Gussies Grips' Grandfather. Door to door merkin salesman.

[lechiffre55]

Popped up on my FB feed.
I'm gonna pretend this is an ancestor of Elaine Miller's.
Fair play he appears to believe in his product enough to wear one himself.

Anyone remember Je t'aime, moi non plus, by Jane Merkin and Serge Gainsbourg?

I just spotted this :
Jane Birkin’s original Hermès handbag sells for record €8.6m at Paris auction
€8.6m would buy you a lot of merkin, wouldn't it?

How much is fun fur by the yard, bloody metric, metre these days?

@Boiledbeetle Do you still have your picture of the merkin bunting?

Merkin tartan sounds like it could have its uses, if someone would like to place it for sale online asap.

£3 a metre in Hobbycraft so at a rough conversion rate from Euro to GBP, I'd say that's 2.47m metres of fabric. How many merkins to the metre do you get?

I do

The merkin on the bunting fits on the front of a 5 inch square card so....

Fuck knows

🤣😳

🐭🔻🤣

"How many merkins to the metre do you get?"

😂🤣😂

I think you'd get a fair few - after all, it's a tessellating shape so little fabric wastage. I suppose it would depend on whether they need hemming...

(It is possible I'm over thinking this)

Thanks for posting it again. It made me laugh just as much as the first time that you posted it.

Hemming merkins is not a job for a hot day, that's all I'm saying.

That hem is a sore subject.

"Ragged Merkin Edge"

Hard hitting, no holds barred expose of hand to mouth survival from the Trossachs to the Adirondacks.

"Some days all I had to eat were wild Tunnocks that I caught and skinned with my bare hands".

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Unputdownable!

😍

Do the wild Tunnocks live in the field next to the wild haggis hill?

Reported for doxing!

I'd heard that. Trapping them is quite the art, it requires their preferred bait and a LOT of patience as they can be awfully flighty.

I'd say it's not been done properly, then. Have you checked you didn't leave a tacking pin in it? Cos that will SMART.

(Avoids jokes about little pricks down there)

Pinking shears and sticky tape is about my level of seamstressship.

'seams, I see no seams'

There is no such thing as a wild haggis. The Scots are lying to you to hide the grisly truth. Haggis is the innards of a wild bagpipes. They kill a bagpipes and pull out all the insides which they mix up with herbs and pearl barley, stuff into a sheep's stomach and boil. This is haggis.

They then make a musical bagpipes from the leftovers. The nose becomes the blow-pipe; the arms and legs are the drones; the chantor is fashioned from the tail and the belly is turned into the bag.

There is no such thing as a wild haggis.

I beg to differ!

I'm sorry but no. Just no!.

Whilst your are correct, the wild haggis exists, that photo you put up is a forgery.

I have the original in my family photo album.

As you can see the McBoiled women were the wild haggis catchers.

Not some old blokes.

Why do men always insist on airbrushing women out of history,

Haggis fur makes really good merkins too, apparently it's not only water repellent but male of any species repellent.

Of course there’s wild haggis. I remember the Goodies going on a haggis hunt.