Your tips please to a happy household when working ft...

[YouSmegHead]

So recently went back to work ft and haven't found my stride yet. What top tips do you have for keeping me sane

Zz - search dodo pad. A work colleague had one and I copied. It had 4 columns.

Re: birthdays - i am creating a John Lewis account and I am going to join moonpig tonight!

Thanks OliviaLMumsnet

Frozen mash, frozen chopped onion.

I LOVE the idea of spaghetti Bol pie!

Things that help us:

• Putting out clothes
• Organising bags etc
• Make lunches the night before
• A lovely cleaning lady for 2 hours a week
• Daily washing
• Food shopping delivered
• Share the organisation of our little boy in the evening and at night
• Have some time to chill before bed

I work FT (teacher, so extra work in evenings too), DH is just PT so he is the 'housewife'. We can't afford a cleaner, although when we did have one it didn't make a huge amount of difference tbh. We manage by doing the following:

Bathroom gets cleaned once a week, hoovering and dusting ditto, kitchen given proper clean weekly too. So long as the house isn't too minging then I can cope. Any major jobs and a decent clean happen every six weeks when I'm on holiday.

Shop online (Asda and Approved Food)

DS and I make bread and a cake or biscuits every weekend that gets portioned and frozen for his lunches.

Bags, breakfast and clothes all laid out the night before.

I don't iron. Ever. DH's work uniform is all designed to not need it. DS not old enough to need school uniform but wen he is I will buy him non-iron shirts from M&S (this is where DH works so we get a discount). DD as the odd dress that needs ironing but I just hang them up and they dry OK.

We have the most expensive washing machine that we could afford and it has a mad spin cycle that gets things nearly dry and a huge drum for extra big loads.

I am conditioning DS (3) to put stuff in the laundry basket. He will clean up after DD and me without asking now which saves me a job!

I work ft, have four dc and dh works overseas- he is away for about 3 months at a time. I do laundry every day, sometimes twice, and then put on radiator or tumble dry. Tumble dryer is on all the time. Ready chopped veg and ready grated cheese save a bit of time. My house is run to mitary level in the morning- there is no time for anyone to be late for anything. Bath for dc in the evening where possible. Treats- important for all the family- dc and you. Good luck with the return to work.

Oh yes. I buy everything online. All birthday presents delivered straight to recipients whose addresses are stored in Amazon.

And I have just discovered online postage from the post office too. This has revolutionised my life.

This is a long post...but this is what is working for me. Outsourcing is the name of the game!

1. Get a good, reliable cleaner. Get said cleaner to come twice a week. I live in a 4 bed house and ours comes 3 hours Monday, 3 hours Friday.

1. Cleaner does all laundry and ironing. This is NOT the time to be fussy about someone else seeing your pants.

1. Get three large drawstring bags labeled shirts, dry cleaning and handwash. Then you know you can deal with your delicate things yourself. Get work shirts collected by local dry cleaner/laundry person (we live in SE London and have amazing dry cleaners who collect between 8 and 10pm at night and drop off again the following night. Tonight I rang them at 7:15 and they arrived 20mins later (for free)).

1. Never go to a supermarket. Use online grocery shopping service (tesco, ocado, etc). Get a regular delivery slot (Ocado delivery pass is fab) and have it delivered same time each week WHEN YOUR CLEANER IS HERE. Cleaner puts away all food and writes down if she see things running low.

1. Get cleaner to do changes of bed linen on a regular basis.

1. Wash your hair at night.

1. Make sure clothes (you and kids) are ready the night before, handbag by buggy/front door, etc.

1. Coats/bag for nursery hanging on buggy.

1. Keys in front door last thing at night so not dashing around like loon in morning.

10. Get a 12/31 diary like this: www.amazon.co.uk/Pagna-1-12-1-31-Expanding-Organiser/dp/B000J6FG2C - I read about this in a really good book called "Time Management For Manic Mums". Basically, as soon as you receive anything (post, bit of paper from nursery, school, wedding invite, etc), you deal with it. If you will need it again on a day that month (e.g. you write a check and it is being collected by someone on 25th Oct) - slot it into the 25 page of the diary. If you receive a wedding invite for November 30th, complete the RSVP immediately and stick the invitation into the "November" slot. Then, on 1st of the next month, bring all the "November" stuff forward into its correct 1-31 slot. The CHECK IT EVERY NIGHT - so you can see if there is anything in it you need the following day.

11. Check out BBC Good Food for handy quick and easy dinner recipes to knock up after kids in bed, or stock your freezer now and again. Get your husband to cook dinner a few nights of the week.

12. Bulk buy a job lot of greetings cards, envelopes, wrapping paper. Put them all in a box with pens, scissors and sellotape. Do all your birthday cards at the start of the month, and then use a bring forward diary described at 10 above.

13. Get a mobile beautician/hairdresser who can come to your home after kids in bed to do hair/nails/wax etc, if you like/need that kind of thing (who doesn't??)

14. If you want to be able to do some exercise try and factor it into journey to work...walk to the nursery/.school drop off and then the station. Take running kit and invest in a good running backpack so you can run home all or part the way. In London, it is often quicker!!

15. Breathe. Try to enjoy your time at home. Your house won't be immaculate, but who cares? You'll have clean bathrooms, food in fridge, clean beds and clothes to wear. You won't always remember everything all the time, but no one is going to die as a result. Spend the time you have after you dash home from work reading with your kids, ignoring the blackberry, phone...and enjoy the weekends. There will ALWAYS be things to do...sometimes you just have to remember not to sweat the small stuff.

Can I just say how much better I feel reading how many others have a cleaner! And another vote here for pre-chopped onions and frozen roasties! My main bit of advice is that there is no way for it to be 'easy' - you have to be on top of it all the time, but much more fun life if you use your energy and time the right way round so you are getting a good smooth and enjoyable busy ride rather than an equally hard work but chaotic and grumpy one! Does that make any kind of sense? Lol... Time for bed.

Oh and also on that note - make time to have sex, it's generally worth it ;-)

I want a cleaner! Maybe if I had one I might have time to have some sex! You may just have helped me persuade dh, thank you! X

My military routine consists of starting work at 8.30 ish so I can leave at 4.30 ish.

I get home, chuck something in the oven for ds tea, make his juice ready and put it on the table. Start running the bath with hot water only, get his pjs and vest and put them in the bathroom. Get changed out of work uniform, turn off bath, get tea out of oven. Get his cutlery etc laid out on table.

Go get ds, all the essential jobs are done, tea may reheating in the microwave, but it means ds and I can spend more quality time together because I'm not running around like a loon, I do that BEFORE he gets home. It works for me, an extra 15 minutes in nursery means a much easier evening for everyone.

We have lovely tea, bath, bed routine because I do the bulk of it before I pick him up.

I have always made it very clear how erotic I find it when DH does the ironing...

I remember thinking one day standing outside the house on Friday after work thinking if someone said to me right now, if you give me £15 you can walk into a clean and shiny house and get on with enjoying the weekend, what would I do? That clinched it for me...

Both ft teachers. Get up in good time. Make cuppa for dh. Empty dishwasher at same time. Sort uniform. School letters. Make packed lunch. Strict routine for kids. Breakfast. Sort laundry bits. Dinner money.
Drop youngest at breakfast club.
Return home ( we take it in turns to collect , swap child care with another parent, use after school clubs) tidy, do laundry, make dinner.
Leave big cleaning till the weekend.
Military operation during week. Weekend chill mostly.

Loads of good tips here.

I agree about making sure your DP does his fair share of the work. And not just ad hoc 'can you do this' but 100percenty responsibility for half the tasks. Don't put up with some schmuck sitting helpless on the sofa whilst you rush about like a whirling dervish in charge of everything. It took me a long time to work that one out. Or secondly leave the bastard. Everything is a lot easier when you are single anyway.

Let your children be independent from earlier than you think. Dd was quite young when she took responsibility for herself - she was 10 when she started riding her bike to school on her own, around the same age when she started cooking etc. Give them some responsibility for a household task, they live in the house as well so they can do some family chores. If they go to extra curricular activities let them make their own way there. If they want to go to a nearby city on the train let them. They will grow up to be self sufficient.

I do iron but only my own stuff.

Meal plan, and eat out a few nights a week so saves on cooking 7 days a week which is a pain.

School dinners are easier than lunches and probably cost around the same.

Throw away everything. I hate clutter as it just sits there and makes the house look a state. If you don't have to move piles of stuff before you mop the floor it will make it quicker and easier to clean.

Live in a house with no garden or lawns or shrubs. I would rather live in a flat than have to do gardening or pay a fortune for a gardener!

You don't need to drop your standards but you mustnt take responsibility for everything and be a martyr. You will build a huge head of resentment and be knackered all the time.

Terrible spelling etc in that post

I have the manager of a local commercial cleaning company come in for two hours a week in a personal capacity. He has loads of gadgets used for office cleaning that he can deploy on my house, which means he gets through loads in the time.

The person that delivers healthy packed lunches to children at school for less that the cost of school dinners will surely make their fortune.

I don't work ft (24 hrs a week +2 hr commute)But I do have a housekeeper. As well as cleaning she will cook very well and is happy to hold the fort childcare wise in a crisis. She is a star . We also have a sex life :)

naughtymummy - with the housekeeper???

MtnBikeChick

Who's your dry cleaner? And your mobile beautician???

Housekeepers???? Cleaners????? Mobile beauticians??????

Ther eis a bit of a moral to the tale - if teenage girls research and pick well paid careers and continue to work full time then they can afford (some of them) cleaners or whatever else they choose. It is something to talk to teenage girls about before they pick careers.

However what people's income level I think the basics are the same - make sure your other half does as much as you do; have a calendar with everything on whether electronic or otherwise; get things ready the night before; drop those things that aren't important to you - I never iron, I'd haev to be paid to enter a shop or use a beautician for that matter - I'd rather watch paint dry - actually I suppose that's what you do pay for if someone "does your nails" watch paint dry.. but pick what is important and make the best of life because you can be pretty sure most men and women would be much much more miserable if their sole role were being a housewife and there are loads of people in the UK at present who would almost kill to get any kind of job, even to pain someone's nails or clean her or his house.

And to all those people juggling work and young kids - this is the hardest it will be. It is seriously a lot, lot easier when you have teenagers, you end up with great big chunks of free time and because you have put in the spade work of planning and organisation when you had young children everything seems to run easily.

Teenagers cost a lot more money though, but that's another thread.

Divorce husband and get a good au pair - it wasn't part of my life plan but my life is 100% more organised even though I now work five days a week

Assuming that won't work...

No clutter - everything has a place and nothing is superfluous.

The dcs help, and now do it without promoting. dd, at 8, can make everyone scrambled egg on toast and put on a load of washing. Even the littlest, at 4, makes his bed. Not well, but getting better.
Online everything - bills, banking, shopping. I can do an Ocado shop in ten minutes while I am waiting for a meeting to start.
Have a robust support network - neighbours, a good and reliable handyman, a great cleaner, trustworthy mechanic.
Cycle to work - good thinking time and means I don't have to find time
to exercise.
Pare down wardrobe so everything matches and is good to go - nothing I don't wear, nothing with holes in.
Plan ahead - easier to look for a new insurance quote with time
to spare than to wait until the night before it's due.

I'd love another three hours in the day. I'm only ever one cock up away from disaster and that's being reasonably organised, well paid (obviously helps) and having quite a flexible job...it's hard, no doubt about it.

I had a mobile hairdresser for yonks! He came at time convenient to me and had 6 heads to trim and style. He is still coming over even though its just me left now.

I just cant understand anyone wasting time on ironing. Wash, smooth, fold or hang up. Put in piles according to owners, put on appropriate bed for owners to put away. I have never ever ironed in 31 years! The day child starts Secondary school introduce them to washing machine and dont look back!

My dad did all the ironing in my parents house simply because my mum pointed out that was the only way his zillion shirts would ever get done. She never ironed.