My work insisting I refer to a 9 year old as they/them

[TheMadGardener]

I work in a British primary school. Just started new term. Long standing pupil, a girl, is starting Year 5 now so she is 9 years old. No issues until now although parents are quite "alternative/new age."

Headteacher has informed staff that according to the child and her parents this girl has decided to be non-binary. Staff are now to refer to her as they/them and she is now using a gender-neutral shortened version of her name (think Alex instead of Alexandra or Jo instead of Joanna).

I am extremely uncomfortable with this and will definitely not be using they/them - I will be referring to the child by her chosen abbreviation to avoid using pronouns (at least it's a shortening of her real name rather than a made-up name).

Serious question: I thought new legislation discouraged schools from getting on board with this sort of thing? Or is it only they can't let children do it without parents knowing?

I'm finding it very hard to keep my mouth shut on my actual opinions in the presence of headteacher. (Colleagues I've spoken to on the quiet all think it is bullshit too)

Nobody is criticising the child or (wtf??) seeking "vengeance" against them. What a weird thing to say or think.

It's all projection

Tiresome

Lots of nb people don't use they/them for fear of retribution and violence

Really? Really really?

One minute it's such a tiny thing, next minute it's fear of retribution and violence. Almost enough to make your head spin.

The impression created is that you are using 'they' as though you don't know who they are, which sounds rude.

Christ though the number of posts on this thread about one poor kid. The hatred of trans/nb children, and desire for vengeance against them, never ceases to dismay.

There are multiple posts on MN where people criticise politics, weddings, food choices and fashion choices. There are heated debates about religion and abortion and education and dogs and step families.

Nobody on this board knows this child, so we can only talk about this subject in the abstract. Policies on pronouns have a wider impact, so you should not object to anyone doing so.

If you see posts that break the rules of the site, you should certainly report them, but it cannot be good for you to look for hate where there is none.

Not at all confusing….

It's remarkably similar to an earlier post which accused the OP of getting enjoyment from (supposedly) hurting this child by..... avoiding any third person pronouns.

I hope that this "desire for vengeance" post isn't deleted. It was a shame that earlier one wasn't within MN guidelines as, ideally, hyperbole should stay in the thread so that it can be seen for what it is.

Edited to capture the quoted words correctly.