Gussies Grips' Grandfather. Door to door merkin salesman.

[lechiffre55]

Popped up on my FB feed.
I'm gonna pretend this is an ancestor of Elaine Miller's.
Fair play he appears to believe in his product enough to wear one himself.

Don't say that! A certain mob will all want one to prove they're not male.
Merkins are going to go through the cotton roof now!
I bet you're a haggis herder trying to MANipulate the merket.

As if I would be so duplicitous!

I have a message from Elaine regarding this thread about her grandfather...

"I’m now LOCATION REDACTED and have limited signal - can you tell them I’m intrigued and will read it as soon as I get back to civilisation"

She might want to be sitting down with a covered cup of tea in front of her before she opens it.

I have news on the merkin grandfather...

The Oban Chocolate shop sells haggis eggs, you could just breed from those rather than catching them in the wild.

Is that not just Scotch Eggs that have been rolled in cat fur? I hate it when that happens.

Not a cat hair in sight (I'm honestly not their marketing person):
https://obanchocolate.co.uk/collections/gorgeous-gifts/products/haggis-eggs

They sound terrible. Send me a bag at once to prove it.

Sorry, I'm not having this. The source of haggis was explained to me by a perfectly sensible waiter in a posh Edinburgh restaurant when I was 8 years old. He wouldn't have lied to a child would he?

😂😂😂

Erm, @Boiledbeetle, are you sure those are haggises (haggi? not sure about the plural)?

Because I thought they had legs on one side shorter than the other for all that running around hills. Those look remarkably...level. They might be domesticated ones, I suppose, but - call me a purist - the flavour is never as good as the wild-caught ones.

true, it's never quite as gamey tasting.

I think they were used as the bait. Stick the defective young good looking level legged haggis at the bottom of the hill. Set them off in the opposite direction to the ones on the hill and suddenly the wild hill haggis are trying to follow the ones at the bottom, and five minutes later you just scoop them all up at the bottom of the hill.

Are you saying The Goodies lied?!!!!
How dare you!

Does that also mean there's no such thing as 'Ecky Thump' the Lancashire art of self defence? Is my fear of black pudding unfounded?

You are absolutely right to be frightened of black pudding. It is far more terrifying than haggis.

No need to worry. We all know it was the waiter who lied. And to a child too.

I knew I was right about the black puddings. Shame on that waiter.
I'd have a quick tunnocks to calm down but they're a bit sticky in this heat....is it wrong to keep them in the fridge? Or I could find a bit of space between ice cream tubs in the freezer and see if the mallow goes chewy.

Far too warm for a merkin too, unless also chilled in the freezer. Chill your Merkins, you know it makes sense.

MON TEH BLACK PUDDINS

A chilled merkin sound perfect for this weather. I also think it's a good name for a cocktail. Also the sun protection factor of a merkin in this weather makes them an excellent choice for avoiding sunburn in a sensitive spot. I'd kill for a wet merkin frozen right now.

It depends what you do with it. A clip round the ear with a dense black pudding would be something to be afraid of. But they are rather nice for breakfast. Did a walking holiday once where a chef friend brought some black pudding from a butcher he knew and it was AMAZING. It was all I could do not to steal it out of the fridge and woof the whole lot myself.

Not only is there also white pudding but I’ve seen hog’s pudding recently. I can feel a butchers’s order coming on!

A chilled merkin sound perfect for this weather. I also think it's a good name for a cocktail.

”Barman, I’ll have a merkin martini please. Yes, that’s right: gin, a passing glance of vermouth, and a small merkin balanced on an olive.”

Scallops and black pudding with mango salsa. To Die For.

Also, if you’re familiar with the French Canadian delicacy that is poutine (chips/fries drenched with gravy and cheese curds), that can be raised to an even higher level by crumbling black pudding on it.

Oh that does sound good, @TwoLoonsAndASprout. Can I put in a word for crumbling some BP, pan-frying it to make it crispy then sprinkling it over parsnip soup that’s been made by roasting the parsnips first with chilli, honey and thyme?

You absolutely can and I will be keeping that in my back pocket for when hot soup is an appropriate thing to be contemplating…

(The recipe, not the BP. I can imagine BP in a back pocket could be dangerous, especially in this heat.)