Roll up, Ladies and Gentlecreatures, the Bluestocking has been redecorated

[DeanElderberry]

Here for your delight and delectation is the hostelry by, for, and about wise, intelligent, creative and kind women, their assorted avatars including (but not limited to) a remarkable beetle, an astute android, a wise cake, and an assembly of companion creatures and animal assistants.

Food and drink available in abundance, all with remarkable non-damaging qualities.

Males may congregate in the nearby Staunch Ally and sometimes visit the stableyard to view outdoor performances by the gerbil waitstaff (who need to be distracted after the moment after that terrible 'misunderstanding' about the meaning of safe sex).

last thread here if you need to know why the Quokkas need some extra cuddles, and why the Cabybaras are being particularly efficient just now

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5273255-the-bluestocking-all-gerbils-welcome-must-have-own-frou-frou-skirt?

Can I ask that someone (definitely not me I'm not brave enough) have a word with Gaynor, Grace and Gertrude about sleeping whilst on shift?

I'm not against them sleeping during a lull, but I think bringing the bunk beds into the kitchen is taking it a tad too far.

Maybe if the bunk beds weren't actually on the worksurface I'd feel better about it.

The dormitory is very crowded so they're not sleeping well. They were being innovative...

Pheeeep! Oi, gerbils, get yourselves sorted out! Call yourselves hospitality professionals?
Gaynor, bunk beds don't belong in the kitchen. All of you, grab a corner each and move it back outside.
Come on, I don't have all day. It's your own time you're wasting!

@MyrtleLion are you sure there are no tribbles hiding in that dormitory? 🤔

Uh-oh! Have you seen the tribbles under the window?

This would explain the inability of the Bluestocking dormitories to keep pace with the number of staff...

In hindsight we should have started them on the pills much earlier in the threads!

Cake!!!! where did you hide the cute furry gerbil tribble hybrid that you most definitely didn't bring into the pub??

The gerbils have signed up for a Boot Camp in the garden. They are going to learn basic hygiene and correct customer service procedures.

Who's teaching this bootcamp, Inky? Please don't say it's me...

Oh those poor little gerbils. They look like they are in prison. We definitely need to sort them out some better accommodation immediately. I don't want to be party to gerbil-trafficking-slave-labour!

That's what it was! It's been bugging me all day. I really overdid the rum yesterday.

I think 🤔 I went in the dry store room...the room with all those thousands of tiny drawers. Each with its own key.

No of course not! ....

well ... maybe ... but you're so good at it 😳

@FuzzyPuffling

Oh, my heart drooped for them then.

But perhaps they like being so closely packed, so they can enjoy all their midnight feasts by just passing things along, rather then having to get out of their tiny beds….

Well, in that case I'm going to start with a solid health and safety briefing. Ignore any gerbils looking slightly green, they'll get over it. No one will be standing on sharp knives or accidentally impaling customers on flaming skewers on MY watch!

Also cuts down on heating bills, @Swashbuckled.

I think the cute furry gerbil tribble hybrid might be snoring in of these. Good luck @Boiledbeetle

Love the snuggly smugglers’ snug extension too @DeanElderberry
I hate shopping, so very much looking forward to just rummaging through smuggled spoils to get what I need without having to leave The Blue Stocking.

I hope we have good biosecurity border control here. Just thinking of how easy it would be to smuggle in another tribble or 600... Are the quokkas any good as sniffer dog substitutes, or will we need to rely on Colin?

Oh I hate shopping too. May I have a rummage in the loot too please? ( Especially if anyone has books or nice cushions)

We've got several dogs now- Colin, Fatty Ratty ( should be good) Choclab....
One of them should be a Tribble Hound.

I could be persuaded to look the other way on biosecurity if the loot contains some nice fabrics though. I seem to recall we have some crafting rooms somewhere, one of them is bound to be set up with sewing machines.

I’m told there is everything we need in these crates (I have contacts in the smuggling world).

There’s some fresh-good crates too with baked goods. Because they’re smuggled, they’ve had the labels removed and are just wrapped in tinfoil, but I’m reliably informed they’re a stash of Tunnocks. (Sshh.)

Books, cushions, gin, ale, wine, tea, cheese, ham, fruit, nuts; you name it. We never have to go out there again…

Don't tell @Boiledbeetle!

@Magpiecomplex I think she’s too busy looking for the hybrid tribble gerbil to be interested in the smuggled spoils….

Those locked drawers must be really baffling her.