The Bluestocking Pub: Infinite Cocktails, Questionable Logistics

[MyrtleLion]

Welcome to the nth iteration of the Bluestocking women’s pub, where gerbils are staff, the drinks are free, and alcohol has no effect except to get you to the sweet spot just before the drink you really shouldn’t have had.

Men can go to the Staunch Ally next door.

It’s OK if you don’t understand. Just assume everything is normal.

Previous thread is here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5523989-bluestocking-womens-pub-its-maytime

Good finger positioning. And there should always be room for recorder playing. I always say that the world would be a better place if, cradle to grave, we all started the day with 15 minutes of group recorder playing.

Badgers are very practical and an army marches on its stomach…

You haven't heard me on the recorder....

because everything afterwards that day would be an improvement?😬

I quite agree.

@EdithStourton imagine the improvement on 15 mins a day.
@ErrolTheDragon fair point!

By the time I’d finished with you, you would not recognise yourself.

Hard to improve on this sort of thing https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g6fkk9xccV0

We could so emulate this in the BS.

I can't think of a single useful skill i can contribute.
I'll look after little Gubbins.

Well Gosie hasn't found you yet...

The Introvert Puffling.

Ah, I was thinking more infants school/gerbillaceous in style

It's probably a bit early, but an Introvert Puffling sounds like another cocktail!

Or an 80s (unsuccessful) band!

One evolves into the other. And daily practice helps. @ChristmasStars is right - we could absolutely emulate Palisander in the BS. With practice.

We all need an introvert puffling

Alexandra and Stars are touchingly optimistic about my musical capacities.

I’ve bought myself a Lino cut kit, @Chickadeeinme - but haven’t actually given it a go yet. I believe that buying craft supplies and doing the crafts are two entirely different hobbies! 😂

For true psychological warfare, one needs the Infant school recorder group - 15 children, all playing descant recorders that are slightly differently tuned, some overblowing massively, and none of them playing at the same time. For bonus points, one is playing a completely different tune.

This has been banned under the Geneva convention.

Oh, absolutely, Alex, spot on!
<surreptitiously removes hearing aids>

I've had to use lots and lots of ❤emojis in the absence of a laugh emoji - but that's fair enough, I love all the funny posts that have had me laughing out loud, literally, as in literally literally😄

Fuzzy, you have no idea what hidden depths you have which can be put to use in rescuing Gosie.

If she needs to be rescued. If she was actually kidnapped. If the fake rozzers were not actually crew from Swash's galleon deployed to remove Gosie from a dead end in her investigation and move her swiftly to a more clue-rich environment..

You see? I've been carrying out my important role in all this : sitting in the Bluey thinking deeply about it all. And of course it was all in French - et si les faux-flics venaient du galion de Swash...

Never let it be said that I wasn't pulling my weight - another bottle of Gevrey Chambertin if you will please, bargerbils, this is thirsty work...

I'll see your primary school recorder group and raise you a couple of dozen beginner violin torturers players, all tuned slightly differently to start with and changing tune in a hot room, sawing away diligently in a race to the finish.
Or indeed the ten acoustic guitars trying desperately to follow the one accomplished player, and failing abysmally, producing a random collection of enthusiastic plunks in a postmodern interpretation of "music".
Or the very approximate goose strangler saxophone player who reduced Senior Master Magpie to tears of helpless laughter.

You and I are as one in this, Worley. I bought the gear at least a year ago. Have I used it? No.

My school’s 1st Yr xylophone ensemble was in a class of its own.

Unfortunately, they then performed in the assembly hall.

I raise you...an ocarina choir. A true assault on the ears.

Surely there's a clause which says it's fine so long as one of those tunes is Go and Tell Aunt Nancy?