teams with all capital letters asking why i made these mistakes and that i can no longer make any mistakes at work.

You had several mistakes in your OP. If that's how you write at work, I'm not surprised they have pulled you up on it and you do need to improve it. Complaining about the "grammar police" on here isn't going to help.
However, the manager has dealt with this inappropriately by messaging on teams in capital letters. The "baby brain" comment is also completely inappropriate as is the manager saying the job isn't suitable with working mothers.
I do think they are trying to bully you out and are building a case. You need to make sure you improve your writing and also make sure you have an accurate record of all hours worked and do exactly the right number of hours, not 5 minutes short etc.
Then maybe consult a lawyer or a union rep if you have one.

Has there been changes to their ‘policy’ since you started working there? If so, ask to see evidence of this.

Good post but please don't forward anything to your personal email- that may be considered a misconduct. Take photos of each such email on your personal phone. Never email anything to your personal email.

OP I'm shocked to read a global company behaves this way. Ignore all the posters claiming this is normal. I would join a union and speak to an employment solicitor. In the meantime, keep accurate records of all communications and logs of how you are being treated differently to male colleagues.

Wrong thread?

Yes, I know and I have already addressed this above!

But is they are accusing her of having "Baby Brains" that does sound like discrimination and she could get them on a double whammy, but she needs to improve her spelling and/or use spell check. Comments like “baby brain” made to a woman returning from maternity leave can amount to unlawful discrimination, and placing her on a PIP (partially) because of assumptions about new mothers can also be discriminatory.

No one cares what you did how bad it was for you. There is a thing called change and progress. WFH means flexibility and better quality of family life and there isn’t a single thing wrong with that. It’s across the board that people who work from home nip out to do the school run and this is often ok with most management and it will continue to become the norm.

Just because you and others preferred being corporate slaves at the expense of your children doesn’t mean going forward everyone should do the same. People are resisting the old ways and rightfully so.

OP there’s plenty there for discrimination get some legal advice.

Op is it worth all the stress, if there is literally no paid childcare available then maybe you could apply to go part time?

Ps. I understand the difficulty. I chose to go part time (30hrs per week) so I only have to pay for wrap around care til 6pm for 3 days a week.