Your tips please to a happy household when working ft...

[YouSmegHead]

So recently went back to work ft and haven't found my stride yet. What top tips do you have for keeping me sane

[BoffinMum]

£12 per hour, I knew him locally and he has done other things for me, but basically he started by cleaning my windows and then it segued into the current arrangement. We have kids the same age and get on very well, which helps too.

[BoffinMum]

He does 2 hours and gets through the same as my female cleaner used to do in four. However I am always nagging him because his toilet cleaning technique isn't to my liking. I regard it as a victory if he descends to putting on rubber gloves. Apart from that, he's great.

[ChocChipCookieMuncher]

I wear suits for work too but instead of the types of shirts/blouses i'd have to iron I wear 'smart' jersey type tops or long sleeve t shirts - if I hang these up well and pull into shape when they are wet I don't need to iron. They still look smart with a suit and nice necklace
My DS wears polo shirts for school, not shirts I have to iron. I don't iron any kids stuff unless we're going to a Christening or wedding! Life is too short.

[Xenia]

CCCM same here, no shirts under a suit. Makes huge difference to washing.
I don't know if my children are different from others but for the 20+ years we have had school shirts they have changed them once a week and they really don't smell. Yet so many others seem to have 5 shirts per child per week which in our family of 5 would be 25 children's school shirts a week!

[bossboggle]

Reading this makes me so glad as to what I have. I have three DC's (grown up now more or less) one of my DC's is disabled and has been all their life, they were born that way. I am a carer 24/7 so I don't have time off as such but reading your posts people I am so grateful that since having my DC's I have never had to take paid employment outside the home. My DH works at a paid job so I don't have to. My day and night can be sometimes hectic but reading these - your lifestyles sometimes seem to be unthinkable to me. Good luck to all of you trying to juggle home life and a paid job - yes I am a carer full time to my disabled DC but I wouldn't even think about taking on what you people do!! I am a full time carer, housewife, homemaker what ever and I love it.....(and I get my breaks when I want them!!) And just for comment the carers allowance is just over £58 per week which works out at 32 pence an hour............swap anyone??!!

[MrsMuddyPuddles]

You wear knit blouses (Sainsburys has had some nice ones recently), DH irons his own or does without, and pretend that the school uniforms got wrinkly on the way to school

If you want to take advice from someone who's name is Muddy Puddles for a reason! :)

I love marriedinwhite's routine! I wish I had one, but I guess I could sort it out myself...?

Seccond the slow cooker suggestion- I used to alternate evenings: one night was preping slow cooker, the next day we ate it and I washed dishes, the day after we ate the leftovers and I prepped it again.

[BoffinMum]

My boys have 6 shirts each a week (including Saturday school) and I think we could probably get away with having 2 a week, tbh, but DS1 does his own washing and just hangs them up after they come out of the machine and it is all fine, so no ironing there (if he is organised). The nanny does it for DS2, or we do, and the little one wears jeans and t-shirts to nursery so that's pretty simple. DD fortunately went to a school where they all dressed like scruffy hippies anyway (no uniform) and she boarded so that was the most effortless school laundry duty anyway.

[Xenia]

I am not sure why bossb thinks working all day at home caring is any easier than working in an office. In fact it's easier going out to work as you get more variety and more money and usually your other half is doing at least as much as you are a home so it's fairer and nicer all round.

[blueshoes]

boss, I am sure you work very hard and are committed to your dcs. I am glad you enjoy it. But no offence it would not occur to me to swap your life for mine. At least I work because I want to and enjoy it. Many parents don't have that choice but to work ft to pay the bills.

So be aware of what you saying on this thread. In fact, I am not even sure what is the point of your post in the context of this thread.

[JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar]

Yup, what xenia said.

[brumkat]

Hiya - anyone had an au pair before? We have had a nanny in the past, and although she was great, we can't afford one at the moment, and full time nursery would not work for us with the hours we both work. Just about to go full time and wondered if anyone had used an au pair, and if it had worked for you? Even contemplating Granny Au Pair form Germany that heard about on woman's hour. Anyone had any experience with them? cheers x

[jontybabe]

As the mother of a special needs child and a full time worker my life is planned with military precision -
1.Meal Plan - we plan our meals as we are doing our online grocery shopping. Whoever gets home first gets dinner started.

1. Whenever we can we cook meals in advance
   
2. Calendar / Diary - just can't function without them
   
3. Rope the kids into helping - mine tidy the kitchen after evening meals and get weekends off. Its how they earn pocket money.
   
4. Everyone responsible for their own laundry. Hubs and son do their own, including ironing. I just do mine and my daughters.
   
5. Shop online - no flippin time to run around the shops.
   
6. Leave items on the stairs if they need brought up to bedrooms / bathroom.
   
7. Find out what everyones plans are for the week - youthclub, meetings etc so that evening meals can be planned accordingly. No point in making a huge dinner if there's no one at home to eat it.
   
8. If you can afford it, get a takeaway at least once a month as a well deserved treat. We usually do this around about pay day.
   

10. Set aside particular days / evenings to spend time together. Friday nights are movies night with my son. Saturday afternoons are doing activities with my daughter. Saturday nights are for the grown ups!

[BoffinMum]

That GrannyAP thing does look interesting.

[Xenia]

I never wanted anyone living in (au pair etc) but having my 3 graduate children move home after university was the same thing in a sense. It's certainly helpful to have someone else there.

Hoever if you look at the lengths the Victorians went to ensure servants were not around all the time (see Friday night's programme about Servants) even designing houses around separation you can see the issues. Most of us hardly have a spare room never mind any kind of separation for an au pair and yes they are supposed to be made a member of your family and there are vast numbers (one lady had 1000 applicants from Spain alone for one new position) but they are around and about you. If you don't mind that then that's fine. If you don't I think it can interfere with family life. On the other hand I've always found the more people around the better everyone behaves so perhaps there are plus points.

[marriedinwhite]

We had six years of au-pair sfrom when dd was about 6 to 12(ish). We had one who was OK and wanted to stay and stay, one complete disaster and three who were fabulous who each stayed a year. We found the best for us was Swedish girls. They were slightly more expensive but their English was superb and they tended to be able to cook and to have fairly traditional family values. Admittedly we have plenty of space, are in a popular part of zone 2 London, and are very close to some very good language schools.

They are brilliant for older children and ours did the laundry, tidied the children's bedrooms, took in the shopping delivery, collected things like registered letters, the dry cleaning and the shoe mending. Ours did one of two evenings of babysitting each week (included in the deal), and were on duty from 3.30 - 6.30 each day and sorted the children's activities and tea. Ours also did extra hours in the school holidays (about an additional 6 weeks full time) and were paid double money for those weeks.

We always had a cleaner as well and didn't expect them to do any cleaning. The last one was with us about 2009/10 and got £80.00, a house phone - mobile, a return flight home, three paid weeks holiday (that might be more now), and usually one and a half terms of paid language school fees. We also have two bedrooms at the top of the house and a bathroom which they tended to use as a bit of an attic flat so we could establish a bit of space between us. The Swedish ones tended to plug themselves into the Swedish church nr Edgeware road and that got them off to a good start on the friends front. On the whole it was very good; all the Swedish parents came over at some stage to inspect us and have a few days in London and we remain close to the two of the girls.

Worked for us.

[mathanxiety]

What ironing?

Ironing is one thing you should not be doing. Either find someone to iron, or get a dryer and use dryer sheets. Take the clothes out of the dryer and fold very neatly. You may have to get rid of clothes that really need ironing and buy only things that are trouble free.

If you don't have a dryer, get one. And a dishwasher.

My DCs have no uniform for secondary and they can do their own laundry themselves once they get to 11-12 ish. For the one still in uniform I have three knit not woven shirts for her and one skirt. The skirt is easy care polyester or something like that with pleats that it would take a tornado to shift. It goes in the washing machine and hangs to dry overnight. Usually once a week is fine for the skirt. The shirts wait until the weekend or if DD4 wants she can get the two older ones to drop it into their wash. (They arrange that one bungs it all in the machine and the other puts everything in the dryer. Then they both sort and fold). They take off uniforms when they get home and that saves washing. They have plenty of slouch clothes to slouch around home in.

The DCs are all responsible for all the things they need for school being ready in the morning. I do not look for shoes or homework or stuff they were supposed to bring. Tough if you have no idea where it is. You had all night to find it and leave it ready. I have made them get themselves organised form when they were about 8. I am doing them all a favour in the long run by getting them to stand on their own two feet.

It's really, really easy to get a nanny from Spain or Greece right now. They are pricing Polish and E. European nannies put of the market. However, watch out for amateurs driven by economic problems whose motivation is to leave Spain or Greece.

I cook 3-4 times a week and we have leftovers the second day. We eat whatever is left in the fridge over the weekend.

No-one takes a bath. There is no lock on the bathroom door and when your shower time is up you can expect company. Everyone takes a shower in the evening except me.

Keep a master list in the kitchen of every single thing you ever buy or have bought in the past. Do it in sections or randomly can work too, depending on what way your mind tends to work. When you go shopping, sit down with the master list first and work from the list. Keep a dry erase board or post its in the kitchen where you can write memos to self about things you are running low on. Train the DCs to leave notes about items that need to be bought too (cereal, juice, tampons, toothpaste, whatever). Don't ever go out shopping without a thorough list. That is if your local delivery service really isn't up to snuff.

Big kitchen calendar and everyone trained to use it goes without saying. Open post beside the calendar and rummage through school bags there too to keep track of school events. Have the bin within easy distance and toss everything once noted. Keep your own admin filing system within easy reach too.

If you don't have a good size freezer, get one. Freeze meal sized batches of pasta sauce. Gussy it up with cream, vodka, olives, etc when you put it in the pot. Freeze items like meatballs in meal size batches, same goes for stir fry meats. Freeze strips of cooked chicken and you can make virtually anything for dinner quickly. Use frozen veg that doesn't need prepping, esp garlic, onion, etc that goes in every meal just about...

Me time is the crack of dawn for me. I like being all alone before everyone gets up and I have my tea and toast and shower without being mithered by everyone.

[PlaySchool]

Don't iron
Do less cleaning
Keep on top of laundry and dishes - never let them pile up
Never go upstairs empty handed
Sort out uniforms on Sunday
Get an online grocery delivery on Monday.
Have a cleaner.
Never sit down!!!!!

[beesmum]

Mandy21 I do very little ironing. Put clothes on hanger as soon as they come out of dryer. School uniforms are smoothed and folded as soon as they come out of the dryer or off the line. If you have older ch, they can iron their own clothes. But having said that, my dd, 17, seems to never need to iron her clothes. When I do iron something, I only do it if I will definitely wear it that week.

[BoffinMum]

I have a Spanish nanny at the moment who is a trained professional chef. She needs a bit of guidance but overall she is doing really well. Great work ethic and takes instructions well.

[BoffinMum]

Plus I can say to her 'please cook 20 portions of bolognaise for the freezer' and this will be done to restaurant standards!

[WhenLifeGivesYouLemons]

Just started writing up a meal plan. Does anyone have any tips for this? I've planned for a different meal everyday in a fortnightly rotation with one fish dish a week (my DH hates fish but will have fish'n'chips and tuna pasta bake). After trying a few different plans I've found that I've ended up with loads of salady meals in one week and loads of carb heavy meals in the other Are there any good sites for this sort of thing (brain won't work)

May have to invest in a chest freezer

[VerySmallSqueak]

I need a cleaner,dishwasher and freezer.
Trouble is I'm space and money short,as well as time.

I think the bulk buying presents (as well as cards) idea is inspired though.Same present boy or girl x at least half dozen.Brilliant idea!

[blueshoes]

WhenLife, I meal plan every week. I don't use any sites and I don't think there is any real magic to it.

We eat the same meal 2 times a week by cooking double of each meal, doing much of the preparation/cooking over the weekend. The first time we eat it fresh, the second time it is just heated up leftovers. So I just need to plan 3 different dishes a week. The stub meal will be a one-off (often salad, soup, snacky-type meal like sandwich or leftovers from weekend, or could be de-frosted food, or in your case, a fish dish).

With the weekly meal plan, I put the ingredients onto a shopping list for the weekly shop. Therefore, I only do one big shop a week.

[nkf]

I think planning for two weeks is unecessary. And it's a good idea to use seasonal veg or things that are on special offer. One thing I find useful is to make a huge amount of ragu and divide into individual family sized portions for the freezer. That way, I always have the basic ingredients for:
cottage pie
lasagna
bolognese
fajitas.

One day a week, dinner is more or less made, not just planned.