Your tips please to a happy household when working ft...

[YouSmegHead]

So recently went back to work ft and haven't found my stride yet. What top tips do you have for keeping me sane

Am marking my place to read this thread (and take copious notes!) tonight. Thanks everyone :)

OK, so everyone here is so much more organised than me and I didn't feel like I was doing too badly . I do things like batch cook a big bolognese for Sunday dinner and then keep it going for a few days - things like one day spag bol, the next add some chilli powder and kidney beans and have with rice for chilli con carne, the next maybe stick it in an oven dish with some pre rolled puff pastry on top for a pie. You can also make very quickly a scone dough and roll it in balls and place on top of the mince in an oven dish and you get a lovely cobbler. Things like pre prepared veg/salad or frozen veg are great for dinners in a hurry.

I get everything ready the night before including my packed lunch to take to work. I even lay out my breakfast things on the kitchen worksurface to save fumbling in cupboards in a hurry and have the kettle pre filled with the amount of water I need to make a tea in the morning so all I have to do it flick the swicth. It's little things like that.

I admit I do struggle with cleaning. I do vacuuming maybe every other day downstairs - a quick whizz around whilst DH baths DD, as it gets so messy so quickly.

Oh, and we never iron everything, just hang up and fold very very carefully, but then we don't have things like shirts to iron as DH doesn't wear suits to work.

I'm confused - When people say they hang their washing on hangers straight out of the washer to dry nicely, where do you hang them? I could maybe fit 2 things in the shower and one thing per radiator but they'd take an age to dry!

I've got a Hangaway and an X wing airer which take loads of stuff, then a dehumidifier to take the damp out of the air around them. I can dry 3 or 4 loads of washing overnight this way. I am a bit evangelical about the dehumidifier tbh.

A mobile hairdresser is fab - the one I use is the best cut I have ever got, he charges me £20, and he comes in the evening, so I'm not wasting weekends having boring haircuts in a noisy salon. I do my own shellac nails now, which saves time and money.

DH worries about all these things too btw - although theres lots of days when he's out on site till all hours, when I'm away for work he deals with everything. He sorts a babysitter if he needs one, shuffles meetings into time schedules that work, cooks, shops etc. Its the agreement in our house - when we decided to have a child I was always going to be working and its always meant travelling, so he knew what we were doing.

Can we put this in classics? I don't want it to go phuttt!

ithinkimightbegoingmad I agree it is depressing when 100% of your time is accounted for but I look at it as an investment as I get more senior at work and as my DD grows up it will get easier I hope (I cant afford a cleaner atm either and run around like a headless chicken just doing the minimum)

I don't have 1 single second spare time in the week but I make sure I have at least 1 morning or afternoon at the weekend to do what I want and QT with my OH and DD. I've accepted that I wont get leisure time even to read or anything in the week. Last night though I had wine and danced round the kitchen with DD while we were on hold to the elec company on speakerphone while she did homework and we ate dinner and that was quite fun. you cant change the situation but you can change yorur attitude x

you cant change the situation but you can change your attitude x

^ this is the key to happiness!

they will be grown and gone before you know it...then we will all be longing for some of the madness and mayhem to return

I also look around at some of the people I know who are lonely and sad and bored and am thankful

< damn I'm cheesey! >

Yep - even in the middle of noooooooo, mummy, nooooo coat, noooo, mine, no,nononono [kick, flail, fall to the ground overwhelmed by suggestion of putting coat on for nice outing to park] - even then I think: I am so very, very lucky.

[with extra cheese]

Chic, it gets hugely easier and reading this thread reminds me how it is with little children and how much spare time there is when they are huge 13 year olds. Womern and men just have to stick on in there.

I do think sexism can play a big role. Someone mentioned name tapes. Last school I had no involvement with name tapes. Their father did them or found someone to sew them on. Nothing to do with me. Not he helping me but he 100% responsible for naming school uniform. you don't need a degree in sewing to do that whether you are male or female.

I agree about the attitude change. I always thinkn change what you can and make the best of what you can't but don't moan.

I love this thread.

I work 4 days but v.long, so not much time for anything else on working days. I realise from this thread that I thought I was organised but I must improve!

My tips:

I have a dodo pad diary that I love as there's loads of room to staple invites, school newsletters etc to the pages and make notes that i must not forget. MThis makes me feel organised as I always have it with me and gives peace of mind.

I can't get into batch cooking (can't be @rsed by the time the weekend arrives) but I do menu plan so I know what needs to be done. DS2 gets up ridiculously early so I have started preparing evening meal at 5.30am.

I do have a cleaner once a week which is a godsend.

I try not to put anything off. Homework is done by DS1 on the night he gets it with a refresher on the morning it is due in. Birthday invites replied to as soon as received.

I do struggle with remembering birthdays as work / life takes over and i just can't get to the shop or post office.

1. Cleaner - I thought I couldn't afford this, but somehow I did and now I can't imagine life without one! 2 hours on a Friday, £15, bliss.

1. Iron for the week on Sunday night, have clothes ready the night before. Don't iron PJs or bedding or undies but I find having it all ironed and neat saves me time in the long run finding things.

1. Be strict about what actually needs to get washed - DS wears the same uniform for 2 days unless it's filthy ;-) Don't just put things automatically in the washing basket.

1. School dinners for DS, hot lunch at work in microwave for me and DH means I only have to put supper together when we get in at 6.30.

1. Bags and coats and shoes have proper homes and get put ready for the next day as soon as we get in.

1. Always wash up. Be ruthless with clutter. Never go to bed with the place in a mess however tired you are.

1. Shortest possible commute.

1. I use a timer for stuff - it makes me do it and keeps us on track - i.e. we have to fit piano practice in, so I'll just say right we're doing it now and put the timer on for 15 minutes and get stuff done.

1. Plan meals so you know what you're having. Do supermarket shop online and have it delivered.

1. I send DH and DS downstairs to have brekkie etc while I make the beds and sort the bathroom in the morning, get myself dressed and then bring their clothes down with me - seems to work the best!

We both work really full full time (i always have, DH used to be house husband but works now) and DS is 5 and goes to school and then after school club til 6... I don't know how people do it with multiple kids though - I am running at full stretch!

re remembering birthdays....for family and good friends i compensate for never remembering by sending random presents throughout year, when i see something they will like...how doesnt like an unexpected gift? and it means they get something good/relevant instead of some crap i have bought last minute

amazon is a godsend...can get it delivered straight to them, to avoid having to wrap and go to PO...they do a gift wrap service for a few extra quid

Oh and I put all the birthdays into Moonpig so it reminds me to send a card and I can do it from my desk at work!

moaning (to others or in your head) actually makes YOU feel worse (I speak as a reformed complainer)

Amazon prime and a John Lewis account ( both on iPhone) mean you can present shop , buy uniform , music books costumes etc anytime you have a free moment and they are delivered the next day -

And finally - get the biggest and best clothes airer that money can buy! You need to be able to get a whole load on it with nothing touching - I have one that is just massive and flat (like a table shape if that makes sense) so everything is hanging straight down and it has changed my life ;-)

Can I just peep in here to say I have been back at work for three weeks and I am

FUCKING LOVING IT!!!

Just love being organised, never wandering aimlessly around the house looking at ever growing washing piles and trying to amuse darling baby dd2. Watching e clock tick by until school finished.

I go to bed at nine, absolutely knackered, but I feel so much more like ME now I'm back at work. Actually dreading half term!

At work, I'm treated as a person, have actual conversations and coffee and cake whenever I want too often

My top tips are, everything ready and put in bags/car the night before. Lunches in fridge, clothes hung in bathroom (I leave very early in morning and DH does school run so I dress in bathroom to avoid waking anyone). I do my makeup when I get to work as there is nobody there to scare when I get there in the morning. I shop quickly after school when I only have one child with me and no buggy and it's done in an hour. I usually cook tea for monday night on Sunday and so on and so forth. Quick teas (freezer stuff, beans or egg on toast) kill no one and my family actually prefer it sometimes. When cooking stew or cottage pie I always make two and freeze one. I also take leftovers to work for lunch.
Because I get up before DH and kids, I lay breakfast things ready for them, makes life a bit simpler in the morning. Apart from that things we are failing on is paperwork etc but hey, I've only been back to work three weeks and we are moving house in two weeks, we will improve I'm sure. Oh, and I haven't hoovered or polished for over a month and I couldn't give a shit and you can't tell! Kitchen and bathroom I clean as I go, wash clothes twice a week and beds when they need it. My standards are always quite low but everyone thinks my house is lovely!

I bumped into a mate who has given up work in the supermarket today and she looked so lost, so aimless, I just glowed inside because I love my job!

Ask me in a month I will probably hate it again!

Oh yes chic mamma, moaning to others def makes me feel like shit so I try not to do it now. Except when it comes to the subject of DH, then I'm happy to moan away....

We have always had 2 clothes airers. When we had three in cloth nappies at night circa 1988 (I have had nearly 28 years of practice at all this stuff) it was essential - although in those days their father did 100% of the washing and I'm not srue I knew how to use the machine although I did other jobs. To his credit he was also very good at suggesting plans eg his idea that we put the washer and dishwasher on every morning so the daily nanny who looked after the 3 children could empty it really helped or the cleaner when we could afford one worked well as it meant we were not left to empty it all and put it away.

I remain of the view that the worst thing of all is lack of sleep. None of our five slept well at all. The oldest now at age 28 still hardly sleeps. We had a child waking and often a baby up for hours most nights for years. When we were richer I remember taking the twin babies to the gym on Saturday aftenroons to go into the creche for 2 hours and I used to have a sauna and then sleep for an hour on a bed outside the sauna and then read the papers. Those 2 hours most of which was just sleep whilst the twins genuinely had a really lovely time were so important. on the other hand with other chilren the idea we might be able to afford a gym would have been laughable. you just have to adapt to your own situation.

Good to see Blackberry loves her job. Far too many men and women seem to hate their lives and work which is such a shame.

Those younger than I am, ie everyone on the thread - can take heart that recent studies have shown men and women are at their happiest between 50 and 70 years of age so you can take it from me that things will only get better and better and better.

I recently discovered the virtues of a Sheila Maid clothes airer. Loads fits on those things, and it's up in the air out of the way while it dries.

Because of DD's wet eczema, I used disposables in the 1980s, unlike Xenia, but they weren't as efficient as disposables now, and they leaked a lot, so I think we all did a lot more washing in those days. Washing machines were crap as well, as they broke down all the time. Now they are usually a lot more reliable.

I am lucky, I suppose, because all mine have slept at least adequately and some actually rather well, so that has helped a lot. We are very strict on bedtime routines though - not fascistic, just very consistent.

Hi there
We have moved this thread out of chat so it doesn't disappear.
It can probably going in lots of places but we think "going back to work" topic is a good one
Thanks
MNHQ

I've had to work FT since DS was a tiny sprog, so what I really need is a wife... But failing that, I have a few tips. Firstly, if you make packed lunches, don't bother with sandwiches. Give 'em a couple of ready-cooked chicken drumsticks wrapped in foil with a few cherry tomatoes thrown in. My DS loves them. Doddle. Secondly, if you cook something like a curry or a casserole at weekends, make double and freeze it. You'll soon have an impressive stock of home-cooked ready meals at your disposal for those nights when the ping of a microwave is music to your weary ears. Thirdly, do your grocery shopping online and get a cleaner who irons if you can possibly afford it. Lastly, don't be a skivvy. Don't let the rest of the family assume that everything is your job. You have a job, thank you very much...

Thanks Olivia

RancerDoo on p.1 has a diary with a column for everyone. Now, that I need! Ideas where I can get one/ something like? I need 4 columns! And as portable as possible as I am a car-less luddite (yet to pass a driving test) who walks/ bikes everywhere.